Retro Blog: Fate, Fortune Cookies, and Faith

On May 30, 2013 I got the call from my editor at Entangled Publishing. This blog first aired June 5, 2013. Now I am poised to release my debut novel THE MAVERICK'S RED HOT REUNION on June 30th, 2014. It's a dream come true. Here's the story about what happened on May 30th, 2013. 

I got what we writers like to say is "The Call." In my case it was an email. And I was sitting in my trusty Ford Escape getting ready to go to my morning Zumba class when it arrived on my iPhone. So what did I do after my new editor at Entangled Publishing sent me the email that stated my manuscript was approved?

Frankly, I trembled. It was unbelievable, surreal even, after all these years of seeking a home for my stories.

I emailed her back-thanked her so much and then I forwarded it to the Physicist and my critique partners, Sharon Wray, Karen Johnston, and Pam Mantovani. Sharon and Karen have worked with me since 2006 and they're talented writers whom I value beyond measure. Pam and I met through a contest that she was coordinating in 2009: the Maggies for the Georgia Romance Writers RWA Chapter. I finaled that year and the following year I wooed her to become my category romance writing partner. We haven't looked back. She's an incredible writer, a fantastic critique partner, and a dear friend.

I would not be the writer I am today if fate had not lead me to these women. Our relationships are special, and I love them all.

Fate also lead me to a fantastic writing group. The Romance Writers of America. My first manuscript was requested by an editor at Harlequin and then rejected. Rightfully so. It was a hot mess and I needed to learn a lot. But in that rejection, the editor encouraged me to join RWA. So I did. Then I found Karen and Sharon. Two years later, I found more writing chapters with my subsequent move to Alabama. Southern Magic, Heart of Dixie, Music City Romance Writers and Georgia Romance Writers of America have given me so much support throughout these long years. Fate also led me to a fantastic group called GIAMx4 (Goal in a Month) after I emailed the loop's creator about a PRO post. Amy Atwell is a dynamo and I adore her for including me in this group. They are so good to me. Finally, fate also sent me a multi-published author who literally took me by the hand and said she'd read the first three chapters of the book I just sold because she knew how hard it is to get published. I finally plucked up the courage to send her this book and she fell in love with it. Though it didn't suit her publishing house's line, it lead me down an interesting pathway. And her faith in my writing kept me going when times got dark and I wanted to give up writing for a shopping vocation.

But I couldn't quit writing because then I would be--as Sharon so wisely and gently said--rejecting myself.

This brings me in no clear way to Fortune Cookies. For some reason I like saving certain fortunes that come in the cookies. I've kept two in my jewelry box for at least four years. I used one in my short bio because it suits me to a T. I kept the other one because it describes my internal motivation. Here they are:

Your ability to find the silly in the serious will take you far.
Your skills will accomplish what the force of many will not.

There were days when I'd open my jewelry box to get my hoop earrings and heart necklace and I'd read these fortunes just to jump start my day and keep my motivation going.

I came home and showed the College Kid the email who then promptly hugged me three times in a row (a record!) and said she was proud of me. I still get all weepy when I recall that moment. Then it was off to PF Changs because the day I sold to Entangled Publishing, the Physicist and I had already arranged a SWG with one of our favorite couples at the restaurant to catch up. SWG stands for Scotch Working Group. The servers there keep The Marine and The Physicist's  favorite scotch on hand and know them by name. So one minute I was signing a contract and the next I was off to eat Chinese and hang out with friends while the College Kid started fooling around with my Tumblr account to make it look better.

When the Marine and his wife learned the news they were very excited. But really? I was so dazed, I was almost overwhelmed. They insisted on me tooting my own horn a bit. So we had a big piece of cake on the house (because the server was happy for me after they told her I had sold a book). After we ate the cake (which was super yummy and completely sinful) the fortune cookies arrived. We each opened ours and I'm saving them all in my jewelry box. Here's what they said:

You will receive a surprising gift very soon.
You should have a talk with a friend today.
Treasure what you have.
A small gift can bring joy to the whole family.

Somehow, in the dim glow of the low lights at PF Changs these fortunes reflected my entire day. I loved that moment when each member of the table read their slip of paper, then handed me their fortune.

