Monday, February 9, 2009

Fighting the Twin Demons of Doubt and Fear

I am ready to get rolling on this book in a week and have planned to put out a household memo based on the rules… I already have easy to cook stuff in the freezer and my daughter is so wrapped up in school play rehearsals and dance next week, she’ll subsist on sandwiches for 3 of the days LOL.

I had to fight to get my right brain back in line this week. I got a contest entry result for the third book back via email on Sunday and, tho’ I didn’t final, I did score very well and got some good feedback. The bad part about this is it made me want to A)tinker with the biggest problem both judges saw regarding a first meeting scene between the hero and heroine, and B)all the storyline/characters for the third book came and interfered with this new book. ARGH.

Then the whole, doubt, fear why am doing this when I have to send a kid to college in 3 years and I am not financially rewarded for playing with these stories resurfaced. I was definitely blue. Well, I opened the closet door with all my “successes and reasons why I am cut out for this crazy field” and read my favorite quote by Delle Jacobs and felt a bit better. Then I called a writing buddy and said, look, can you read this for me? And don’t give me any feedback till March cause I can’t think about this book till then. And she agreed to do it. And then I sent it to a good friend who just likes reading my stuff for me, and asked her to do the same.

That helped. And I am querying the book to three publishers this week so I can tell my husband I am at LEAST TRYING to sell the dang thing. How does one explain to one’s people how bloody hard this industry is???? But I will succeed. I have to. I don’t want to wear pantyhose for work unless I am being interviewed by someone about my glorious writing career.

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