Thursday, November 19, 2009

Cures for Sore Writer's Bummed Out Bottom

I've been plastered to a chair for days now. Not just one chair, but four different chairs as I work toward finishing my second GH entry and synopsis. Let me tell you, aching derriere is not a strong enough description for how my tush feels right now. I feel like there is sandpaper on the inside of my skin, burning thousands of holes into my poor little bum.

Yes, bum. That's Canadian for bottom or butt. I like the word Bum better than bottom or butt, but ... haha ... when in Rome and all that... No... I love the word bum. It is short for BUMMED OUT. Which sounds so much better than Bottomed Out.

Okay, so a few days ago HQN's latest news BUMMED me out. My world and future career as a category writer felt like it had BOTTOMED out.

BUT it hasn't.

Here's why. I have many cures for a sad bummed out bottom. They are, in no particular order, the following:

*understand and learn that getting up and looking for a new perspective eases the pain
*eat chocolate... it is a cure all
*drink wine (see above)
*creatively avoid all email and loop discussion about negative news via hard a**ed work at the computer
*write something that's not a POS (ever notice how Sh** comes from the same area as where one sits?)
*call a dear friend who doesn't write or know one bit about publishing
*discuss kids, food, trips, cats, darling husbands who aren't always heroes but are always there
*touch your vacuum (Christina Dodd does this to remind herself to get her BUTT back in the chair)
*daydream about getting a call on March 25th saying YOU FINALED in the GOLDEN HEART
*laugh your a** off at the above, reset positive button (ever notice how BUTT is in BUTTON?)
*sit down again and write

The only thing I have control over is my writing. BUT if anyone has a cure for my sore bum, please feel free to comment.


Gwen Hernandez said...

Thanks for the morning laugh!

Christine said...

You're welcome, Gwen. Getting ready to read through the first fifty -- again -- in my IKEA chair. Hopefully, my bum will survive the experience ;)

Allison Knight said...


Still grinning over your suggestions, but I've been there, done that. I bought a pillow to place under said sore 'bum'. Oh, it helps the rear (an expression I like better than the others) only problem, then the back goes out.
Oh, how we poor authors suffer. Sigh!


Christine said...

Allison, I was sitting on two pillows on the chair and then my hands started hurting. The pain we suffer indeed.

Thanks for dropping by!