Eager to Start Again

After a very busy busy week and being away from my novels, I am ready to start working again. I can't wait to start the revision process on the fourth book as well as to continue polishing the third book. I miss my babies.

I am also chomping at the bit to start marketing my book(s) again. I feel adrift, but also very very tired. I am sooooo exhausted. My brain seriously hurts. But I know that by Monday I will be ready to hit my books again. Hard.

PRO Pangst

Well now that I am a PRO I am learning all about the industry. First big lesson: if no one wants your book after you query them... then shelve it and move on to the next book and query it.

Hmmmm

But I think I also need to query the other books again because I am not a great query writer.

Hmmmm

This industry is soooooooooo subjective that I thin the key is to query query query them all and then the key is to KEEP MOVING FORWARD and KEEP WRITING THEM THAR BOOKS....

And now back to playing....

Revision Prep

I'm already eager to read through my critique partner's comments for the third book. I can't wait to chomp into the book again and polish it.

Do I have any high hopes for finaling in the Golden Heart. Nope. Not after the crap contest results I got about one scene in the beginning. Sure, the writing was solid, craft was solid, and the pacing was solid, but the guy comes off like a "rutting deer" to quote one judge.

I'd struggled with that first encounter. It actually was much spicier and I took out all of the racier elements, leaving a kiss only. But apparently, that came across as "sleazy." DARN IT.

If it weren't for that, I think I might have finaled.

Oh well. But on the off the chance that my GH judges can look past that issue, I must polish the MSS for the GH before March 31's deadline.

But that happens next week. This week I play.

Time to Play

I am taking a week off of writing to play tourist in my own city with my friend. We're heading out for a walk, going to see the sights and traveling to other cities near by to explore them.

It's a well-earned reward and I am truly looking forward to it.

Meanwhile, the book is percolating.

And I am looking forward to revising it!!

Early Morning Musings

This morning I drive to Nashville to pick up a friend and have her come spend the week with us. I'm looking forward to the break from intensive writing and from my brain constantly mulling over the story.

Because now my inner editor is screaming to get out and fix the story. And of course, she's found pleny of holes to plug, dilemmas to solve and issues to iron out.

And she hasn't even read it! Well, but then the inner critic's voice has been silenced with duct tape and she's been pushed into a closet all week. Now she is out and she wants to be heard.

And that is a good thing. Sort of. For now I have removed the bindings and I am listening to her suggestions and her ideas and jotting them down in my story notebook.

It's a relief to know I don't have to fix it yet. And the third book needs a go around. A more serious polishing before March 31.

These damn books are never finished. They're ongoing adventures.

And it suddenly dawned on me this morning that if I plunge back into the first book, ever, it can't be about a developer for a construction company.

Bloody economy tanking has flushed that idea down the toilet. So seriously back to the drawing board for that first POS.

Oh, the joys of writing. Really.

Considering the Business of Writing

I'm already chomping at the bit to revise this book, but I am not starting till after I tinker with the third one. Instead, any ideas that float to me, I am writing down in my notebook, or putting on post-its and transferring over to the notebook when I have time.

I must get my third book tighter, fix some trouble spots, and march it out the door in queries to agents and publishers.

I am targeting BLAZE/HQN, and Ellora's Cave, Red Sage, and Avon Red to start. And I need to find some more publisers that will accept unagented submissions and queries. It's so hard. I tried to find out who the editor was for Avon Red, but can't find a portal into that mysterious knowledge. Argh.

It's the business side of writing that drives me crazy. I think I was almost grateful for an excuse not to query as it meant I couldn't be rejected at all last year. I could just write to my heart's content.

Well, head up out of the sand, quick gander around, and back to the dreaded business of trying to get someone with the power to sell my books to actually READ ONE!! Argh. And that means coming up with a witty query, an eye catching letter that stands out from the slush pile, and a good enough synopsis to get someone to say, oh yes, by all means send the first three chapters! Argh again.

I had entered a lot of contests last year in the hopes that if I finaled I would get an editor to read my work. I managed to get one editor in my Touch of Magic contest final, but it was not to be... boo hoo.

