I wrote this blog June 9, 2010. As my writing career begins to transform into one that includes lots more writing, revision passes, marketing and promotion of THE MAVERICK'S RED HOT REUNION, and my ongoing volunteer activities, I needed this reminder to slow down every once in a while and just breathe.
People's lives are busy. Some people actually define their lives by saying, "I'm so busy, or too busy or these are busy days." They revel in the busy-ness of their lives. They revel in the going out and about to do a zillion errands, or projects, or luncheons. They revel in being seen as "busy." Busy-ness defines their lives.
But sometimes I wonder if these people who are so "busy" are actually just avoiding themselves. Avoiding personal introspection. Avoiding examining who they are, or where they need to go. Other times I wonder if these busy people are busy because it makes them feel important. The busy-ness defines them.
Ever met somebody like that? I've met a few. I may have actually been guilty of committing the act of "busy-ness" myself. Heck, I was young once. I did my fair share and plus of extra work when I was employed outside the home and afterward. I remember an incredibly intense time after I became a Mom where I spent about 6 or 7 years volunteering in the school, the church, the neighborhood--basically did it all. For free. But then I think part of my motivation was the free babysitting *grin*.
Yup. I was a "busy" person. And I knew a lot of "busy people." It wasn't until I was forced to sit down and take stock that I truly began my inner journey. I admit that I was a self-help book addict for years. Heck, with the crazy dysfunctional background I came from, who wouldn't be? But I never really examined who I wanted to be until I couldn't be out in the world being, well, you know, "busy."
Yup. I couldn't be busy because I got this weirdo bug in my ear that made me dizzy. Beyond dizzy. I had a serious cases of perpetual vertigo. It was the kind of vertigo that made me sick, caused blackouts, and had accompanying bouts of tremenous heat and frightening moments of disorientation. The only way to beat it back was to STOP BEING SO BUSY.
I was felled by a tiny bug in my inner ear for 6 MONTHS.
At first I was so sick, I didn't have much energy. I napped. This was unheard of in my house. I am a "get up and go" kinda girl. Naturally, after I had a few months of serious downtime, I got bored. You know boredom is not always a bad thing. Boredom means you're healing. Boredom means your mind is getting ready for the next creative adventure.
Now if a "get up and go" girl can't really, uh, go anywhere in the real world, what is she going to do? Oh, hmmm, any good guesses out there? Oh, yeah. Write. And experiencing that illness is how I rediscovered what I know I was always meant to do. Write. I started to write my first novel. It was an escape, a joyful experience, and I fell in love with my childhood dreams all over again.
That was a wonderful year. The said book was finished, queried and requested by Silhouette Desire BEFORE I even knew about Romance Writers of America, writing craft, Goals/Motivation/Conflict, plots, revising, and more.
Fast forward almost five years. I'm still focused on the writing. I love it. I have four books under my belt (though I call them 8 given all the recent plot revisions), and I am submitting, being requested, and happily involved in all my RWA/PRO/Chapter organizations. I am also blogging, FaceBook connecting (imagine if they'd had Facebook back when I first got DIZZY? I might not be writing because I'd be "busy" connecting with my social network), TWEETING, helping with an online workshop, volunteering to help with the PRO Retreat, judging contests, entering contests.... YIKES! I am afraid I might get dizzy again.
And yes, before you ask, I am blonde. Let the jokes begin now.
But I won't get DIZZY. You know why I believe in my heart I won't get dizzy? Because all my "busy" stuff is what I want to do for my career (and my family--which comes FIRST). I have learned the fine art of saying "no." Or better, "let me get back to you about that request after I think about it." Or better yet, "I would like some help with this please."
Most of all, I've given myself permission to walk away from my commitments and take a deep breath. When dinner starts, if the phone rings, I don't answer it. Period. I keep my commitments to a set amount and I don't feel obligated to be perfect (losing perfectionism is a great way to give up the "busy" life). I don't say "yes" to make someone think better of me. And I don't say "yes" to gain approval or puff up my ego. Frankly, I don't consider saying "yes" to anything that does not reflect my Top 5 Priority List.
Ah, the Top 5 Priority List. I shared this list with you in January. I learned about this method of establishing boundaries from a LIFE MAKEOVER book I read when I was dizzy. I reevaluate it every quarter. Usually it stays the same, at least the top 2 items stay the same. The bottom 3 vary depending on season, where I am in my life, and how the rest of the family is faring.
But what is a priority? What does this word mean to you? Here is a brief dictionary explanation:
Priority Defined:
Noun:
*A thing that is regarded as more important than another.
The housework didn't figure high on her list of priorities.
Seriously? It never does figure high on my list of priorities. Sure I want to prevent my toilets from being deemed toxic & hazardous, but if my house is dirty and you want to come over because you're down or need a friendly face, I'm your girl!
*The fact or condition of being regarded or treated as important.
The safety of the country takes priority over every other matter.
Or in my world the health and welfare of my family, and myself, is regarded or treated as important. If I am trying to do too much everyone suffers, including me.
*The right to take precedence or proceed before others.
Priority is given to those with press passes.
Now I love this. The items/things/people who take precedence or proceed before others in my life are my family first, my writing (actual writing, not blogging or stuff of that nature), my health, my dearest friends, my spirit and my soul. Everybody and everything else must wait in line. Period.
This getting your priorities straight isn't a perfect process. Sometimes I revert and nibble off a bit more than I can chew. Usually the first thing that suffers is my health. So I get a pretty quick reminder to get my priorities sorted.
Ironically, my weirdest time to keep my priorities straight is through the summer months. I've got these writing goals, but I scale them back a bit, or make room for flexible writing time, during this time of year. Darling Daughter is underfoot, we've got summer travel plans, and I want to enjoy my family during these lazy days. I don't stop writing, but I do break it up differently. And my priority is to work on my MS or WIP in Revision. If I'm not on Facebook or I miss a blog post, well that means I'm focusing on my first priority: the health and happiness of my family. We're probably at the pool, or shopping, or visiting some museum. And that's okay.
That's the key to maintaining your priorities and boundaries: telling yourself it's okay to let something slide or go slack every once in a while. REALLY!
Here I am 4 years later with even more books written, a publishing contract, the Darling Daughter off to university, and still writing as much as I can every day. I'm involved in the Heart of Dixie's 2014 Readers' Luncheon as the Raffle Basket coordinator and my debut novel releases in June. My priorities are still the same: take care of my health and my family's welfare, write another book, prepare for my career to launch, and then I will work on my volunteer duties. And that means asking for help because I will need extra hands to get this job done.
I will also say "no" to any other requests for my help until I have cleared my plate of the tasks currently at hand.
How do you prioritize your life? Do you say "yes" before thinking it through? Do you say "no" without guilt?
Showing posts with label priorities. Show all posts
Showing posts with label priorities. Show all posts
Wednesday, April 9, 2014
Thursday, February 16, 2012
Getting the Writerly World in Order
This week I have rebooted my goals for the year and prioritized them. I've also figured out the obstacles. Most of them are centered around the household duties and errands I have to perform. I can't do this alone. The Physicist offered to hire a housekeeper, but that's money taken out of the writer pile and we should get this done together. As a team. We'll revisit that one after I get a contract and we see how much the college fees amount to for the Teen.
