Retro Blog: Fate, Fortune Cookies, and Faith

On May 30, 2013 I got the call from my editor at Entangled Publishing. This blog first aired June 5, 2013. Now I am poised to release my debut novel THE MAVERICK'S RED HOT REUNION on June 30th, 2014. It's a dream come true. Here's the story about what happened on May 30th, 2013. 

I got what we writers like to say is "The Call." In my case it was an email. And I was sitting in my trusty Ford Escape getting ready to go to my morning Zumba class when it arrived on my iPhone. So what did I do after my new editor at Entangled Publishing sent me the email that stated my manuscript was approved?

Frankly, I trembled. It was unbelievable, surreal even, after all these years of seeking a home for my stories.

I emailed her back-thanked her so much and then I forwarded it to the Physicist and my critique partners, Sharon Wray, Karen Johnston, and Pam Mantovani. Sharon and Karen have worked with me since 2006 and they're talented writers whom I value beyond measure. Pam and I met through a contest that she was coordinating in 2009: the Maggies for the Georgia Romance Writers RWA Chapter. I finaled that year and the following year I wooed her to become my category romance writing partner. We haven't looked back. She's an incredible writer, a fantastic critique partner, and a dear friend.

I would not be the writer I am today if fate had not lead me to these women. Our relationships are special, and I love them all.

Fate also lead me to a fantastic writing group. The Romance Writers of America. My first manuscript was requested by an editor at Harlequin and then rejected. Rightfully so. It was a hot mess and I needed to learn a lot. But in that rejection, the editor encouraged me to join RWA. So I did. Then I found Karen and Sharon. Two years later, I found more writing chapters with my subsequent move to Alabama. Southern Magic, Heart of Dixie, Music City Romance Writers and Georgia Romance Writers of America have given me so much support throughout these long years. Fate also led me to a fantastic group called GIAMx4 (Goal in a Month) after I emailed the loop's creator about a PRO post. Amy Atwell is a dynamo and I adore her for including me in this group. They are so good to me. Finally, fate also sent me a multi-published author who literally took me by the hand and said she'd read the first three chapters of the book I just sold because she knew how hard it is to get published. I finally plucked up the courage to send her this book and she fell in love with it. Though it didn't suit her publishing house's line, it lead me down an interesting pathway. And her faith in my writing kept me going when times got dark and I wanted to give up writing for a shopping vocation.

But I couldn't quit writing because then I would be--as Sharon so wisely and gently said--rejecting myself.

This brings me in no clear way to Fortune Cookies. For some reason I like saving certain fortunes that come in the cookies. I've kept two in my jewelry box for at least four years. I used one in my short bio because it suits me to a T. I kept the other one because it describes my internal motivation. Here they are:

Your ability to find the silly in the serious will take you far.
Your skills will accomplish what the force of many will not.

There were days when I'd open my jewelry box to get my hoop earrings and heart necklace and I'd read these fortunes just to jump start my day and keep my motivation going.

I came home and showed the College Kid the email who then promptly hugged me three times in a row (a record!) and said she was proud of me. I still get all weepy when I recall that moment. Then it was off to PF Changs because the day I sold to Entangled Publishing, the Physicist and I had already arranged a SWG with one of our favorite couples at the restaurant to catch up. SWG stands for Scotch Working Group. The servers there keep The Marine and The Physicist's  favorite scotch on hand and know them by name. So one minute I was signing a contract and the next I was off to eat Chinese and hang out with friends while the College Kid started fooling around with my Tumblr account to make it look better.

When the Marine and his wife learned the news they were very excited. But really? I was so dazed, I was almost overwhelmed. They insisted on me tooting my own horn a bit. So we had a big piece of cake on the house (because the server was happy for me after they told her I had sold a book). After we ate the cake (which was super yummy and completely sinful) the fortune cookies arrived. We each opened ours and I'm saving them all in my jewelry box. Here's what they said:

You will receive a surprising gift very soon.
You should have a talk with a friend today.
Treasure what you have.
A small gift can bring joy to the whole family.

Somehow, in the dim glow of the low lights at PF Changs these fortunes reflected my entire day. I loved that moment when each member of the table read their slip of paper, then handed me their fortune.

