Monday, December 5, 2011

Airing Dirty Laundry

I've been BICHOK for several days to get ready for the Golden Heart contest run by the Romance Writers of America. I have no idea how any of my entries will do--that's luck of the draw with judging. Not every entry finals but that doesn't mean the entry wasn't excellent. The entries that do final deserve to be there, but this contest is as much a golden lottery to me as a real lottery. So many elements have to be in place. I almost finaled last year, but the statistics weighed against me. This year I stacked the deck with 4 and I hope one might make it through the golden gauntlet. I'll write more about that later--in my letter to all the judges--but I'm happy to say that I am pleased with my growth as a writer and the entries. They're solid contenders and have done well in the past.

Moving on--I took a mini break from ALL writing for a few days. I hung out with a friend and went to the Huntsville Museum of Art. It was lovely. I had a great lunch, viewed some amazing exhibits, and deepened my relationship with a new friend. I also went to the state theater competition to watch my daughter's school drama team perform their one act play--so funny-- and they placed BEST IN SHOW and are going to the regional competition in March 2012 in Chattanooga. I'm looking forward to that trip.

So now I'm sort of back in the chair. I have a few stories to polish, one to really polish, and more to do during the month of December. I am not going to push as hard and work as many hours as I usually do, but I am going to work. At least 100 words a day on the weekends and 2-3 hours of writing during the week.

Meanwhile, I promised to air some dirty laundry on today's blog. Here we go:

1. I am nice to everyone I meet, but I don't like everyone I'm nice to. I've just learned to be nice and keep my opinion private and my attitude in public squeaky clean.

2. Sometimes I want to throw in the towel *cliche alert* and just be a mom, a wife, a friend, a sister. I hate that I am working for quarters and I hate that I am always waiting for someone to determine my fate. It's tough. Really tough. But I don't give up because my stubborn side is stronger than my impatient side. So I'm stubborn.

3. The difference between me and a published author is one phone call or email. I put in the same amount of time and the same effort. I think I am a decent writer and if I had an editor to back me, I'd become a better writer overnight. I respond well to direction. I know plenty of published authors who remember being on my side of the fence and who don't think they're better than me as a person because one day the phone rang and they got a contract. I know of a few, a minority, who do think they can treat me differently because they're published and I'm not. And they are not nice about it at all. Of course, I'm nice to everyone I meet. Even them. *evil grin* Any rate, I am a career writer, not a hobbyist. I take this writing gig very seriously. Ask my friends who want to see me or talk to me when I am in full writing mode. They miss me.

4. I am sad that my husband is out of town for 3 weeks during the holiday season. However, I am not sad that I don't have to cook meals for him. I am living on weight watchers frozen meals for lunch and dinner unless I go out with a friend. I am on a diet. This is good. I lost a pound and a half since he's been gone. Yay!

5. I like my wine. I don't limit myself to one chaste glass or two if I'm feeling wild. I drink however much I please whenever I like after a certain time and if I am in a nice restaurant for lunch I'll *gasp* order a glass of wine to go with my meal. I believe it is the only vice I have left to dump and I'm not dumping it.

6. Being alone has its benefits.

7. I know a lot of people but I don't have many close friends. The friends I have are all super high quality people.

8. I don't like to waste my time with idle chit chat unless I'm with people I don't really know very well. Then I am the Queen of Idle Chit Chat.

9. I am very loyal but if someone betrays me I will sever the relationship. I don't hold grudges, but I won't let anyone stomp all over me or use my vulnerability against me.

10. I am a strong person who has had to fight hard for every thing she's gotten in life, but I don't believe I deserve what I have received. I believe I got lucky and that my God is very good to me. And deep down I am just as scared and vulnerable as the person sitting next to me.

So that's my dirty laundry. What's yours?


KarenG said...

Oh man, except for the wine (substitute diet Coke) I could have written this list. (#1 made me smile.) Actually, they all made me smile.

Robin said...

Christine, I so admire your openness and honesty. There are several numbers on your list I identify with too! And since you asked, I'll share one of my own: I'm my own worst enemy. So hard on myself. I'm trying to cut myself some slack more often and wish I liked wine! I bet that would help. ;)

My fingers are crossed for you for so many things, my friend!

Christine said...

Hi KarenG--you and my daughter share a love for Diet Coke. She went to her theater competition with a 12 pack in her suticase :-) Yes, number one makes me smile, too!

Christine said...

Hi Robin: I think the wine does help LOL, but so does having a few really wonderful friends that I can come to any time with who I am at that moment. They are what make the journey a blast.

I think a lot of people are their own worst enemies. Good for you that you're battling this and taking a stand for yourself.

And I wish many wonderful things for you in the future, too. Here's to RWA #12 being a special one for you and me!!

Pam Asberry said...

I *LOVE* this post, Christine. I could relate to every item on the list except the husband out of town. Your grit and determination always inspire me. I'm going to pour myself a glass of wine right now and drink a toast to *YOU*! :-)

Christine said...

Hi Pam: I am glad you liked the post. I think if we are honest with ourselves we get more done in life. I will raise a glass of wine tonight and toast you, too!! You are a wonderful person and I know 2012 will bring you many good things.


Anne Gallagher said...

Funny you should mention the theatre awards. Our school, won
best in state as well, and I even won Best Female Lead the year I graduated. My one big accomplishment in high school.

And I have to ask -- are you a Taurus, because your list sounds exactly like me.

And being from the South, do you say "How nice" or "Bless your heart" to people you don't want to be nice too? That seems to be the catch phrase where I am.

Christine said...

Hi Anne: My husband is a Taurus and I am a Capricorn. Both are Earth signs so we have a lot in common. Mainly being stubborn LOL. They say "Bless her/his heart" or "bless your heart" down here when people really don't like someone or something. I'm not originally from the south so I use a "smile and wave" technique. I just am nice and if I don't like someone or something I just say nothing at all. Speaks volumes at all the right and in all the right situations.

And congratulations on your HS achievement!! My daughter was thrilled and we are so excited for them. :-)