And speaking of the Teen, she got quite a wake up call after she was Miss Independence Day about her life and me trying to control her. Man, did she pick the wrong day to play the "It's My Life" card. Cause I want a life as well. And you know what, she's right. She should understand the cost of being Independent. She's going to college in August. She needs to learn how to manage things for herself. Therefore, she is officially in charge of her stuff and I will only clean it for a fee. And that's an automatic fee clean. Cause I can't stand smelly clothes and a smelly teen wing with lord knows what kind of crud growing under her bed.
She tried to get things back to the "way they were" but I held my ground. I had my own little Independence Day. I am officially liberated from being the Evil Harping Nag Queen. Why? Cause her fee goes to me and I am motivated to see her not perform so I get $$$ for the RWA National Conference in Anaheim.
I should have thought of this MONTHS AGO.
Any rate, the Physicist is already helpful and he pays the bills with the money he earns so I can't complain about his efforts. I do want a little more help with laundry, but that'll come as I have decided to start laundry when they come home. That way they will at least have to fold and put away for me.
I also realized I have to back down on some of my social media stuff. But that's been in the works for a while. I control the media, it doesn't control me. Amazing what a little time with a James Scott Bell book can do to get my priorities straight. I am stoked about the freedom I've gained by realizing what a drain the household is on me.
So celebrate with me!! I'm have a Writing Revolution! What do you need to let go of in order to liberate your writing time?
And speaking of the Teen, she got quite a wake up call after she was Miss Independence Day about her life and me trying to control her. Man, did she pick the wrong day to play the "It's My Life" card. Cause I want a life as well. And you know what, she's right. She should understand the cost of being Independent. She's going to college in August. She needs to learn how to manage things for herself. Therefore, she is officially in charge of her stuff and I will only clean it for a fee. And that's an automatic fee clean. Cause I can't stand smelly clothes and a smelly teen wing with lord knows what kind of crud growing under her bed.
She tried to get things back to the "way they were" but I held my ground. I had my own little Independence Day. I am officially liberated from being the Evil Harping Nag Queen. Why? Cause her fee goes to me and I am motivated to see her not perform so I get $$$ for the RWA National Conference in Anaheim.
I should have thought of this MONTHS AGO.
Any rate, the Physicist is already helpful and he pays the bills with the money he earns so I can't complain about his efforts. I do want a little more help with laundry, but that'll come as I have decided to start laundry when they come home. That way they will at least have to fold and put away for me.
I also realized I have to back down on some of my social media stuff. But that's been in the works for a while. I control the media, it doesn't control me. Amazing what a little time with a James Scott Bell book can do to get my priorities straight. I am stoked about the freedom I've gained by realizing what a drain the household is on me.
So celebrate with me!! I'm have a Writing Revolution! What do you need to let go of in order to liberate your writing time?
Monday, February 13, 2012
Buzz Buzz Busy Bee Needs to Get More Energy
As I progress further down the road toward my ultimate goal of publication, I have discovered that my energy needs a boost. This writing thing takes a lot of creative energy. There are certain drains to my creative energy. These are my current creative energy drains:
1. Anything Tech--last week I had to go over building my web pages with Florina Craven of THINK FLOW DESIGN. I'm so glad I am NOT trying to build one myself. This requires way too much energy and stops the creative flow.
Lesson: Delegate stuff you hate doing to people who love to do it!!
2. Anything Family: My family is super important to me. I like spending time with the Physicist and the Teen. And the Teen is graduating so there are a lot of holes to plug and t's to cross and i's to dot. This is HIGH PRIORITY. But it is energy draining. My solution? Write when they're not around or go away to write. They can't drain me if they can't find me. It's not selfish. It's self-care. But when I am with them I am fully with them. I'm not disengaged.
Lesson: Schedule writing time to fit your lifestyle demands.
3. Emails/phone calls/social media/blogging all drain my creative energy. I'm easily sucked into the social media world. It is my "water cooler." But I have to put into place rules to maximize the benefit over the energy lost. This means setting a timer, only tweeting and doing status updates during writing breaks, and blogging less. I also don't answer the phone unless it is the school calling. I make phone calls after I'm done working FOR THE DAY. Not during breaks. It is too easy to get sucked into a conversation that lasts too long. The only calls I make during the day are calls which are required by the office hours of medical offices and insurance companies and I schedule them for Mondays. I call them "MEDICAL MONDAYS." Fortunately, haven't had too many of them lately. I am also blogging less. Stay tuned for less of me on the blog and more of me writing books.
Lesson: Use a timer and set a schedule which puts you in charge of social media and phone calls.
4. People. I love people and I have a lot of energy, but I can get drained as well. So I have to pick and choose who I am with and when I am with them. I give myself mini breaks and hang out with non-writing friends between projects and on the weekends. This is a better way of recharging my life.
Lesson: Say no when people want to take up your writing time. Say yes when you have time to socialize. Be in charge of your time and own it.
5. Health. If I'm not exercising and eating right I become grumpy and surly. I need to do both to be a better writer.
Lesson: Take care of yourself or you won't be able to write. Make time for your health. Schedule workouts and plan healthy meals.
It's not rocket science. It's called making your life and your body and your writing a priority for you. And yes, life happens. It does. This morning I had to set aside my goals because the Teen needed help with a printing issue. That's okay. I immediately rescheduled my writing time and will still put in the hours I need to put into the writing later.
Final Lesson: Be flexible and learn to go with the flow and rhythm of the day.
What drains you? What do you do to combat the drains?
1. Anything Tech--last week I had to go over building my web pages with Florina Craven of THINK FLOW DESIGN. I'm so glad I am NOT trying to build one myself. This requires way too much energy and stops the creative flow.
Lesson: Delegate stuff you hate doing to people who love to do it!!
2. Anything Family: My family is super important to me. I like spending time with the Physicist and the Teen. And the Teen is graduating so there are a lot of holes to plug and t's to cross and i's to dot. This is HIGH PRIORITY. But it is energy draining. My solution? Write when they're not around or go away to write. They can't drain me if they can't find me. It's not selfish. It's self-care. But when I am with them I am fully with them. I'm not disengaged.
Lesson: Schedule writing time to fit your lifestyle demands.
3. Emails/phone calls/social media/blogging all drain my creative energy. I'm easily sucked into the social media world. It is my "water cooler." But I have to put into place rules to maximize the benefit over the energy lost. This means setting a timer, only tweeting and doing status updates during writing breaks, and blogging less. I also don't answer the phone unless it is the school calling. I make phone calls after I'm done working FOR THE DAY. Not during breaks. It is too easy to get sucked into a conversation that lasts too long. The only calls I make during the day are calls which are required by the office hours of medical offices and insurance companies and I schedule them for Mondays. I call them "MEDICAL MONDAYS." Fortunately, haven't had too many of them lately. I am also blogging less. Stay tuned for less of me on the blog and more of me writing books.