Their friendship leads me to Faith. I could not have gotten to this point without the company of faithful friends and without faith in something greater than me guiding my destiny. My family, my dearest and oldest friends (two who read the first ill-fated manuscript and encouraged me to go forth), my new friends, my Zumba Sisters, my writing friends, my awesome critique partners, the mentors and teachers who have guided me (Mary Buckham, Dianna Love, Margie Lawson, Michael Hauge to name a few), the published authors who have given me so much encouragement--all of them have filled my internal faith jar with hope for the future.

And I have a real faith jar. Years ago someone gave me a prayer jar. You write down your prayers on slips of paper and date them, then you put them in the jar and let them sit there. When things change, you check the jar and pull out the prayers that have been answered. OK, so now I'm crying as I write this because this weekend I pulled out two slips of paper. Here's what they said and the dates they were written:

I  pray that someone will publish my works 2005
I pray for strength to write strong even when I'm not published. 2012

The top of my jar is inscribed with the following words:

Faith is the substance of things hoped for... Hebrews 11:1

It's been a long journey from that first tiny slip of paper to today's new slip of paper. The journey's not over, it's just different. I'm making new connections and finding new friends who are in this extraordinary world that I've just entered. But I'm so glad that the companions I have known throughout my life will be cruising on this pathway beside me. They are why I have the courage to sit down to write stories which believe in the power of love binding two hearts together.

A lot has changed since I first wrote this blog. I lost my dear friend Karen Johnston to an inoperable brain stem tumor in March 2014. I'm grateful that we were able to celebrate my sale last year. She was an amazing person, and I will miss her forever. Still, she's with  me every day in spirit cheering me on with her boundless enthusiasm. And there's been good news despite the sadness that has passed our way. Pam Mantovani sold her first book to Belle Books in July 2013. And Sharon Wray is a Golden Heart finalist for the fourth year in a row. 

One thing that hasn't changed is my faith jar. It still has prayers in it. Slips of paper with bits of hopes and dreams written on them.

The Time Capsule: Opening Up 2000 in 2012

Me and the College Kid with the Time Capsule

 Twelve years ago we made a Time Capsule and we have carried our makeshift tube of information from Virginia to Alabama with the express purpose of wanting to open it on New Year's Eve in 2012. To be honest, I was a bit nervous about opening it. We each had put in a goal and resolution which I thought I'd probably not achieved. The thoughts of facing that unmet goal freaked me out. Still, I had to face this capsule even if it meant facing my failure. Because only through trying and risking failure will we find success.

Where's the Polly Pocket?(College Kid retrieved it a few years ago).

The College Kid was in first grade when we made the capsule. She loved Polly Pocket and Disney and exploring. The Physicist was growing his career with the government. I was a Stay-at-Home Mom with dreams I'd yet to fulfill. But being a mother and handling all the Commander-in-Chief House duties kept me busy and happy.

Throughout the years many things changed. Three of our parents have passed away. Friends have passed away as well. We moved to Alabama and I'm still adjusting to the changes. My daughter grew up and flew away to college. My husband's career rose which means he's traveling more and more. And I have been actively pursuing my elusive dream of publication.

 The College Kid and I opened the capsule. Inside there was a newspaper with a headline about the Baltimore Ravens's push for the Super Bowl. Political news about Clinton also screamed in the headlines. The Polly Pocket my College Kid stuffed in there had been retrieved--she confessed--shortly after she had stuck it in the capsule. And there were three single sheets of paper with our hand written notes.

The more things change, the more they remain the same:
The Physicist's resolutions match in 2000 and 2012.  

 Here is the Physicist's page. His favorite character was, and still is, Bugs Bunny. His favorite singer was Garth Brooks. His favorite TV Show was Who's Line is It and Golf. Who's Line is canceled. Golf, unfortunately--or fortunately--depending upon who you are in this house, is not. He still works for the same company. And he makes a bit more money now. His new year's resolution is the same this year as it was in 2000: Lose weight and get into shape. Maybe this will be the year he conquers that beast!

And so the more things change, the more they remain the same for him.

As usual, I'm introspective,
but when I read this I was happy with how far I'd come.

She still wants to be a Disney Imagineer.
Dreams evolve, but they never have to stop being dreams.