This year I am entering contests because they force me to tighten my writing, and to write the dreaded synopsis -- it is like a CURSE for me to compress all my words into 3-5 pages, double spaced. But I will do it.

And I have to wrap my head around all of that in a week.

But for now, I still get to play a bit.

And Now??

I am still flying high about the book being finished. I can't wait to revise it (after I go back into the third one and tinker with it a bit more and query it). Best of all, I feel very strongly about the main characters. They are good people and I believe my readers will, if given a chance to read about them, connect with the story. I know my personal theme, the thread running throughout all my stories.

Home, love, finding that soft place to fall. I believe in it in a fairy tale way, and I know it can continue to happen in a real way if two people are willing to work very hard at their relationship.

After I finished the 4th book, I found myself imagining these two wonderful people AFTER the happily ever after and I smiled.

They'll make it to the end of days because they have learned to love what's inside a person's outer shell.

Isn't that what we all want? Acceptance?

And my darling husband. My first hero, who is by far quite worn around the edges after 23 years of marriage but on the inside he's my Hugh Jackman, celebrated with me last night. He supported me all week with my endeavor. This crazy idea I had that I'd finish a first draft in a week. And that's when one knows one has a great guy or gal. That's the person who slogs along with you when you are in the trenches, and then celebrates with you at the local watering hole when you are victorious.

And we drank champagne, ate lovely appetizers, and I got another idea for a new book.

Life is good.

Book in a Week-Day Seven

I finished. I wrote over 3,000 words, shifted scenes, and got to the end. And she made me cry. she is a great heroine. And he's great, too. And I have 60,839 words to play with and revise. As I was showering today, I got more ideas for the ending, but I resisted. I will play with them over the weekend and get stuff jotted down.

BUT I AM DONE!!!

Happy Dance!!!!

And I learned a very important thing: NEVER give your first draft up to anyone till it IS WRITTEN AND COMPLETED, HOWEVER SHITTY IT IS. NEVER!!

I didn't have the teary moment when I finished number 3... I lost control over the CORE of the story before I finished it.

NEVER AGAIN!!

Any other time, yeah, read on. Critique on. Tell me how to improve it... bring it on during the revisions...

And now I am having my glass of wine and celebrating!!

Book in a Week-Day Six

Well I managed to write 7396 words today and I am very pleased with the direction the story is going. It's traveling in a slightly new direction,but I kept plowing forward and was determined to worry about fixing it later. Now my last third of the book has a lot of highlighted passages, scenes that will need to get shuffled around (notes in the comments section and in all bold all over the place), certain bits are already cut and pasted into the comments section.

I knew I had to stop writing when I neared theclimax/I've got the romantic black moments written down/fragmented at times,but I know where I am going with them/and I have a good feeling about theending. Part of the reason I stopped was that I felt myself rushing. I tend to dothat with my books. I RACE to the end and I don't give my muse time to mullthings over. I need mull time, so I am giving it to myself.I have discovered that my stories are revealed to me in vignettes andcharacter thoughts/motives. It's figuring out where they all fit that Ibelieve is my challenge. I plotted out the story, based on my scene cards,but a lot of new scenes have popped out and inserted themselves into thestory and I know I will be shifting things around. I tend to write dialogue, I like writing a scene by starting withtransitions into it (yeah, I know those will be tightened LOL), a lot of thoughts in the characters' head, and certain scenes have more description than others. I guess I am a smorgasbord writer. Or I write, like I cook. Ihave a recipe, I know the ingredients, I know what the end will taste like, and if I 'm missing something, I improvise with the spices. Now I know I have to go in and change my hero's job, but that's okay.
It makes the story so much better.

BIAW-Day 5

I reached the mid-week hurdle and the worst part was my poor, sore derriere.I had to take my laptop into the living room and sit on the love seat tomake headway. Man, does my tush hurt! Wii balance at mid point today helped(hello? I am the champion of snow boarding now!)I forged ahead and made it through a few sex scenes (usually I write: insert sex scene here and fill in later but hand wave in front of face, why not layer now??), and then I was just so flippin' tired.

But that niggling issue re: my hero's role in the book bugged me to death.So I hopped into the shower, washed my hair with lavender mint shampoo, and voila, the solution arrived. I went to my chair and churned out another2-3000 random words-noted the change for revisions, and voila, I added a total of 6,633 words!