Their friendship leads me to Faith. I could not have gotten to this point without the company of faithful friends and without faith in something greater than me guiding my destiny. My family, my dearest and oldest friends (two who read the first ill-fated manuscript and encouraged me to go forth), my new friends, my Zumba Sisters, my writing friends, my awesome critique partners, the mentors and teachers who have guided me (Mary Buckham, Dianna Love, Margie Lawson, Michael Hauge to name a few), the published authors who have given me so much encouragement--all of them have filled my internal faith jar with hope for the future.

And I have a real faith jar. Years ago someone gave me a prayer jar. You write down your prayers on slips of paper and date them, then you put them in the jar and let them sit there. When things change, you check the jar and pull out the prayers that have been answered. OK, so now I'm crying as I write this because this weekend I pulled out two slips of paper. Here's what they said and the dates they were written:

I  pray that someone will publish my works 2005
I pray for strength to write strong even when I'm not published. 2012

The top of my jar is inscribed with the following words:

Faith is the substance of things hoped for... Hebrews 11:1

It's been a long journey from that first tiny slip of paper to today's new slip of paper. The journey's not over, it's just different. I'm making new connections and finding new friends who are in this extraordinary world that I've just entered. But I'm so glad that the companions I have known throughout my life will be cruising on this pathway beside me. They are why I have the courage to sit down to write stories which believe in the power of love binding two hearts together.

A lot has changed since I first wrote this blog. I lost my dear friend Karen Johnston to an inoperable brain stem tumor in March 2014. I'm grateful that we were able to celebrate my sale last year. She was an amazing person, and I will miss her forever. Still, she's with  me every day in spirit cheering me on with her boundless enthusiasm. And there's been good news despite the sadness that has passed our way. Pam Mantovani sold her first book to Belle Books in July 2013. And Sharon Wray is a Golden Heart finalist for the fourth year in a row. 

One thing that hasn't changed is my faith jar. It still has prayers in it. Slips of paper with bits of hopes and dreams written on them.

Fate, Fortune Cookies, and Faith

I got what we writers like to say is "The Call." In my case it was an email. And I was sitting in my trusty Ford Escape getting ready to go to my morning Zumba class when it arrived on my iPhone. So what did I do after my new editor at Entangled Publishing sent me the email that stated my manuscript was approved?

Frankly, I trembled. It was unbelievable, surreal even, after all these years of seeking a home for my stories.

I emailed her back-thanked her so much and then I forwarded it to the Physicist and my critique partners, Sharon Wray, Karen Johnston, and Pam Mantovani. Sharon and Karen have worked with me since 2006 and they're talented writers whom I value beyond measure. Pam and I met through a contest that she was coordinating in 2009: the Maggies for the Georgia Romance Writers RWA Chapter. I finaled that year and the following year I wooed her to become my category romance writing partner. We haven't looked back. She's an incredible writer, a fantastic critique partner, and a dear friend.

I would not be the writer I am today if fate had not lead me to these women. Our relationship is special and I love them all.

Fate also lead me to a fantastic writing group. The Romance Writers of America. My first manuscript was requested by an editor at Harlequin and then rejected. Rightfully so. It was a hot mess and I needed to learn a lot. But in that rejection, the editor encouraged me to join RWA. So I did. Then I found Karen and Sharon and then I found more writing chapters with my subsequent move to Alabama. Southern Magic, Heart of Dixie, Music City Romance Writers and Georgia Romance Writers of America have given me so much support throughout these long years. Fate also led me to a fantastic group called GIAMx4 (Goal in a Month) after I emailed the loop's creator about a PRO post. Amy Atwell is a dynamo and I adore her for including me in this group. They are so good to me. Finally, fate also sent me a multi-published author who literally took me by the hand and said she'd read the first three chapters of the book I just sold because she knew how hard it is to get published. I finally plucked up the courage to send her this book and she fell in love with it. Though it didn't suit her publishing house's line, it lead me down an interesting pathway. And her faith in my writing kept me going when times got dark and I wanted to give up writing for a shopping vocation.

But I couldn't quit writing because then I would be--as Sharon so wisely and gently said--rejecting myself.