Next up? My sheet. Favorite books? I still love Nora Roberts and just about any Harlequin Presents book I can get my paws on. My ambitions were simple: become a travel writer and/or write one book (maybe). Becoming a travel writer was laughable. I am so not a detail oriented person and setting is to this day my last layer of writing in my manuscripts. But did I write that book? Not that year. But I did write one in 2005 and I haven't looked back. I started small and I've grown. My new year's resolution: to become focused on my personal and academic growth as a writer. To have a better sense of who I am and where I am going and how I am getting there. Pretty introspective. But I do know who I am now. I am a writer. And I know where I am going. And my goals have gotten much more refined throughout the years.

I saved the College Kid's page for last. For she wrote it when she was so young and her life was just an acorn waiting to become a tree. Her favorite singer was Britney Spears, she loved watching The Wild Thornberry's, and her favorite movie was the current Disney film The Emperor's New Groove. Now she's into indie music, Super Natural is her favorite television show (and other creepy shows, too, like American Horror), and she's into watching endless hours of Lord of the Rings and Harry Potter. Her resolution was smart: to go see Opa and Oma. And she did see them. And finally, her dream. What did she want to be when she grew up? An animator. You know what? That has evolved into becoming an Imagineer for Disney or a Visualization expert for television and film. Her dream evolved, but the core? It's still the same.

So this was our Time Capsule: Dreams captured, careers evolving, people growing and changing. What were your dreams? Did they change? Did you change? And do you believe that dreams can transform you even if reaching them might be impossible?

Tours and Trips and Treats

We've had a fantastic time on our vacation, but now the holiday is drawing to a close. We chose Los Angeles as our destination because the Teen has never been here (other than as a 2 year old in the Los Angeles Airport). She's considering a career as a Disney Imagineer so we thought she should see the west coast which is where the magic happens.

Well we've toured Disneyland and California Adventure and that was fun, but also a bit of compare and contrast to Disney World for us. In the end, we preferred our Florida theme parks. Then we toured two movie/television studios. First up was Warner Brothers. We loved our tour guide and how relaxed the atmosphere was at this studio. We got to see where The Mentalist is filmed on the sound stage, the Friends' television show set, other sound stages and outdoor sets as well. We saw the props area and learned that it is like a huge lending facility for all the studios in the LA area. Then we toured a museum and saw tons of Harry Potter costumes as well as old favorites.

Great tour. Loved it. Well worth the price of the tickets.

The next day we toured Paramount Studios. This tour felt like an Ivy League school tour with a hushed and muckety muck kind of atmosphere. We wore cool little headpieces so the tour guide could talk in normal tones to us, were ushered around all kinds of sets but not able to go inside because they were filming at the time, and sat on Forrest Gump's actual bench--life is a box of chocolates, right? We saw cool film clips of the different movies that were filmed at various locations as well as of different television shows (remember THE BRADY BUNCH and HAPPY DAYS?). We learned about Desi/Lu Productions and got a boatload of information about the lauded history of the studios. This was a good tour, but didn't really give us a nuts and bolts insider look at the process of film making. Personally, I preferred the Warner Brothers' Studio tour much more, but that's a subjective call. If you are interested in all the history and lore and more then this tour might be a better bet for you.

We went to The Grove and were filmed as audience members with Mario Lopez on EXTRA. That was pretty darned cool. Darling Teen was thrilled when he put his arm around her shoulders. I got to stare into his beautiful eyes and *ahem* got a fine view of his derriere. Yes, ladies, he is gorgeous.

We ate a lots of great food all over Los Angeles. The Grove featured a fabulous Greek restaurant. And we wandered through the farmer's market as well. A fun side trip.

We saw all there was to see of Hollywood Boulevard. Grauman's Chinese Theater with the hand and footprints, the Kodak Theater AKA the Dolby theater which featured a movie premiere ROCK OF AGES starring Tom Cruise. We saw all the glamor and all the not so glamorous aspects of the area. Los Angeles isn't particularly beautiful. It has beautiful pockets of wealth and history surrounded by ugly and dirty buildings and streets. We toured the Stars Homes and saw Rodeo Drive, Santa Monica Pier, the beaches, 3rd Street Promenade and were lucky enough to see Mel Brookes eating lunch outside a bistro with his writer friends. Woohoo!!