Lesson: Use a timer and set a schedule which puts you in charge of social media and phone calls.
4. People. I love people and I have a lot of energy, but I can get drained as well. So I have to pick and choose who I am with and when I am with them. I give myself mini breaks and hang out with non-writing friends between projects and on the weekends. This is a better way of recharging my life.
Lesson: Say no when people want to take up your writing time. Say yes when you have time to socialize. Be in charge of your time and own it.
5. Health. If I'm not exercising and eating right I become grumpy and surly. I need to do both to be a better writer.
Lesson: Take care of yourself or you won't be able to write. Make time for your health. Schedule workouts and plan healthy meals.
It's not rocket science. It's called making your life and your body and your writing a priority for you. And yes, life happens. It does. This morning I had to set aside my goals because the Teen needed help with a printing issue. That's okay. I immediately rescheduled my writing time and will still put in the hours I need to put into the writing later.
Final Lesson: Be flexible and learn to go with the flow and rhythm of the day.
What drains you? What do you do to combat the drains?
Monday, May 23, 2011
Crossroads, Forks and Detours: Goals Reevaluated
I'm approaching another end of a quarter and am reevaluating my priorities. I do so every 3 months. I've decided to work up a mini-fix for the month of June because this quarter has been a wild one. I'm only 2 months into the quarter and it feels like it has lasted 6 months! I must step back and regroup so I can strengthen my focus. Basically, I'm de-cluttering my mind of useless stuff so I can tackle the important events coming up this month.
This quarter I started strong with an R&R out the door and the rest of the story to revise. It's been about 2 months since I sent the R&R out and I am in "wait mode." So much of this business is about waiting and being patient, but while writers wait we must do only one thing: write some more. So I finished the rest of the revision, sent it off to my CP, and tackled her critique 3 chapters at a time. I have three more chapters to go and I'm finished this round. That's on the table for the first part of this week.
While I revised this book, I entered another contest (which still requires an entry LOL), learned I finaled in the Fab Five, and attended a great workshop. I returned home in mid-April ready to work my tail off. Then the first detour in my road occurred. Sick kid. Mono. She's been home for about a month and a half now. I've got to admit, it's put a cramp in my writing style. You see, I am a bit spoiled. She's a teenager who drives so I was used to the days being mine to do my work. I had to work around her doctor appointments, caring for her, organizing school work, and canceling a lot of her "life" till she got well.
But as Nora Roberts says, glass balls are more important than rubber ones. My daughter's health, my daughter period, is glass. Fragile, precious glass I cherish. Writing will always come second to my child. Always. She needed me. I was there for her. I still am. I managed to revise a bit more, but a week after my child's diagnosis, the skies opened up and all he!! broke loose in Alabama. 28 tornadoes in 1 day. The most terrifying day ever. I don't think I'll ever forget the sirens, the dark skies, the sudden pop above my head after an eerie silence, or the complete sense of helplessness.
We were lucky. We didn't suffer any damage or injuries and I'm so grateful. But my writing did suffer a setback. Not just because of the time lost, but because my heart was aching. I was sore. Sad. I just wanted to reconnect with my friends. Talk. Sleep. Be still. Pray. And so I did. I gave myself permission to take a bit of a break.
I took a look at the crossroad in front of me and went left instead of right. I enjoyed the journey. I played with a new story idea, came up with plot points, index cards, and just had fun. I ignored the revision for a bit. And that was great. I reevaluated my future writing projects. I relaxed. Well, I relaxed for me. Anyone who knows me knows I am not a "relaxed" kind of gal. In the midst of all of this there was still the sick kid, still the doctor visits, still the desire to create, still the household to keep up, still the new diet to cook dozens of meals for......... and so the relaxation was more of a pit stop here and there punctuated with bursts of work.
Of course, my part of my idea of relaxing was to take a break from revisions and plan a new story. In the midst of story boarding my next novel, I managed to snag a couple of great editor and agent appointments at the RWA National Conference. Usually Nationals are in July, but this year the conference is June 28-July 2. I have very little time to prepare for it because of, oh, the above paragraphs. But that's okay. I can pull it off. I plan on pulling this off after I finish the first draft of my next book, and after I tour two more colleges with my darling teen (who is slowly mending despite another minor health setback).
See, this post is just a rambling thing about LIFE. Life is happening. All The Time. And somehow, we writers, we must continue to write despite the many distractions. And the only way I know how to do that is to have a plan. A map. Of course, the map can't prepare us for every detour and crossroad that comes our way, but it can give us a place to refer to when we get a little lost. And sometimes a new map needs to take the place of the old map.
That is what I am doing this week. I'm gearing up to make a new road map. I'm reevaluating my goals, my priorities, my ongoing "to-do" list.
How often do you reevaluate your goals? Do you tweak them regularly or only change them once a year?
This quarter I started strong with an R&R out the door and the rest of the story to revise. It's been about 2 months since I sent the R&R out and I am in "wait mode." So much of this business is about waiting and being patient, but while writers wait we must do only one thing: write some more. So I finished the rest of the revision, sent it off to my CP, and tackled her critique 3 chapters at a time. I have three more chapters to go and I'm finished this round. That's on the table for the first part of this week.
While I revised this book, I entered another contest (which still requires an entry LOL), learned I finaled in the Fab Five, and attended a great workshop. I returned home in mid-April ready to work my tail off. Then the first detour in my road occurred. Sick kid. Mono. She's been home for about a month and a half now. I've got to admit, it's put a cramp in my writing style. You see, I am a bit spoiled. She's a teenager who drives so I was used to the days being mine to do my work. I had to work around her doctor appointments, caring for her, organizing school work, and canceling a lot of her "life" till she got well.
But as Nora Roberts says, glass balls are more important than rubber ones. My daughter's health, my daughter period, is glass. Fragile, precious glass I cherish. Writing will always come second to my child. Always. She needed me. I was there for her. I still am. I managed to revise a bit more, but a week after my child's diagnosis, the skies opened up and all he!! broke loose in Alabama. 28 tornadoes in 1 day. The most terrifying day ever. I don't think I'll ever forget the sirens, the dark skies, the sudden pop above my head after an eerie silence, or the complete sense of helplessness.
We were lucky. We didn't suffer any damage or injuries and I'm so grateful. But my writing did suffer a setback. Not just because of the time lost, but because my heart was aching. I was sore. Sad. I just wanted to reconnect with my friends. Talk. Sleep. Be still. Pray. And so I did. I gave myself permission to take a bit of a break.
I took a look at the crossroad in front of me and went left instead of right. I enjoyed the journey. I played with a new story idea, came up with plot points, index cards, and just had fun. I ignored the revision for a bit. And that was great. I reevaluated my future writing projects. I relaxed. Well, I relaxed for me. Anyone who knows me knows I am not a "relaxed" kind of gal. In the midst of all of this there was still the sick kid, still the doctor visits, still the desire to create, still the household to keep up, still the new diet to cook dozens of meals for......... and so the relaxation was more of a pit stop here and there punctuated with bursts of work.
