A Circle of Support

Every year I sit down and I rebuild my goals based on a book I read six years ago, LIFE MAKEOVER, by Cheryl Richardson. You can read about my process here and here. I have a professional and personal list of goals and priorities to help guide and shape my daily life. This map is a guide, one I can veer from if necessary, but it helps me remain focused regardless of how many potholes and bumps I encounter along the way.

On Monday I posted my 2011 Writing Goals and shared which ones I had accomplished and afterward I received some lovely comments from dear readers and fellow bloggers. Ellen, Katherine, Karen G, Stephanie Jones AKA Alicia Pace, Angela Blount (blogging as Red Peril). I appreciate their kind words about how I influence them as writers, but I'm not accomplishing all my goals in a void where only I spur myself on.

I lean on others during the dark days. The days when I wonder if I am wasting my time. The days when life interferes in big ways. The days when life picks at me in small ways. I would not be where I am today as a writer without Sharon Wray, Karen Johnston, Pam Montovani, M.V. Freeman, Sia Huff, my Goal in a Month x 4 online group -- with a shout out to Amy Atwell for forming this amazing circle of friends--my professional mentors, and generous authors like Lynn Raye Harris.

There are larger circles surrounding me which give me professional support. My local writing chapters in Alabama and Georgia provide a wealth of information about this crazy industry. The Romance Writers of America organization undergirds my writing world. I appreciate the lessons I've learned from countless others throughout the  years during conferences or in virtual classrooms which have been made possible by the RWA.

One day I hope to give back to the larger writing world as a published author. I hope to provide true mentorship and encouragement and pay it forward. Meanwhile, I continue to do my best as a hardworking, unpublished writer to motivate and in some way inspire others to reach for the stars. For in reaching for the stars you will soar.

On Friday I'm posting my professional goals for 2012. I know that no matter life brings I can be confident of one thing: my circle of support will not allow me to give up. Last year the core of that circle uplifted me and held me to my standards despite my health issues, my daughter's mono case, the April 27 tornado cells blowing through Alabama, the loss of my beloved Dowager Feline Clancy, the disappointments, the countless hours driving to colleges with my daughter, and the sad news about a dear family friend's terminal illness.

So you see the greatest gift you can give yourself as you prepare to tackle the year and reach your goals is to give yourself a strong circle of positive and supportive people who want to see you WIN and who will help you pick yourself up and dust off the dirt whenever life sticks a boulder in your path.

If not for the encouragement of others, I would not be where I am today as a writer. And these others, these wonderful women who believe in me and my dream, won't let me walk away from my desires.

Encircle yourself with dream makers.

Realistically Impossible

I've been pondering the word "impossible" a lot these days.

Hmmmm. Why am I doing this? I do have a huge project looming so the word has marched into my mind a few times. How on earth can I possibly complete this task? Is it impossible for me to do what is necessary? What will I do with the information I have to transform what feels like an impossible task into a possible one? I've mulled the task. I've moaned about the task. I've danced around the task. I asked for encouragement about the task. And I received support in super spades.

But it wasn't until I started the task that I realized that it was possible. Sometimes just starting a task means you will find a way to finish it even if you aren't sure how you will accomplish the end result.

Okay, that was easy enough. Start working and the impossible can become possible.

When I have power over the motion of toward the goal, any task can become possible. Well, any task that doesn't require bungee cords, parachutes, trapezes, and a steady hand becomes possible. I've written about being realistic about setting goals. Not all of my goals were under my control. I knew when I posted the goals of "get an agent and get an editor" that I was going to hear that I could only control how I pursued that goal.

I learned from a workshop presenter that it's okay to set these goals because they become imprinted in my mind and can transform my internal thought processes. Sure, I know these goals are realistically impossible for me to achieve on my own. I can't hogtie an agent or an editor and tell her/him to take me on as a writer. That wouldn't go over very well. But I can believe in the goals becoming a reality one day.

Writing them down gave me ownership over my belief.

The mere act of writing down the realistically impossible gave me a little burst of energy. A power over my self-doubts. I developed a singularly strange inner confidence by sending my ultimate goals into the universe. I began to believe that all my goals were achievable. I was no longer constrained by the need to check them off my list in a timely manner. No. I was released from my inner demons of doubt and anxiety to do the other tasks that were necessary to achieving the realistically impossible.

Saying something can happen often makes it happen. I don't know how this works. I just believe it does.

"There is no  use in trying," said Alice; "one can't believe impossible things." 

"I dare say you haven't had much practice," said the Queen. "When I was your age, I always did it for half an hour a day. Why, sometimes I've believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast." Lewis Carroll

I've dissected the word impossible and discovered this amazing fact:

I'm Possible.

Positive Peer Pressure

You've embarked on a journey toward a goal. One you believe in and want to achieve. You tell someone about your dream. That person laughs, asks if you are crazy, rains on your parade and tell you it is unattainable.

Now, if you are a 70 year old and you've just told your wife you're thinking about becoming a circus high wire act despite the fact that you have no coordination then you might deserve the above scenario.

Yes, dreams should be realistically attainable.

If your dream is realistically attainable, and someone in your life says you shouldn't try to attain this dream, then you need reevaluate your relationship with that person.

Tip for the Day: Surround yourself with positive, supportive people as you pursue your dream. 

I wrote about my own journey from solitary writer to writer with a wealth of support here. I've heard the negative comments. One close relative said "you'll never get published" when I told her I was writing a book. Do I share my dreams with her now? No way because I believe I will get that call. But it's more than my own faith in my dream. I want the people in my life to be excited for me because I'm doing something I love. It feeds my soul in ways that I never expected. The end result? Publication? That's just part of the dream. I am living my dream. I am a writer. I write. I am happy because I am writing.

Here's the thing: people who are negative about your dreams and your goals aren't happy so they don't want you to be happy either.

Trust me. I've learned this lesson and it has served me well. I repeat: when someone is mean or nasty to you and rains on your parade it is because that person doesn't want you to be happy and fulfilled.

I am writing because it brings me joy. Sure there are days that I want to drop kick my laptop to the ends of the earth. I get frustrated. I feel the sting of rejection and throw personal pity parties (for a finite amount of time), but I keep on writing because that is when my positive community of support comes into play. These are the people who remind me about how much fun it is to do what I do. They encourage me. They lift my spirits. They make me laugh. They drink wine and eat dark chocolate with me while they tell me YOU WILL SUCCEED.

Surround yourself with positive peers who celebrate your dream and encourage you to keep working hard to attain the prize you seek. These are the people who must be in your world as you pursue your dreams. They are the people who want you to be happy and fulfilled. They are the people who want you to have joy in your life.

And when you reach your dream? They will be first in line to celebrate your victory!