And cars... lots and lots and lots of luxury vehicles in Los Angeles. BMW, Mercedes Benz, Rolls Royce, Porsche, Lambourghini, Ferrari, uber expansive SUVs and Land Rovers... I can't tell you how many we counted in a block radius, but the status symbol addiction is alive and well in Los Angeles. The wealth is unbelievable. So is the poverty. Homeless people walk the streets alongside the parked luxury celebrity cars.

So now our journey draws to a close. We are spending one more day in the area and will travel up the coast line to share the vistas with our Teen. Has she fallen in love with the Hype and Mystique if Los Angeles? Nope. Not in the least. But if she could get her dream job here and afford a box in a faraway subdivision of the area, she'd move here in a heartbeat.


Los Angeles is where the magic is made--the land of smoke and mirrors. A dreamer's delight if one wants to become the next star or writer or producer or director. The trick is to get there and beat out all the other wannabes because this city is filled with dreamers and people with lost dreams. For every star that is born here, there a hundreds of waitresses and waiters and tour guides hoping to break into this industry. The talent is amazing. The opportunities to succeed will take tenacity and lots and lots of luck.

So we're homeward bound. And you know what? I'm glad. I miss my world in Normal USA.

Resolved to Battle the Demons of Fear & Doubt

Usually when I say I will embrace positivity and all things light and wonderful a serious case of doubt, fear and anxiety follows. Despite knowing that the universe will challenge my resolve, I continue to state my desire to be positive and conquer the beast.

Why? Why do I risk this battle? This battle which will call into question my belief in myself and my drive and my hopes and my dreams?

I wish I had the answer, but I don't. I just know that I do enter into these battles almost as right of passage. It's as if I must call into question my resolve to succeed in order to prove to myself that I will not let the dark days kill my passion for writing and crafting books.

The Physicist has wisely learned to nod and say nothing when I wage these wars. I will be honest here: I'm not quiet about it. My CPs have learned to let me rant a bit and nod their heads then say it is the nature of the beast. My beast, my achilles heel is my impatience.

I am not patient. I like answers, results, follow through information in a timely manner. That being said, the flip side of this is that I provide all the above in a timely manner. I am fast, efficient, organized, driven, reliable, committed to giving my best. So if you hire me, you'll get a great worker. Or writer (hello? publishing world? can you hear me now?). Give me a deadline and I will meet it barring death or major catastrophe.

Trust me on this. I won't let you down.

But the writing world doesn't operate on Christine Time. It operates on a time wheel which I have yet to understand. I don't like this time wheel. It's maddening to me. And waiting. Oh, the endless waiting and waiting and waiting drives me insane.

Over the weekend--after embracing positivity--I had a huge meltdown over it. By Sunday I was ready to QUIT. Yes. QUIT. Seven plus years--four of them extremely high paced--of shooting for the stars, the moon, the sun. Countless dollars spent on conferences, contests, classes, workshops, membership dues, travel, proper clothing, paper, pens, office equipment, gas, hotels, postage. Hours upon hours slaving over stories that might never be read.

It all seemed like a grand waste of my time on Sunday. I ranted about my frustration. My beasts of fear and doubt raging through me and out of me in great bursts. I rebelled. I began shopping on-line. I went to stores and looked at pillows. I did anything BUT the writing.

The Physicist just nodded. He didn't try to fix it (good man that Physicist). The CPs just texted me with little one liners and LOLs and gentle reminders about how I can't control anything but the writing and submitting. And then I came to meet myself in the mirror of all my angst and anger and anxiety.

And I said to myself, OK, you've hit the lowest point. Now what? Well, there's nothing else for me folks.

I have to write. I can't not write. I want to win. I will find a new way to achieve my goals while continuing to work on the manuscripts. I will surround myself with positive, loving, understanding people who GET ME and MY DREAMS. I will not give up despite my weaknesses as a person and a writer.

I do embrace positivity. I also embrace the fact that sometimes I will need more than my own will to get through the dark days. I will need my friends and my support system in place.

Surround yourself with people who support you. Don't just embrace positivity. Embrace people who can be positive FOR YOU.