Now, I still think someone should invent waterproof index cards and pens.seriously.

Some of it is not lovely, but it is making me smile. I have a lot of wordsto fix!! And I like that!!

BIAW--Day 4

Today's totals:

*8023 words
*on scene 29
*know I must write in their heads first
*comments section very handy
*very very tired
*final total count over 40,000 words

The beat goes on... and to top it all off, I promised my kid that if I sold three books before her jr. year in HS, I'd send her to England for a leadership program... VERY LONG ODDS!

Book in a Week-Day Three

Well I woke up tired, and my head wasn't at all filled with much of anything, but I didn't let it worry me. I figured something would happen to jog my juices. Just the simple fact of WRITING gives me ideas if I push myself to do it. First breakfast, driving my darling daughter to school to work on a musical rehearsal, then home to write. And I did write a lot. A little over 3000 words in the morning. Then off to Wendy's to get dd a lunch for rehearsal, then home to write again. Wii break... must move... lunch anyone? Is chocolate a healthy snack? Brie Cheese? Well, it worked for me. More writing--more ideas--going with the flow. Added a few scenes not plotted out, realized I love love love to be in their heads (a big No No in contests--very little introspection allowed), and that is revealing so much to me about who my main characters are. What their motivations are, their inner and outer conflicts (I was nursed on original HQNs and learned to chew on Nora Roberts and I love old fiction, Willa Cather and more--so I think my natural writing is about the feelings and thoughts). I'm beginning to understand my people's hearts. Their souls are emerging. And that is why I love to write. I love people. I love to know what makes them tick. Grand totals: over 7,000 words!! Yeah!And I think I am on scene 17 now--I love writing a first draft. I am happy writing it because it is FOR ME. I missed this a lot. I'd forgotten what it was like to write for ME, and no one else!! Between critique partners, contest suggestions, and revisions for a year punctuated only by a move, well I'd forgotten how much FUN it is to write a first draft.

Book in a Week-Day Three

Well I woke up tired, and my head wasn't at all filled with much of anything, but I didn't let it worry me. I figured something would happen to jog my juices. Just the simple fact of WRITING gives me ideas if I push myself to do it.

First breakfast, driving my darling daughter to school to work on a musical rehearsal, then home to write. And I did write a lot. A little over 3000 words in the morning. Then off to Wendy's to get dd a lunch for rehearsal, then home to write again. Wii break... must move... lunch anyone? Is chocolate a healthy snack? Brie Cheese?

Well, it worked for me. More writing--more ideas--going with the flow. Added a few scenes not plotted out, realized I love love love to be in their heads (a big No No in contests--very little introspection allowed), and that is revealing so much to me about who my main characters are. What their motivations are, their inner and outer conflicts (I was nursed on original HQNs and learned to chew on Nora Roberts and I love old fiction, Willa Cather and more--so I think my natural writing is about the feelings and thoughts).

I'm beginning to understand my people's hearts. Their souls are emerging. And that is why I love to write. I love people. I love to know what makes them tick. Grand totals: over 7,000 words!! Yeah!And I think I am on scene 17 now--I love writing a first draft. I am happy writing it because it is FOR ME.

I missed this a lot. I'd forgotten what it was like to write for ME, and no one else!! Between critique partners, contest suggestions, and revisions for a year punctuated only by a move, well I'd forgotten how much FUN it is to write a first draft.

Book in a Week-Day Two

I got up this morning and my head was filled with bits and pieces for various parts of the story. I scribbled them down on post-its, brewed coffee, and poured water, and came into my office. I layered those bits in first, so I wouldn’t lose them, into the scenes where I felt they belonged. Then I went back to the scene I’d planned to start on and started working. I wrote pretty much all day, with a break for Wii twice (must move), and lunch. I poured a glass of vino about an hour ago and plunked onward. I had a few family interruptions (honey where are the donations receipts….for taxes? And by the way I had already given them to him, so he lost them—and what kind of ink do you need??). I managed to help hubby with clarifying that I didn’t have tax receipts, got darling daughter to unload dishwasher, held up hand in silencio when they came near my French office doors and tried to get my attention, and kept plodding on. I fizzled out about now.