Of course, my part of my idea of relaxing was to take a break from revisions and plan a new story. In the midst of story boarding my next novel, I managed to snag a couple of great editor and agent appointments at the RWA National Conference. Usually Nationals are in July, but this year the conference is June 28-July 2. I have very little time to prepare for it because of, oh, the above paragraphs. But that's okay. I can pull it off. I plan on pulling this off after I finish the first draft of my next book, and after I tour two more colleges with my darling teen (who is slowly mending despite another minor health setback).
See, this post is just a rambling thing about LIFE. Life is happening. All The Time. And somehow, we writers, we must continue to write despite the many distractions. And the only way I know how to do that is to have a plan. A map. Of course, the map can't prepare us for every detour and crossroad that comes our way, but it can give us a place to refer to when we get a little lost. And sometimes a new map needs to take the place of the old map.
That is what I am doing this week. I'm gearing up to make a new road map. I'm reevaluating my goals, my priorities, my ongoing "to-do" list.
How often do you reevaluate your goals? Do you tweak them regularly or only change them once a year?
Monday, January 31, 2011
I Interrupt My Regularly Scheduled Blog with a Change in Plans
I had a great weekend in Georgia with my writing friend. There's nothing better than banging out words all day, talking about the words during breaks, hashing out plot problems, and planning our future words. However, all this writing and work on my current WIP along with my early winter travel schedule means I am making a minor change to my blog schedule.
Drum Roll Please
I'm switching my blog days from Monday, Wednesday, and Friday to Tuesday and Thursday postings. This will give me a bit more time to focus on querying and my online class work. DIGGING OUT OF DISTRACTION will continue to feature Debut Novel Interviews with my writing friends, and my own ramblings about life, the universe, and everything (remember Dr. Who? I do!). As always, I hope to give my readers a dash of the silly along with the serious. And finally, I am toying with a Shout Out Your Success feature for the blog.
So stay tuned! This will be a fun year!!
And now? Back to my regularly scheduled writing program!!
Friday, January 7, 2011
The Top 5 Priority List Times Two & Professional Goals for 2011
On Wednesday I realized I needed two top 5 priority lists. One list for my personal life and one list for my professional life. At what point did that change? There wasn't one point. There were tiny steps made along the way and they built into a mad dash. What started as a dream five years ago has slowly evolved into more than a dream.
It is my reality.
What is your dream? What steps will you take to make it become a reality? I've shared my ways and the lessons I've learned from other great mentors. I credit Cheryl Richardson's LIFE MAKEOVER book for helping me to focus on the core of my dream. I challenge you to find your core this year. Find a way to make your dream become your reality. Start taking those baby steps. And please share them with me. Remember, what is working for me won't necessarily work for you. But the deal is to figure out what will work for you and live your life with intention and purpose.
This year's top 5 lists for the quarter and my affirmation statement are:
Top 5 Career Priority List for 2011/First Quarter (Jan-March)
It is my reality.
What is your dream? What steps will you take to make it become a reality? I've shared my ways and the lessons I've learned from other great mentors. I credit Cheryl Richardson's LIFE MAKEOVER book for helping me to focus on the core of my dream. I challenge you to find your core this year. Find a way to make your dream become your reality. Start taking those baby steps. And please share them with me. Remember, what is working for me won't necessarily work for you. But the deal is to figure out what will work for you and live your life with intention and purpose.
This year's top 5 lists for the quarter and my affirmation statement are:
I enjoy being organized and streamlined as I focus on pursuing my professional writing career, personal, and family life goals.
Top 5 Family Priority List for 2011/First Quarter (Jan.-March)
1. Continue building a healthy lifestyle through exercise, diet and fun.
2. Darling Teen's extra-curricular, education and college preparation under control in areas of online courses, parking, room fix, school trips and testing.
3. Household chores streamlined and a grid made to which all will adhere to help me keep house clean and under control.
4. Create a Comprehensive Schedule based on career and personal obligations to incorporate goals and life events.
5. Build a social community of friends which will enhance our family and marriage as well as bring joy into our lives.
1. Write every day and work on four book series with emphasis on first book.
2. Schedule built to incorporate writing, volunteer, marketing, building brand name, and business objectives.
3. Professional development through querying, submitting materials, entering contests, learning technology, building brand name, ongoing craft classes.
4. Maintain online workshop information/courses, develop personal and prof. blog schedule, send one newsletter article in per month to HOD Newsletter editor.
5. Attend at least two chapter meetings per quarter regardless of chapter to maintain positive writing connections.
PROFESSIONAL WRITING CAREER GOALS FOR 2011
*clean and organize office to get ready for the new year
*Finish discovering 4 book series and characters
*Write 5th book 1st Draft and Revise
*Start work on 6th book in 4 book series/Discover/Draft/Revise
*Query 10 agents a month
*Revise 4th book full and resend to agent
*enter 4 contests at a minimum with at least 3 manuscripts at all times including the GH
*Attend Moonlight & Magnolias
*Attend RWA National Conference
*Pitch at both conferences
*Revise 1st book for fun
*build name bible of all names I’ve used in my books
*maintain personal and guest blogs
*continue learning about WordPress
*build my brand name via social media, newsletters and workshop
*work on retreat idea with writing friend
*get an Agent
*get a publishing contract
*find a professional mentor
*streamline writing and business of writing with proper schedule
*Review digital and e-publishers for submissions
*take at least two master classes in craft
*judge at least two writing contests
*set Top 5 Priority Lists and review every quarter
*coordinate online workshops for HOD
*read for fun
*continue learning and growing in my craft with online courses and craft books.
*attend at least 2 chapter meetings per quarter
*finish WE ARE NOT ALONE
*send in one article per month to my HOD newsletter editor
*be courageous, strong, and focused in pursuing my dreams and goals.
The last goal is my favorite. Be courageous, strong, and focused as I pursue my dreams and goals.
I wish you all the same as you pursue your goals and dreams. Be courageous. Take risks. Fly. Soar. Be strong. Build a network of support. Gird yourself with knowledge. Be focused. Put your dream first and make it a reality.
And know that one's definition of reality is personal and fluid.
May 2011 be your year to shine!
Wednesday, January 5, 2011
A New Year and A New Perspective: I'm a Professional
Every year I reflect upon my accomplishments before I set forth new goals and ideals for the new year. I shared my methodology for developing new goals at the beginning of 2010. And I pretty much follow this method every year.
This year I sat down to write my list of twenty-five accomplishments for the year and wrote over forty! Why so many? Because I wasn't just reflecting upon my work/writing accomplishments. No. I was reflecting upon my life and family accomplishments as a wife, a mother, and a friend.
I'm proud of all that I accomplished as a writer, but I am also very proud of my personal accomplishments. It's been an interesting year filled with challenges. My hubby had a hip replacement surgery, I taught my daughter to drive, I said goodbye to my father-in-law, I hosted friends and family for visits, I traveled from here to NYC with my daughter on an epic road trip to tour colleges, I recommitted myself to building a community in my new city in Alabama, and I explored new places.
This was a great year.