The Top 5 Priority List Times Two & Professional Goals for 2011

On Wednesday I realized I needed two top 5 priority lists. One list for my personal life and one list for my professional life. At what point did that change? There wasn't one point. There were tiny steps made along the way and they built into a mad dash. What started as a dream five years ago has slowly evolved into more than a dream. 


It is my reality.


What is your dream? What steps will you take to make it become a reality? I've shared my ways and the lessons I've learned from other great mentors. I credit Cheryl Richardson's LIFE MAKEOVER book for helping me to focus on the core of my dream. I challenge you to find your core this year. Find a way to make your dream become your reality. Start taking those baby steps. And please share them with me. Remember, what is working for me won't necessarily work for you. But the deal is to figure out what will work for you and live your life with intention and purpose.


This year's top 5 lists for the quarter and my affirmation statement are:

I enjoy being organized and streamlined as I focus on pursuing my professional writing career, personal, and family life goals. 

Top 5 Family Priority List for 2011/First Quarter (Jan.-March)

1. Continue building a healthy lifestyle through exercise, diet and fun.

2. Darling Teen's extra-curricular, education and college preparation under control in areas of online courses, parking, room fix, school trips and testing.

3. Household chores streamlined and a grid made to which all will adhere to help me keep house clean and under control.

4. Create a Comprehensive Schedule based on career and personal obligations to incorporate goals and life events.

5. Build a social community of friends which will enhance our family and marriage as well as bring joy into our lives.

 Top 5 Career Priority List for 2011/First Quarter (Jan-March)

1. Write every day and work on four book series with emphasis on first book.

2. Schedule built to incorporate writing, volunteer, marketing, building brand name, and business objectives.

3. Professional development through querying, submitting materials, entering contests, learning technology, building brand name, ongoing craft classes.

4. Maintain online workshop information/courses, develop personal and prof. blog schedule, send one newsletter article in per month to HOD Newsletter editor.

5. Attend at least two chapter meetings per quarter regardless of chapter to maintain positive writing connections.

PROFESSIONAL WRITING CAREER GOALS FOR 2011

*clean and organize office to get ready for the new year

*Finish discovering 4 book series and characters

*Write 5^th book 1^st Draft and Revise

*Start work on 6th book in 4 book series/Discover/Draft/Revise

*Query 10 agents a month

*Revise 4^th book full and resend to agent

*enter 4 contests at a minimum with at least 3 manuscripts at all times including the GH

*Attend Moonlight & Magnolias

*Attend RWA National Conference

*Pitch at both conferences

*Revise 1^st book for fun

*build name bible of all names I’ve used in my books

*maintain personal and guest blogs

*continue learning about WordPress

*build my brand name via social media, newsletters and workshop

*work on retreat idea with writing friend

*get an Agent

*get a publishing contract

*find a professional mentor

*streamline writing and business of writing with proper schedule

*Review digital and e-publishers for submissions

*take at least two master classes in craft

*judge at least two writing contests

*set Top 5 Priority Lists and review every quarter

*coordinate online workshops for HOD

*read for fun

*continue learning and growing in my craft with online courses and craft books.

*attend at least 2 chapter meetings per quarter

*finish WE ARE NOT ALONE

*send in one article per month to my HOD newsletter editor

*be courageous, strong, and focused in pursuing my dreams and goals.

The last goal is my favorite. Be courageous, strong, and focused as I pursue my dreams and goals. 

I wish you all the same as you pursue your goals and dreams. Be courageous. Take risks. Fly. Soar. Be strong. Build a network of support. Gird yourself with knowledge. Be focused. Put your dream first and make it a reality. 

And know that one's definition of reality is personal and fluid.

May 2011 be your year to shine!

New Year's Eve Goal Review

Every year I set new goals for myself and for my writing. I posted my writing goals for 2010 on this blog along with my focus statement and my Top Five Priority List. You'll see that again in the New Year. But for now, I want to check my list to see how well I did in 2010. 