So grand totals:
9,067 words
7 scenes since yesterday, one added scene
Have names for hero/heroine (first) and his partner
Have descriptions of her friends on index cards
Have notes for tomorrow
Learned washing hair is really really good for inspiration. I figured out a lot about how she’ll know him. And I am excited about that revelation.
Learned my inner critic turns on in the afternoons and needs LOTS of beatings and time outs—but she can be silenced
Learned that inner motivation and what drives my characters internally needs to be written out and it is my way of discovering who they are—lots of sequel type, introspection, writing and am in their heads a lot—so what if the world wants all the action? I can layer that in later.

Saved it all to memory stick as well as to hard drive.

Day One BIAW

Woke up, had water, coffee and did body test on Wii (yay, the scale is going down!!). Wrote for an hour, went upstairs and did two balance games on Wii. Wrote for another hour. One interuption: flowers for Valentine's Day.

Total writing time: 2.5 hrs.
Total word count: 3,000
Total scenes written: 2

Are they great? No. Are they usuable? Yes.

And I decided my hero is a private investigator. And there is a workshop about that coming up in my local romance chapter, so I can learn about that after the first draft is written.

Now, off to get the day rolling!

Ready, Set, Go....

Today is my last day to "relax" before I start BIAW. Well, relax is a relative term. First, grocery store for the upcoming weekend events and week of writing ahead of me. Second, a long walk and talk with my good friend across the street. Third, laundry (need I say more?), fourth, clean the kitchen, and fifth read through my notes for the writing.

So far, I've managed to get a lot of stuff accomplished regarding my writing goals. Except querying. I think I will wait now till March. I want to have a CLEAR head for the week and if I query book 3, I will have those characters wanting to bust out of my subconscious, not my new characters. So, that one thing did not get accomplished.

But I have managed to get a lot of prep work done, I've gotten my PRO status which will help me in my career--way more opportunities to meet with agents and editors because of the PRO status--and I've found a new place to research cops and robbers. Aha! Perfect for my 4th book.

I have also decided to retitle the third book: Sweet Sensations instead of Too Sweet to Eat. A recipe for sweet sensations... and I think for my query I will write a letter that is more like a back cover on a BLAZE. Seriously, I checked the website at HQN and they still have the sample query from 2004!! That is so old. I want to pep it up a notch.

So, wrote my ideas down, on a post-it. Those seem to work for me. And I'll just pop that into my TSTE novel box and let it "simmer" till I am finished the BIAW.

I'm excited about it. I think it will be a great experience. I've already learned a lot about myself as a writer as a result. The goal is to get FASTER and more efficient in the first draft process. All the GMC and so forth will probably reveal itself to me in revision time.

Forced to Relax

I'm gearing up for the BIAW Intensive writing week, starting this Saturday. Well, I have LIST THIS LONG from toes to shoulders to complete before I am BICHOK in a big way. But all of that went the hell in a handbasket due to a weird allergic reaction while stripping the sheets from the bed. I must have gotten a strange touch reaction to the shellfish in hubby and dear daughter's clothes/bed sheets or something, and I had a swelling lip. I popped two benadryl, called my neighbor and went over to her house to wait it out. Popped another benadryl and now am free of swelling, but unable to stand hardly due to the side effects of the benardyl. It is the worst. Now my entire afternoon of good deeds is SHOT.

argh.

and my plan to start tomorrow is out the window.

STUPID SHELLFISH And really could my people be any more STUPID?????

All I am capable of doing is showering and dressing--maybe.

What a waste!!

Wanted: One Roommate and A New Attitude

I feel ready for the RWA National conference, but I have no one to room with me. Yet. Silly me, I thought the conference would have a mechanism for hooking me up with someone if I put it in my request for the room. But no. Being a "RWA National Conference Virgin" meant learning the hard way that I have to find someone all by myself. YIKES!!! I just moved. I have no one here, but I did put out an all points bulletin to the two chapters I joined down south with a plea for a roommate. My husband, bless him, says we can afford for me to stay on my own, but it feels soooo wrong to spend all the money for myself.