As I sat down to renew my focus for 2011, I realized that with all the different hats I wear, I can no longer limit myself to just one set of 5 Top 5 Priorities. No. I am officially a full time writer with many goals, priorities, and commitments. I am also a mother, a wife, and a friend. These two areas of my life need to be separated and treated differently. Therefore, I see myself as a career writer who needs to organize her life accordingly.
And so I made two top 5 priority lists for this first quarter. Each list will be reviewed every quarter. And even better, my darling hubby agrees that I need help with the household duties because I am "working" now. Now I have two master schedules. A schedule for writing and handling all the marketing/business/volunteer duties alongside my household schedule. And the family minions, Darling Teen and Darling Hubby will help with household tasks.
It has happened. By taking myself seriously as a writer, and by gradually increasing my workload and my commitment to my dreams, I have become a professional career writer. Sure, I don't get paid (not unless you count the quarters I pay myself), but I am a professional. And the proof is in the way my family and friends view me. I'm not just that lady who hauls her teen to voice lessons or who does laundry. Nope. I'm the "writer in the family."
And I like it.
Self-respect. Taking myself seriously. It means being taken seriously by others.
Try it this year. Respect your goals, your ambitions, your hopes, and your dreams. You might discover that others in your world do the same.
This year I sat down to write my list of twenty-five accomplishments for the year and wrote over forty! Why so many? Because I wasn't just reflecting upon my work/writing accomplishments. No. I was reflecting upon my life and family accomplishments as a wife, a mother, and a friend.
I'm proud of all that I accomplished as a writer, but I am also very proud of my personal accomplishments. It's been an interesting year filled with challenges. My hubby had a hip replacement surgery, I taught my daughter to drive, I said goodbye to my father-in-law, I hosted friends and family for visits, I traveled from here to NYC with my daughter on an epic road trip to tour colleges, I recommitted myself to building a community in my new city in Alabama, and I explored new places.
This was a great year.
As I sat down to renew my focus for 2011, I realized that with all the different hats I wear, I can no longer limit myself to just one set of 5 Top 5 Priorities. No. I am officially a full time writer with many goals, priorities, and commitments. I am also a mother, a wife, and a friend. These two areas of my life need to be separated and treated differently. Therefore, I see myself as a career writer who needs to organize her life accordingly.
And so I made two top 5 priority lists for this first quarter. Each list will be reviewed every quarter. And even better, my darling hubby agrees that I need help with the household duties because I am "working" now. Now I have two master schedules. A schedule for writing and handling all the marketing/business/volunteer duties alongside my household schedule. And the family minions, Darling Teen and Darling Hubby will help with household tasks.
It has happened. By taking myself seriously as a writer, and by gradually increasing my workload and my commitment to my dreams, I have become a professional career writer. Sure, I don't get paid (not unless you count the quarters I pay myself), but I am a professional. And the proof is in the way my family and friends view me. I'm not just that lady who hauls her teen to voice lessons or who does laundry. Nope. I'm the "writer in the family."
And I like it.
Self-respect. Taking myself seriously. It means being taken seriously by others.
Try it this year. Respect your goals, your ambitions, your hopes, and your dreams. You might discover that others in your world do the same.
Friday, November 19, 2010
Sacrificial Rites & Perfecting Priorities
I've been working on a submission and believe me, my derriere feels the pain. So do my hands! Oh, the nails that once were long and beautiful are short little stubs. And I don't even want to discuss the hangnails. They are the bane of my existence. But sacrifices must be made in order to achieve my goals.
Here are some of the easier sacrifices I make when I am working toward a deadline:
1-Cooking? What's that? People, people in the house. Find a pop tart and deal.
2-Cleaning the bathrooms. A little bleach in the bowl goes a LONG way.
3-Why clean floors when they are just going to get dirty again?
4-Unimportant phone calls aren't answered--I'm talking the solicitation kind.
5-Social media is put on the back burner (but I still check occasionally)
6-Makeup? Hair? What? I'm a writer, not a movie star.
7-Ironing. Like that was hard haha.
8-Menu planning. Isn't that why frozen lasagna and pizza were invented? To ease my life?
9-Kitty litter scooping--someone else can do it for a change.
10-Watching television--thank goodness for the DVR and taping shows!
But in the midst of making sacrifices, I also know there are some things that cannot be ignored. Here are some priorities I keep no matter what, or who, is demanding my time:
1-Grocery shopping. Apparently food must be in the house even if it is a frozen pizza.
2-Laundry. Clean clothes are a must even if I am not a movie star.
3-Care and feeding of the cats--someone has to keep DFC full on Beechnut Organic baby food.
4-Sleeping. Can't write if my brain is dead.
5-Eating. Can't write if my tummy is rumbling.
6-Exercise. Must remain healthy and strong if I am going to keep on writing.
7-Being available to my closest friends in their times of need (friends are forever).
8-Spending time with my Darling Husband. After all, he's my first hero.
9-A modicum of social time cause I can't thrive without people contact.
10-Being available to my Darling Teenager in times of stress and in times of jubilation.
Tip: know your priorities and then you'll know what you can give up to achieve your goals.
What sacrifices are you making to achieve your goals? What are your top priorities and why?
Here are some of the easier sacrifices I make when I am working toward a deadline:
1-Cooking? What's that? People, people in the house. Find a pop tart and deal.
2-Cleaning the bathrooms. A little bleach in the bowl goes a LONG way.
3-Why clean floors when they are just going to get dirty again?
4-Unimportant phone calls aren't answered--I'm talking the solicitation kind.
5-Social media is put on the back burner (but I still check occasionally)
6-Makeup? Hair? What? I'm a writer, not a movie star.
7-Ironing. Like that was hard haha.
8-Menu planning. Isn't that why frozen lasagna and pizza were invented? To ease my life?
9-Kitty litter scooping--someone else can do it for a change.
10-Watching television--thank goodness for the DVR and taping shows!
But in the midst of making sacrifices, I also know there are some things that cannot be ignored. Here are some priorities I keep no matter what, or who, is demanding my time:
1-Grocery shopping. Apparently food must be in the house even if it is a frozen pizza.
2-Laundry. Clean clothes are a must even if I am not a movie star.
3-Care and feeding of the cats--someone has to keep DFC full on Beechnut Organic baby food.
4-Sleeping. Can't write if my brain is dead.
5-Eating. Can't write if my tummy is rumbling.
6-Exercise. Must remain healthy and strong if I am going to keep on writing.
7-Being available to my closest friends in their times of need (friends are forever).
8-Spending time with my Darling Husband. After all, he's my first hero.
9-A modicum of social time cause I can't thrive without people contact.
10-Being available to my Darling Teenager in times of stress and in times of jubilation.
Tip: know your priorities and then you'll know what you can give up to achieve your goals.
What sacrifices are you making to achieve your goals? What are your top priorities and why?
Fabulous Friday Blog Roll
Iggi & Gabi
Pink Tea & Paper by Ellen Brickley
The Character Therapist
Jennifer Daiker
Christine's Journey
Winner of Amy Atwell's Debut Novel LYING EYES is Laura Pauling!
Pink Tea & Paper by Ellen Brickley
The Character Therapist
Jennifer Daiker
Christine's Journey
Winner of Amy Atwell's Debut Novel LYING EYES is Laura Pauling!