My Writing Goals for 2010

*finish 4th book revision, possibly make it a single title DONE

*enter 4 contests at a minimum with 4th MS, including the MAGGIES and GH DONE

*start fifth first draft of story plotted loosely during a writing workshop DONE

*work on fifth first draft during TOUR DE FORCE in February STARTED IN NOVEMBER 

*write every day except for high days DONE

*continue querying agents and editors with 3rd MS DONE

*send partial request and synopsis to agent for 4th MS DONE

*maintain daily blog REVISED TO 3X A WEEK

*continue guest blogging on Romance Magicians DONE

*judge writing contests DONE -- judged 3 that I can remember

*attend Moonlight and Magnolias Writing Conference DONE

*attend RWA National Conference DONE

*pitch 4^th book at both conferences DONE

*help with PRO Retreat DONE

*continue learning and growing in my craft with online courses and craft books DONE

*read for fun DONE but would like to increase time spent reading for pleasure

*get a domain name DONE 

*coordinate online workshops for the Heart of Dixie DONE

*find a co-chair for the online workshop coordination DONE

*work on YA idea over the summer Played with the YA idea on Scrivener

*realize that life happens and enjoy the detours Yup, done!

*set top 5 priority list and review it regularly to maintain my focus DONE

*be courageous, strong and focused on my dreams and goals DONE

Wow, I accomplished almost everything I asked myself to do this year. I love this list. And I love all the DONEs. These were reasonable and attainable goals. I can't wait to see what my list looks like in the new year after I sit down and think about 2011. I'm excited about all the upcoming possibilities and new directions I will go as a writer. 

What goals did you set for the year? Did you revisit them? If you haven't set goals yet, I encourage you to write them down and post them somewhere (publicly or privately). Share your victories and celebrate your successes. 

Focus on what you have accomplished this year and reward yourself for all your hard work.

And now it's time to usher in another new year with some champagne and dark chocolate.


Seekerville Goal Setting Post
Word Wenches Procrastination Post

Rewards & Positive Reinforcement--Even When You Don't Succeed

I didn't grow up in a household where there were a lot of rewards for good behavior. And we sure weren't rewarded for trying to be good either. So I came to this little idea of rewarding myself for not succeeding very slowly.

Apparently cleaning bathrooms after finishing a major project is not considered a reward. This is how well-trained I was not to get something good even when I deserved it for all my hard work.

But that is just stinky. Literally. Who wants to clean house after they've finished a paper, written a book, painted a picture, applied for graduate school, graduated from college, and the list goes on. I've learned to give myself breaks, but I had to teach myself to give myself rewards.

Kelly L. Stone articulated that precept for me at the GRWA Moonlight & Magnolias Conference in Atlanta, Georgia. She gave me a few new ideas about how to reward myself while I am working toward a goal. I came home from the conference and implemented one. A successful author pays herself a quarter every time she meets her word count for the day. I decided to make a Reward Jar and got $20 in quarters to fill it.

Note: It'll take a LOT of those rolls to fill my cutesy decorated tin can!

Any rate, I modified the reward system to include meeting every goal I set for the day as a writer (I might add exercise to that because I have been slacking off--which is a post for another day). So if my goal was to get a submission ready, a contest entry ready, a chapter read in my media book by Kristen Lamb, or my homework completed in the Alexandra Sokoloff online workshop I'm taking then I drop a quarter into the jar every time I meet the goal.

Another thing I've done is reward myself for having tried and failed. As a writer I must put myself out there all the time with query letters, sending out partials, full manuscripts and entering contests. I am not really into the administrative end of this business, so it is like poking a fork into my eyeball to do these things. I'd rather write my stories or blog than do it. Seriously. But the work must be done. The possibility of rejections must be faced.

So here's how I cope. First, I get a quarter for completing the task. Then I devised a system for rewarding myself if I didn't get the answer I wanted (BIG YES or YOU FINALED!!). I pay myself for not getting those answers. Yup. Now these numbers can be adjusted to be coins, less money, more money, Hershey's kisses--you get the picture.

Here's my payment scale:

Rejected Query? $1
Rejected Partial? $5
Rejected Full? $20
Didn't Final in a Contest? $5

So last week I didn't final in a contest. BOO. That stinks. I was down in the Personal Pity Party dumps. But then I remembered I got to pay myself $5 for not finaling. That brought a smile to my face. Yay! I put all the money I pay myself into a pretty box on a shelf in my office. It's up to you where you put your money (or Hershey's kisses). I am saving the quarters till I have too many to count, rolling them and putting them in the box as well.

What am I saving this money for? Anything to do with my writing--nice dress for an awards ceremony, shoes, dinner with writing friends, etc.