Any way, that lead to feelings of isolation, unwantedness, unpopularity, and .... well .... really stupid and negative brain patterns. At one point, I thought about not going at all. But gosh darned it, I WANT TO GO. I got my PRO pin status and I CAN BENEFIT FROM THIS. And THIS IS BUSINESS, NOT PERSONAL. I'm not going there to win a friggin' popularity contest or drink friggin' margaritas with the gals. NO. I am going to meet editors, agents, LEARN, rub shoulders with people who are there, be inspired....

God, I am such a wuss sometimes.

So now, I am going. Reserved the room, and am crossing my fingers that between now and July 15 I find a roommate. If not, one day I'll lead a lecture saying I funded my first trip to the national conference by paying myself to clean my own friggin' toilets.

Squee!

I am officially a PRO member of the RWA!!!! My application is approved. Now I get all kinds info about the business of publication and first dip into the editor/agent sessions after published and RITA/Golden Heart finalists go in.

It feels attainable!!

Edging Toward Book In A Week/BIAW

Well I am on Tuesday before the big writing week starts. We officially start on Saturday, but that's Valentine's Day and I have a HOD meeting that I want to attend. I figure the most I can write is about an hour or two in the morning. But it's better than nothing. I am also writing Sunday for two hours. Then I'll put the big push in the Monday - Friday of next week. I have about 14,000 words inputed into my scene/sequel pages. That means technically I have 36,000 to go. I plan to add to that a bit this week, but just in case, that means 6,000 per day over 6 days. I think I can handle that fine. It's 6 scenes a day. hahahah time for a hysterical laugh.

I just heard back from my writing buddy re: my third book and she agrees with the judges about the "kiss" scene. It's too bad it's early in the book as that is the only stumbling block to finaling. The rest of the writing is much better, tighter and well-paced. But that's how we grow as writers. We had a good chat this morning about it and I feel ready to fix it in March. Last 50 pages will be tackled first. Then I'll go into the heart of the book.

Meanwhile, back in France... I wish... but I do have a lot I want to accomplish and top on the list is getting the queries out there. I'm tackling that tomorrow.

Today I am reading through my lessons, adding new brainstorming ideas to the scenes and playing around with the story in general. I'll keep plodding along and eventually it will get done.

Now, back to the writing trenches.

Fighting the Twin Demons of Doubt and Fear

I am ready to get rolling on this book in a week and have planned to put out a household memo based on the rules… I already have easy to cook stuff in the freezer and my daughter is so wrapped up in school play rehearsals and dance next week, she’ll subsist on sandwiches for 3 of the days LOL.

I had to fight to get my right brain back in line this week. I got a contest entry result for the third book back via email on Sunday and, tho’ I didn’t final, I did score very well and got some good feedback. The bad part about this is it made me want to A)tinker with the biggest problem both judges saw regarding a first meeting scene between the hero and heroine, and B)all the storyline/characters for the third book came and interfered with this new book. ARGH.

Then the whole, doubt, fear why am doing this when I have to send a kid to college in 3 years and I am not financially rewarded for playing with these stories resurfaced. I was definitely blue. Well, I opened the closet door with all my “successes and reasons why I am cut out for this crazy field” and read my favorite quote by Delle Jacobs and felt a bit better. Then I called a writing buddy and said, look, can you read this for me? And don’t give me any feedback till March cause I can’t think about this book till then. And she agreed to do it. And then I sent it to a good friend who just likes reading my stuff for me, and asked her to do the same.

That helped. And I am querying the book to three publishers this week so I can tell my husband I am at LEAST TRYING to sell the dang thing. How does one explain to one’s people how bloody hard this industry is???? But I will succeed. I have to. I don’t want to wear pantyhose for work unless I am being interviewed by someone about my glorious writing career.

Ah Well--Close but No Cigar

I got back my contest entry for Linda Howard Award of Excellence. I got a composite score of 176, almost finaled! Yeah, but the problem is with my hero and I don't know what to do to fix it. Of course, I am disappointed. But I did get excellent feedback. All 5's on the writing and motivation and the overall craft elements. I also got back an "edited" ms and I am not sure what I am going to do with it. I am SO CLOSE. But I am not there. Yet.