Wednesday, August 18, 2010
AWOL for Writing Priorities
I love my blog and all my blog buddies, but right now my rear is BICHOK first for my current revision. I want to nail this puppy to the wall by September 1.
Why am I so dedicated to my characters and so fickle with the blog? For the same reason all writers should be dedicated: the manuscripts must come first. All else comes second, third, fourth--priorities. My second reason for pushing this through and making it my top priority is that I want to start querying again. My third reason is that I want to move onto another story, one that's been tickling my happy writing soul and it is demanding to be written.
But first things first. First me H/H must have a semblance of completion before I move on.
And I've discovered that all my social networking, while vital to me as a human, does detract from the energy I need to focus on the other side of writing: the business side. I am gearing up for a new year and preparing for the future. Researching agents and publishers, creating spreadsheets for querying and submitting all require time. Again, prioritizing means setting aside something I love until I am finished my task.
I'm sort of going through a mini-withdrawal. So here I am posting about my lack of posting.
How do you prioritize your writing day?
Why am I so dedicated to my characters and so fickle with the blog? For the same reason all writers should be dedicated: the manuscripts must come first. All else comes second, third, fourth--priorities. My second reason for pushing this through and making it my top priority is that I want to start querying again. My third reason is that I want to move onto another story, one that's been tickling my happy writing soul and it is demanding to be written.
But first things first. First me H/H must have a semblance of completion before I move on.
And I've discovered that all my social networking, while vital to me as a human, does detract from the energy I need to focus on the other side of writing: the business side. I am gearing up for a new year and preparing for the future. Researching agents and publishers, creating spreadsheets for querying and submitting all require time. Again, prioritizing means setting aside something I love until I am finished my task.
I'm sort of going through a mini-withdrawal. So here I am posting about my lack of posting.
How do you prioritize your writing day?
Wednesday, June 9, 2010
Busy-ness Can Lead to Dizzy-ness
People's lives are busy. Some people actually define their lives by saying, "I'm so busy, or too busy or these are busy days." They revel in the busy-ness of their lives. They revel in the going out and about to do a zillion errands, or projects, or luncheons. They revel in being seen as "busy." Busy-ness defines their lives.
But sometimes I wonder if these people who are so "busy" are actually just avoiding themselves. Avoiding personal introspection. Avoiding examining who they are or where they need to go. Other times I wonder if these busy people are busy because it makes them feel important. The busy-ness defines them.
Ever met somebody like that? I've met a few. I may have actually been guilty of committing the act of "busy-ness" myself. Heck, I was young once. I did my fair share and plus of extra work when I was employed outside the home and afterward. I remember an incredibly intense time after I became a mom where I spent about 6 or 7 years volunteering in the school, the church, the neighborhood--basically did it all. For free. But then I think part of my motivation was the free babysitting *grin*.
Yup. I was a "busy" person. And I knew a lot of "busy people." It wasn't until I was forced to sit down and take stock that I truly began my inner journey. I admit, I was a self-help book addict for years. Heck, with the crazy dysfunctional background I came from, who wouldn't be? But I never really examined who I wanted to be until I couldn't be out in the world being, well, you know, "busy."
Yup. I couldn't be busy cause I got this weirdo bug in my ear that made me dizzy. Beyond dizzy. I had a serious cases of perpetual vertigo. It was the kind of vertigo that made me sick, blackout, with tremenous heat and frightening moments of disorientation. And the only way to beat it back was to STOP BEING SO BUSY.
I was felled by a tiny bug in my inner ear for 6 MONTHS.
At first I was so sick, I didn't have much energy. I napped. Unheard of in my house. I am a "get up and go" kinda girl. Naturally, after I had a few months of serious downtime, I got bored. You know boredom is actually not a bad thing. Boredom means you're healing. Boredom means your mind is getting ready for the next creative adventure.
Now if a "get up and go" girl can't really, uh, go anywhere in the real world, what is she going to do? Oh, hmmm, any good guesses out there? Oh, yeah. Write. And that is how I rediscovered what I know I was always meant to do. I began writing my first novel. It was an escape, a joyful experience, and I fell in love with my childhood dreams again.
That was a wonderful year. The said book was finished, queried and requested by Silhouette Desire BEFORE I even knew about RWA, CRAFT, ETC.
Fast forward almost five years. I'm still focused on the writing. I love it. I have four books under my belt (though I call them 8 given all the recent plot revisions) and I am submitting, being requested, and happily involved in all my RWA/PRO/Chapter organizations. I am also blogging, FaceBook connecting (imagine if they'd had facebook back when I first got DIZZY? I might not be writing cause I'd be "busy" connecting with my social network), TWEETING, helping with an online workshop, volunteering to help with the PRO Retreat, judging contests, entering contests.... YIKES! I am afraid I might get dizzy again.
And yes, before you ask, I am blond. Let the jokes begin and end now.
But I won't get DIZZY. You know why I believe in my heart I won't get dizzy? Because all my "busy" stuff is what I want to do for my career (and my family--which comes FIRST). I have learned the fine art of saying "no." Or, better, "let me get back to you about that request after I think about it." Or better yet, "I would like some help with this please."
Most of all, I've given myself permission to walk away from my commitments and take a breath. When dinner starts, if the phone rings, I don't answer it. Period. I keep my commitments to a set amount and I don't feel obligated to be perfect (losing perfectionism is a great way to give up the "busy" life). I don't say "yes" to make someone think better of me. And I don't say "yes" to gain approval or puff up my ego. Frankly, I don't consider saying "yes" to anything that does not reflect my Top 5 Priority List.
Ah, the Top 5 Priority List. I shared this list with you in January. I learned about this method of establishing boundaries from a LIFE MAKEOVER book I read when I was dizzy. I reevaluate it every quarter. Usually it stays the same, at least the top 2 items stay the same. The bottom 3 vary depending on season, where I am in my life, and how the rest of the family is faring.
But what is a priority? What does this word mean to you? Here is a brief dictionary explanation:
Priority Defined:
Noun:
*A thing that is regarded as more important than another.
The housework didn't figure high on her list of priorities.
Seriously? It never does figure high on my list of priorities. Sure I want to prevent my toilets from being deemed toxic & hazardous, but if my house is dirty and you want to come over cause you're down or need a friendly face, I'm your girl!
*The fact or condition of being regarded or treated as important.
The safety of the country takes priority over every other matter.
Or, the health and welfare of my family, and myself, is regarded or treated as important. If I am trying to do too much, everyone suffers, including me.
*The right to take precedence or proceed before others.
Priority is given to those with press passes.
Now I love this. The items/things/people who take precedence or proceed before others in my life are my family first, my writing (actual writing, not blogging or stuff of that nature), my health, my dearest friends, my spirit and my soul. Everybody and everything else must wait in line. Period.
This getting your priorities straight isn't a perfect process. Sometimes I revert and nibble a bit more off than I can chew. Usually the first thing that suffers is my health. So I get a pretty quick reminder to get my priorities sorted.