Now if you're not a writer and you're pursuing another goal or dream, you can modify this little reward system to suit your dream's not-so-happy days. For instance, if you are trying to get into university you can pay yourself for every application you send (a quarter cause those apps are expensive), for every study session you take for the SAT/ACT, for every interview you go on, for every college you tour, and for every good grade (say a B or better).

But hey? What if the college doesn't accept you? What will you pay yourself for trying so you'll try again?

See? This system takes the sting out of not getting what you want and gives you motivation to try again.

Try it. In fact, give yourself a quarter for reading this blog today!

Fabulous Friday Blog Roll

This week I am celebrating group blogs I reward myself with after I meet my writing goals.

1. Romance Magicians: I'm a part of the Southern Magic blog and love to read their stories.

2. Seekerville: Really inspirational group of authors.

3. Petits Fours & Tamales: Great book reviews, charity events, and more inspiration for me.

4. The Blood Red Pencil: To feed my writing brain with good info.

5. The Writing Playground: Heart of Dixie authors with fun posts.

Positive Peer Pressure

You've embarked on a journey toward a goal. One you believe in and want to achieve. You tell someone about your dream. That person laughs, asks if you are crazy, rains on your parade and tell you it is unattainable.

Now, if you are a 70 year old and you've just told your wife you're thinking about becoming a circus high wire act despite the fact that you have no coordination then you might deserve the above scenario.

Yes, dreams should be realistically attainable.

If your dream is realistically attainable, and someone in your life says you shouldn't try to attain this dream, then you need reevaluate your relationship with that person.

Tip for the Day: Surround yourself with positive, supportive people as you pursue your dream. 

I wrote about my own journey from solitary writer to writer with a wealth of support here. I've heard the negative comments. One close relative said "you'll never get published" when I told her I was writing a book. Do I share my dreams with her now? No way because I believe I will get that call. But it's more than my own faith in my dream. I want the people in my life to be excited for me because I'm doing something I love. It feeds my soul in ways that I never expected. The end result? Publication? That's just part of the dream. I am living my dream. I am a writer. I write. I am happy because I am writing.

Here's the thing: people who are negative about your dreams and your goals aren't happy so they don't want you to be happy either.

Trust me. I've learned this lesson and it has served me well. I repeat: when someone is mean or nasty to you and rains on your parade it is because that person doesn't want you to be happy and fulfilled.

I am writing because it brings me joy. Sure there are days that I want to drop kick my laptop to the ends of the earth. I get frustrated. I feel the sting of rejection and throw personal pity parties (for a finite amount of time), but I keep on writing because that is when my positive community of support comes into play. These are the people who remind me about how much fun it is to do what I do. They encourage me. They lift my spirits. They make me laugh. They drink wine and eat dark chocolate with me while they tell me YOU WILL SUCCEED.

Surround yourself with positive peers who celebrate your dream and encourage you to keep working hard to attain the prize you seek. These are the people who must be in your world as you pursue your dreams. They are the people who want you to be happy and fulfilled. They are the people who want you to have joy in your life.

And when you reach your dream? They will be first in line to celebrate your victory!

My Father's Daughter

I am a bit emotional about the Maggies and the whole editor/agent appointments and how cool everything is for me.

Why?

Well it's an incredible high, no doubt. But for me it is a revisit of past haunts and memories. The emotional highs are punctuated with memories that bring tears.

Tears. Or tears that rip my soul? Apart? Not. But the truth is I don't have the perfect life background. In fact, I tried to write a nice mommy in my second and third books and I got a "flat heroine."

Hey, it was fiction. I had a fantasy. But can I write a girl from a nice background with uber supportive parents? No. May I? No!!! I may not.

The good news is once I heard from my critique partner "what a mean mother" and all along I thought "she was rather nice." I knew. I knew I could not write that fantasy.

Write what you know? Yes. And I do write stories with a whole lot of sass with a pinch of sad.

But I am not capable of writing a girl from a "normal" home. Didn't have that....

So why the father's daughter? Because my dad was an intellectual. He introduced me to John Steinbeck, Tolkien, C.S. Lewis, and more. He introduced me to great Canadian and British writers like Graham Greene and Robertson Davies. He taught me to read history and appreciate the stories. He was interested in those things and I, in my quest for his approval and the love of a parent, read and absorbed the books he recommended.