Oh well. I printed it all out, popped into the TSTE box and have emailed my two writing buddies in VA to share with them. I can't really worry about the problems I have to fix with that story. I need to focus on the 4th book and let this one slide away for a bit.

But it is SO FRUSTRATING. Things I cut because of other contests, were asked for in this one. Argh argh argh. I am beyond pissed about that. Mostly at myself. And this is what I sent to the GH, so now I have no hope at all of even coming close to finaling. Or selling this POS. Maybe the next one. Maybe maybe maybe.

And then, talking with the DH, he's like WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS IF YOU PROBABLY WON'T MAKE MORE THAN A FEW THOUSAND A YEAR?? I don't know how to answer that to him. I LOVE writing. But I do want to make some money. I'd be happy if I made a $1000 a year or something. Hell, I'd be happy if I finally got the CALL. But that isn't happening any time too soon.

The good news is that the story can be fixed. It does have very strong elements. SOMEONE MIGHT BUY IT. One day. I told myself 50 or bust. I've got 4 more years to slog away at this. Then I'll have written for 10 years. 7 books, 10 years is the adage. We'll see where I am at that point.

Meanwhile, maybe I can write a movitational lecture for non-published writers about how to get up and face the computer even if no one else reads your shit but contest judges, other writers, and your friends.

Sigh.

Collages and Brainstorming

Yesterday I went online and found a whole lot of pictures for my book's collage. This is a BIAW assignment. I also went to the grocery store and bought some rag mags, and poster board, for the collage. I didn't make it yesterday, but I got about 10 - 15 post-its hanging in front of me regarding setting, character stats, ideas for the character's houses, and a cool idea for a place they will visit. I also know that they'll both be from the NoVA area, and that they moved South as adults. This allows me to have them head north for a trip, away from prying eyes and nosy parkers. And this allows me to utilize old research regarding a winery and bed & breakfast scene. My first book is crap, but I've farmed it twice for research!! Haha. At least it is worth something more than hanging out in a box underneath the bed.

Today's assignment is to write out fears/imagery. I'm sure that will spark some thoughts about the book. I also have more time today to fiddle with the scene cards because my darling daughter has dance and rehearsal after school. I do have to go to the school to pick up her science fair board, but that's a 20 minute distraction.

Feeling good about the story. Wish I could say the same about queries. I need to brush up on them. Big time!

BIAW is so Cool

I have over 30 scene cards to play around with as I approach the first draft writing week. I am adding to them daily. Ideas keep popping into my head. I've learned to keep post-it notes in the bathroom because I tend to get very inspired while showering! It's very exciting.

I haven't done all my check list tasks, but I am edging in the direction of completing them all. Querying is the biggest problem I have. I keep hoping if I win a contest, I'll get the "call." But so far, that hasn't happened. And I am on the fence about entering too many contests. They tend to force one to focus on the first 30 pages and not on the rest of the book. As it is, I feel I must focus on the ending again before I send it out even though I know that the editors of publishing houses request the first three chapters most often, rather than the entire book.

I will continue to enter contests that provide opportunities for solid feedback, offer good final round judges who are editors in publishing houses I am targeting, and my local chapters' contests to support my local chapter. But after that I feel it is a money loser for me. I need to spend my money on stamps and paper for queries.

Checked Off or Continuing On

So far I have completed the following on my list:

#'s 1, 2, 3, 5, 6, 7

Ongoing:

#1, 2, 3, 6, 7

Questions: can I write about anywhere USA in the NoVa area? How make it fresh and real? How many more interuptions will I have this week?

Will I ever be published? Will I ever be in the winner's circle? Will other writers respect me? Ask me to join their groups? How will I fit in?

I feel like such an odd ball out here.

But that's the story of my life.

Getting the Itch to Do More

This week I plan to hit a lot of points with the writing goals:

1) continue building scenes for BIAW
2) continue building characters for BIAW
3) find forms I created for computer docs and start filling in for the big week
4) enter contests
5) enter Pot of Gold and promise to finish two books by December 09
6) continue blogging
7) continue learning about my craft
8) read my RWA Report
9) get hotel room squared away for conference
10) query 3 publishers with 3rd book

That's a lot to do and I am going to do it.