Ironically, my weirdest time to keep my priorities straight is through the summer months. I've got these writing goals, but I scale them back a bit, or make room for flexible writing time, during this time of year. Darling Daughter is underfoot, we've got summer travel plans, and I want to enjoy my family during these lazy days. I don't stop writing, but I do break it up differently. And again, my priority is to work on my MS or WIP in Revision. If I'm not on Facebook or I miss a blog post, well that means I'm focusing on my first priority: health and happiness of my family. We're probably at the pool, or shopping, or visiting some museum. And that's okay.
That's the key to maintaining your priorities and boundaries: telling yourself it's okay to let something slide or go slack every once in a while. REALLY!
But sometimes I wonder if these people who are so "busy" are actually just avoiding themselves. Avoiding personal introspection. Avoiding examining who they are or where they need to go. Other times I wonder if these busy people are busy because it makes them feel important. The busy-ness defines them.
Ever met somebody like that? I've met a few. I may have actually been guilty of committing the act of "busy-ness" myself. Heck, I was young once. I did my fair share and plus of extra work when I was employed outside the home and afterward. I remember an incredibly intense time after I became a mom where I spent about 6 or 7 years volunteering in the school, the church, the neighborhood--basically did it all. For free. But then I think part of my motivation was the free babysitting *grin*.
Yup. I was a "busy" person. And I knew a lot of "busy people." It wasn't until I was forced to sit down and take stock that I truly began my inner journey. I admit, I was a self-help book addict for years. Heck, with the crazy dysfunctional background I came from, who wouldn't be? But I never really examined who I wanted to be until I couldn't be out in the world being, well, you know, "busy."
Yup. I couldn't be busy cause I got this weirdo bug in my ear that made me dizzy. Beyond dizzy. I had a serious cases of perpetual vertigo. It was the kind of vertigo that made me sick, blackout, with tremenous heat and frightening moments of disorientation. And the only way to beat it back was to STOP BEING SO BUSY.
I was felled by a tiny bug in my inner ear for 6 MONTHS.
At first I was so sick, I didn't have much energy. I napped. Unheard of in my house. I am a "get up and go" kinda girl. Naturally, after I had a few months of serious downtime, I got bored. You know boredom is actually not a bad thing. Boredom means you're healing. Boredom means your mind is getting ready for the next creative adventure.
Now if a "get up and go" girl can't really, uh, go anywhere in the real world, what is she going to do? Oh, hmmm, any good guesses out there? Oh, yeah. Write. And that is how I rediscovered what I know I was always meant to do. I began writing my first novel. It was an escape, a joyful experience, and I fell in love with my childhood dreams again.
That was a wonderful year. The said book was finished, queried and requested by Silhouette Desire BEFORE I even knew about RWA, CRAFT, ETC.
Fast forward almost five years. I'm still focused on the writing. I love it. I have four books under my belt (though I call them 8 given all the recent plot revisions) and I am submitting, being requested, and happily involved in all my RWA/PRO/Chapter organizations. I am also blogging, FaceBook connecting (imagine if they'd had facebook back when I first got DIZZY? I might not be writing cause I'd be "busy" connecting with my social network), TWEETING, helping with an online workshop, volunteering to help with the PRO Retreat, judging contests, entering contests.... YIKES! I am afraid I might get dizzy again.
And yes, before you ask, I am blond. Let the jokes begin and end now.
But I won't get DIZZY. You know why I believe in my heart I won't get dizzy? Because all my "busy" stuff is what I want to do for my career (and my family--which comes FIRST). I have learned the fine art of saying "no." Or, better, "let me get back to you about that request after I think about it." Or better yet, "I would like some help with this please."
Most of all, I've given myself permission to walk away from my commitments and take a breath. When dinner starts, if the phone rings, I don't answer it. Period. I keep my commitments to a set amount and I don't feel obligated to be perfect (losing perfectionism is a great way to give up the "busy" life). I don't say "yes" to make someone think better of me. And I don't say "yes" to gain approval or puff up my ego. Frankly, I don't consider saying "yes" to anything that does not reflect my Top 5 Priority List.
Ah, the Top 5 Priority List. I shared this list with you in January. I learned about this method of establishing boundaries from a LIFE MAKEOVER book I read when I was dizzy. I reevaluate it every quarter. Usually it stays the same, at least the top 2 items stay the same. The bottom 3 vary depending on season, where I am in my life, and how the rest of the family is faring.
But what is a priority? What does this word mean to you? Here is a brief dictionary explanation:
Priority Defined:
Noun:
*A thing that is regarded as more important than another.
The housework didn't figure high on her list of priorities.
Seriously? It never does figure high on my list of priorities. Sure I want to prevent my toilets from being deemed toxic & hazardous, but if my house is dirty and you want to come over cause you're down or need a friendly face, I'm your girl!
*The fact or condition of being regarded or treated as important.
The safety of the country takes priority over every other matter.
Or, the health and welfare of my family, and myself, is regarded or treated as important. If I am trying to do too much, everyone suffers, including me.
*The right to take precedence or proceed before others.
Priority is given to those with press passes.
Now I love this. The items/things/people who take precedence or proceed before others in my life are my family first, my writing (actual writing, not blogging or stuff of that nature), my health, my dearest friends, my spirit and my soul. Everybody and everything else must wait in line. Period.
This getting your priorities straight isn't a perfect process. Sometimes I revert and nibble a bit more off than I can chew. Usually the first thing that suffers is my health. So I get a pretty quick reminder to get my priorities sorted.
Ironically, my weirdest time to keep my priorities straight is through the summer months. I've got these writing goals, but I scale them back a bit, or make room for flexible writing time, during this time of year. Darling Daughter is underfoot, we've got summer travel plans, and I want to enjoy my family during these lazy days. I don't stop writing, but I do break it up differently. And again, my priority is to work on my MS or WIP in Revision. If I'm not on Facebook or I miss a blog post, well that means I'm focusing on my first priority: health and happiness of my family. We're probably at the pool, or shopping, or visiting some museum. And that's okay.
That's the key to maintaining your priorities and boundaries: telling yourself it's okay to let something slide or go slack every once in a while. REALLY!
Thursday, January 28, 2010
Go Vols! Orange You a Volunteer?
When I lived in Knoxville, TN, the college football team, Tennessee Volunteers for UT, ruled during football season. The locals had sayings like "Orange You a Volunteer?" and Rocky Top Tennessee was a song they sang with gusto and pride.
Tennessee Vols came by their name honestly: history shows them helping out at the Alamo. And future generations have always stepped up to the plate to give aid and assistance in various capacities.
Actually, I find the USA itself to be a country filled with the volunteer spirit. Our rescue teams were the first to show up in Greece, Turkey and now Haiti. Individually, we are a nation of spirited "givers" in churches, schools and organizations. Even our beloved writing organization, the RWA and its sister chapters can't run without its volunteers.
I know. I'm one of them. But not in a big way. How I help is small compared to the help so many others give and to the time others give to RWA and my local chapters, Southern Magic and Heart of Dixie.
So before I go on, let me say THANK YOU. You all rock.