But there was another entity: my mother. Her jealousy, her mental weirdness, her inability to celebrate me and nurture me led me down a path that didn't reflect my father's influence. I spent much of my early life scrapping for recognition and scrambling for sustenance.

I was on my own at 16. Long story and the details don't matter. But it was easier than living with her and absorbing her negative poison. But in order to feed myself, I also quit high school so I could work full time. It wasn't long before I escaped the horrid northern Canadian mining town I'd lived in for nine nasty years.

I got my GED on my own (well I did have a PhD student in Physics help me with the math part) . I got my college education thanks to my husband paying the bill. I graduated Summa cum Laude at the top of my class, but I'd already parked my dreams of becoming a writer or a foreign journalist eons years earlier.

Fast forward.

I got lucky and God intervened (for me this is a truism). I worked, I gave birth to a beautiful daughter, I became a SAHM, and I built my life. It was a good, happy time.

But I still wanted to know my dad and have him back in my life. So as an adult, I accepted my mother and her poison and welcomed them into my life. I wanted my history, my good parts of my past restored to me and I yearned for my Darling Daughter to know him, to have my husband know him and to extend the conversation my father and I started when I was a child.

Then daddy got sick. And a month before he died in 2002 he said to me, regret in his eyes, "I'm sorry but it is too late for you to be a writer."

And he meant it kindly. He said it cause he needed absolution and needed closure before he passed away. I gave it to him. I loved him--and at the time I agreed. Heck, life was good and I was glad to be where I was. My life was (and is) GREAT! And I told him I was okay. And I meant it.

But now, here I am 5 years later with 4 books under my belt, two requests, a Maggie finalist, and I have hope to one day be published. But this is the greater victory, I AM A WRITER. It is not too late.

And that is when my tears flow, because even though in my heart I believe he knows I am a writer, I really wish I could I share these amazing moments with him.

I did it! Me! A high school dropout on her own at 16 years of age grew up to become what I always wanted to be. A writer. Nothing can take that accomplishment from me.

Forced into Nothingness Equals Learning about Somethingness

I haven't done any writing in a while, or any organizing of my writing in a while, but I have managed to read and digest a lot about marketing my writing.

It's daunting. But it's also forced me to think about a lot of ways to approach this process when I return from our vacation. For several years, I'd not considered E publishing because too many people said there wasn't any money in it, or it would not be recognized by RWA as valid. I focused primarily on HQN, AVON, and other largers houses' red lines/steamy lines. But I'm rethinking it all.

Why not go for the two or three e publishers, one in particular, who are recognized by RWA and who are just now branching out into the print world? The truth is, I can't see why not? As long as I see some of these e publishers in the first sales section of the RWReport, then they are recognized. And isn't that the point? Getting published is part of the writing process.

The other thing that occured to me is that if I can get my foot into one door, then there's a good chance I can get my foot into more doors and swing them open as well. It is a numbers game. And my numbers for attempts at publication have dropped to zero in the last twelve months (with good reason--hello? can we say move?). Now I need to amp them up.

If I can get my goal of 3 working first drafts going per year and increase my production levels, then I'll be able to work in three levels of the business, four including the classes I will continue to take throughout the year.

Level 1: Write New Books--it's key. If I don't produce, I have nothing to sell
Level 2: Revise Existing Books--an important ongoing element that is very different from first draft writing.
Level 3: Market/Query/Enter Contests: I consider this the selling element of writing. But I am cutting down on the contests. The contests must provide great final judges, editors in the final round I am targeting, and/or an opportunity for excellent feedback. Querying is essential. I must do it more often and to more houses. Marketing is querying along with polishing what I submit.
Level 4: Learning to Improve My Writing: always a must. On-line classes, bootcamps on PRO, attending as many chapter meetings as I can if the topics are relevant.

If, out of all this hard work, I get published by the time I am fifty, I will be very pleased. I have four more years to achieve the goal. Then I'll have done it for ten years. Actively for five. At that point, much will depend upon finances. Do I continue chasing a rabbit without compensation just because it is my dream to write? Well, I don't know. I am driven to write. I want to write. But at a certain point, I may reevaluate where to put all this talent and energy.

Or I may not.