Thursday, November 19, 2009

Cures for Sore Writer's Bummed Out Bottom

I've been plastered to a chair for days now. Not just one chair, but four different chairs as I work toward finishing my second GH entry and synopsis. Let me tell you, aching derriere is not a strong enough description for how my tush feels right now. I feel like there is sandpaper on the inside of my skin, burning thousands of holes into my poor little bum.

Yes, bum. That's Canadian for bottom or butt. I like the word Bum better than bottom or butt, but ... haha ... when in Rome and all that... No... I love the word bum. It is short for BUMMED OUT. Which sounds so much better than Bottomed Out.

Okay, so a few days ago HQN's latest news BUMMED me out. My world and future career as a category writer felt like it had BOTTOMED out.

BUT it hasn't.

Here's why. I have many cures for a sad bummed out bottom. They are, in no particular order, the following:

*understand and learn that getting up and looking for a new perspective eases the pain
*eat chocolate... it is a cure all
*drink wine (see above)
*creatively avoid all email and loop discussion about negative news via hard a**ed work at the computer
*write something that's not a POS (ever notice how Sh** comes from the same area as where one sits?)
*call a dear friend who doesn't write or know one bit about publishing
*discuss kids, food, trips, cats, darling husbands who aren't always heroes but are always there
*touch your vacuum (Christina Dodd does this to remind herself to get her BUTT back in the chair)
*daydream about getting a call on March 25th saying YOU FINALED in the GOLDEN HEART
*laugh your a** off at the above, reset positive button (ever notice how BUTT is in BUTTON?)
*sit down again and write

The only thing I have control over is my writing. BUT if anyone has a cure for my sore bum, please feel free to comment.

4 comments:

Gwen Hernandez said...

Thanks for the morning laugh!

Christine said...

You're welcome, Gwen. Getting ready to read through the first fifty -- again -- in my IKEA chair. Hopefully, my bum will survive the experience ;)

Allison Knight said...

Christine,

Still grinning over your suggestions, but I've been there, done that. I bought a pillow to place under said sore 'bum'. Oh, it helps the rear (an expression I like better than the others) only problem, then the back goes out.
Oh, how we poor authors suffer. Sigh!

Allison

Christine said...

Allison, I was sitting on two pillows on the chair and then my hands started hurting. The pain we suffer indeed.

Thanks for dropping by!