That being said, I want to say, before one volunteers to do a task, know how much time it will take and how it will interfere with your goals; especially your WRITING goals. I evaluate every volunteer duty I agree to do, within the RWA and in my community, in terms of the impact it will have on these things:
1) My family
2) My health
3) My writing time
I also evaluate anything I am asked to do in terms of how they fit into my TOP FIVE PRIORITIES. They are:
1) Family's emotional and physical health, including my own.
2) Pursuit of a professional writing career
3) Household maintenance-clean, shop, run child here and there
4) Preparing my DD for college; traveling to visit colleges
5) Positive social interactions
If the volunteer activity doesn't enhance or fit into my top five priorities and/or the volunteer activity INTERFERES with these priorities, I say no. No explanations necessary. Period.
Why? Has anyone met that volunteer who says YES to everything any one asks of her/him who then drops the ball because they are TOO BUSY and they use work, life etc as the excuse? I know people like that. I've also made that mistake. I thought I'd stopped making the mistake, but I did say yes to a few things last year that interfered with my writing and my enjoyment of my family because I was so caught up in the moment. I fulfilled my obligations in one instance. In another, I quit citing family reasons. And the next time someone asked me if I would do something, I asked "what is entailed?" And I asked "if life hijacks me, are you okay with me quitting?" After I received my answers, I said yes to both requests.
Face it. One feels a bit "important" and "special" when one is asked to help. One wants to "belong" and volunteering is a way of making friends and becoming part of a group. People are vulnerable to this compulsion. I was. Especially after a move where I had to make new friends and wanted to fit in.
Lesson learned. I had forgotten my priorities. And before I started this new year, I made sure I had them listed and TAPED to the the cabinet door next to the fridge and my calendar, also next to my writing area, and IN MY PURSE.
I'm not saying don't volunteer, I'm saying volunteer wisely. This is super important for writers, published and unpublished, to remember before they say yes. Many of us have jobs and families taking time away from our writing. If we say yes to everything, when do we write?
Ultimately, if something is going to happen, more than one person should run the show. Many hands make light work. If there aren't enough people saying "yes" then we need to stop and evaluate the production of the show.
So volunteer. Be part of the team. But remember your top priorities and understand how saying yes will impact them. Ask a lot of questions. Evaluate your time commitments first. Say you'll get back to them after you check your calendar. And remember this too, it's okay to say no without explanation.
Tennessee Vols came by their name honestly: history shows them helping out at the Alamo. And future generations have always stepped up to the plate to give aid and assistance in various capacities.
Actually, I find the USA itself to be a country filled with the volunteer spirit. Our rescue teams were the first to show up in Greece, Turkey and now Haiti. Individually, we are a nation of spirited "givers" in churches, schools and organizations. Even our beloved writing organization, the RWA and its sister chapters can't run without its volunteers.
I know. I'm one of them. But not in a big way. How I help is small compared to the help so many others give and to the time others give to RWA and my local chapters, Southern Magic and Heart of Dixie.
So before I go on, let me say THANK YOU. You all rock.
That being said, I want to say, before one volunteers to do a task, know how much time it will take and how it will interfere with your goals; especially your WRITING goals. I evaluate every volunteer duty I agree to do, within the RWA and in my community, in terms of the impact it will have on these things:
1) My family
2) My health
3) My writing time
I also evaluate anything I am asked to do in terms of how they fit into my TOP FIVE PRIORITIES. They are:
1) Family's emotional and physical health, including my own.
2) Pursuit of a professional writing career
3) Household maintenance-clean, shop, run child here and there
4) Preparing my DD for college; traveling to visit colleges
5) Positive social interactions
If the volunteer activity doesn't enhance or fit into my top five priorities and/or the volunteer activity INTERFERES with these priorities, I say no. No explanations necessary. Period.
Why? Has anyone met that volunteer who says YES to everything any one asks of her/him who then drops the ball because they are TOO BUSY and they use work, life etc as the excuse? I know people like that. I've also made that mistake. I thought I'd stopped making the mistake, but I did say yes to a few things last year that interfered with my writing and my enjoyment of my family because I was so caught up in the moment. I fulfilled my obligations in one instance. In another, I quit citing family reasons. And the next time someone asked me if I would do something, I asked "what is entailed?" And I asked "if life hijacks me, are you okay with me quitting?" After I received my answers, I said yes to both requests.
Face it. One feels a bit "important" and "special" when one is asked to help. One wants to "belong" and volunteering is a way of making friends and becoming part of a group. People are vulnerable to this compulsion. I was. Especially after a move where I had to make new friends and wanted to fit in.
Lesson learned. I had forgotten my priorities. And before I started this new year, I made sure I had them listed and TAPED to the the cabinet door next to the fridge and my calendar, also next to my writing area, and IN MY PURSE.
I'm not saying don't volunteer, I'm saying volunteer wisely. This is super important for writers, published and unpublished, to remember before they say yes. Many of us have jobs and families taking time away from our writing. If we say yes to everything, when do we write?
Ultimately, if something is going to happen, more than one person should run the show. Many hands make light work. If there aren't enough people saying "yes" then we need to stop and evaluate the production of the show.
So volunteer. Be part of the team. But remember your top priorities and understand how saying yes will impact them. Ask a lot of questions. Evaluate your time commitments first. Say you'll get back to them after you check your calendar. And remember this too, it's okay to say no without explanation.
Friday, January 1, 2010
2010 -- A New Year and A New Set of Lists
My Focus Statement:
I enjoy being courageous, flexible and focused as I pursue my professional writing and personal family goals.
My Top 5 Priority List for 2010/First Quarter (January - March)
1) Entire family's health improvement through diet, exercise, and medical follow-ups especially for Darling Husband as he undergoes Hip Replacement Surgery in February.
2) Writing and professional development.
3) Household errands and chores organized and streamlined for maximum efficiency.
4) Positive social connections established and built through church, school, gym, neighborhood and writing chapters/friends.
5) Darling Daughter's college tours arranged and driving lessons established (yikes!)
My Writing Goals for 2010
*finish 4th book revision, possibly make it a single title
*enter 4 contests at a minimum with 4th MS, including the MAGGIES and GH
*start fifth first draft of story plotted loosely during a writing workshop
*work on fifth first draft during TOUR DE FORCE in February
*write every day except for high days
*continue querying agents and editors with 3rd MS
*send partial request and synopsis to agent for 4th MS
*maintain daily blog
*continue guest blogging on Romance Magicians
*judge writing contests
*attend Moonlight and Magnolias Writing Conference
*attend RWA National Conference
*pitch 4th book at both conferences
*help with PRO Retreat
*continue learning and growing in my craft with online courses and craft books
*read for fun
*get a domain name
*coordinate online workshops for the Heart of Dixie
*find a co-chair for the online workshop coordination
*work on YA idea over the summer
*realize that life happens and enjoy the detours
*set top 5 priority list and review it regularly to maintain my focus
*be courageous, strong and focused on my dreams and goals
Looks like I heading into 2010 with my eyes focused forward and my feet ready to dash!
Best to all my writing friends as we forge ahead and dream new dreams.
M
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