I got back my contest entry for Linda Howard Award of Excellence. I got a composite score of 176, almost finaled! Yeah, but the problem is with my hero and I don't know what to do to fix it. Of course, I am disappointed. But I did get excellent feedback. All 5's on the writing and motivation and the overall craft elements. I also got back an "edited" ms and I am not sure what I am going to do with it. I am SO CLOSE. But I am not there. Yet.
Oh well. I printed it all out, popped into the TSTE box and have emailed my two writing buddies in VA to share with them. I can't really worry about the problems I have to fix with that story. I need to focus on the 4th book and let this one slide away for a bit.
But it is SO FRUSTRATING. Things I cut because of other contests, were asked for in this one. Argh argh argh. I am beyond pissed about that. Mostly at myself. And this is what I sent to the GH, so now I have no hope at all of even coming close to finaling. Or selling this POS. Maybe the next one. Maybe maybe maybe.
And then, talking with the DH, he's like WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS IF YOU PROBABLY WON'T MAKE MORE THAN A FEW THOUSAND A YEAR?? I don't know how to answer that to him. I LOVE writing. But I do want to make some money. I'd be happy if I made a $1000 a year or something. Hell, I'd be happy if I finally got the CALL. But that isn't happening any time too soon.
The good news is that the story can be fixed. It does have very strong elements. SOMEONE MIGHT BUY IT. One day. I told myself 50 or bust. I've got 4 more years to slog away at this. Then I'll have written for 10 years. 7 books, 10 years is the adage. We'll see where I am at that point.
Meanwhile, maybe I can write a movitational lecture for non-published writers about how to get up and face the computer even if no one else reads your shit but contest judges, other writers, and your friends.
Sigh.
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