This brings me in no clear way to Fortune Cookies. For some reason I like saving certain fortunes that come in the cookies. I've kept two in my jewelry box for at least four years. I used one in my short bio because it suits me to a T. I kept the other one because it describes my internal motivation. Here they are:

Your ability to find the silly in the serious will take you far.
Your skills will accomplish what the force of many will not.

There were days when I'd open my jewelry box to get my hoop earrings and heart necklace and I'd read these fortunes just to jump start my day and keep my motivation going.

I came home and showed the College Kid the email who then promptly hugged me three times in a row (a record!) and said she was proud of me. I still get all weepy when I recall that moment. Then it was off to PF Changs because the day I sold to Entangled Publishing, the Physicist and I had already arranged a SWG with one of our favorite couples at the restaurant to catch up. SWG stands for Scotch Working Group. The servers there keep The Marine and The Physicist's  favorite scotch on hand and know them by name. So one minute I was signing a contract and the next I was off to eat Chinese and hang out with friends while the College Kid started fooling around with my Tumblr account to make it look better.

When the Marine and his wife learned the news they were very excited. But really? I was so dazed, I was almost overwhelmed. They insisted on me tooting my own horn a bit. So we had a big piece of cake on the house (because the server was happy for me after they told her I had sold a book). After we ate the cake (which was super yummy and completely sinful) the fortune cookies arrived. We each opened ours and I'm saving them all in my jewelry box. Here's what they said:

You will receive a surprising gift very soon.
You should have a talk with a friend today.
Treasure what you have.
A small gift can bring joy to the whole family.

Somehow, in the dim glow of the low lights at PF Changs these fortunes reflected my entire day. I loved that moment when each member of the table read their slip of paper, then handed me their fortune.

Their friendship leads me to Faith. I could not have gotten to this point without the company of faithful friends and without faith in something greater than me guiding my destiny. My family, my dearest and oldest friends (two who read the first ill-fated manuscript and encouraged me to go forth), my new friends, my Zumba Sisters, my writing friends, my awesome critique partners, the mentors and teachers who have guided me (Mary Buckham, Dianna Love, Margie Lawson, Michael Hauge to name a few), the published authors who have given me so much encouragement--all of them have filled my internal faith jar with hope for the future.

And I have a real faith jar. Years ago someone gave me a prayer jar. You write down your prayers on slips of paper and date them, then you put them in the jar and let them sit there. When things change, you check the jar and pull out the prayers that have been answered. OK, so now I'm crying as I write this because this weekend I pulled out two slips of paper. Here's what they said and the dates they were written:

I  pray that someone will publish my works 2005
I pray for strength to write strong even when I'm not published. 2012

The top of my jar is inscribed with the following words:

Faith is the substance of things hoped for... Hebrews 11:1

It's been a long journey from that first tiny slip of paper to today's new slip of paper. The journey's not over, it's just different. I'm making new connections and finding new friends who are in this extraordinary world that I've just entered. But I'm so glad that the companions I have known throughout my life will be cruising on this pathway beside me. They are why I have the courage to sit down to write stories which believe in the power of love binding two hearts together.

Lent, Faith, & Prayer

A lot of people are walking through the Lenten season. 40 days and 40 nights of reflection and review, of sacrifice and sacrament, of prayer and more prayer. I am not formally following the Lent season. I don't think I've ever done so. I've never looked at this season as a time to stop doing something. I look at Lent as a season to start excavating my spirit.

This season I'm mining the depths of my soul and pouring the results onto the pages I am writing.

The only way I know how to go into the caverns is through prayer and meditation. My prayers are focused in the morning, but they're also wrenched from the pit of despair within my heart during odd times of the day.

I believe in the power of prayer, but not because I think praying is a way to get answers to questions and riddles we can't ever solve. I don't believe I guide my prayers. I believe God guides my prayers. And when I listen to God, the direction often goes into territory I hadn't expected, nor wanted. Often times I go there kicking and screaming and fighting. But in the end I yield to His leading and I bow down in acceptance.

I I continue to pray even when the woods become dark and scary and frightening. I continue to pray even when my faith is faltering. I continue to pray even when I know deep, deep, deep down the answer isn't what I wanted to hear.

Why? Why do I kneel and pray even when I know I won't like the answer? Because I have to believe that in praying I am coming closer to God and that He will guide me through the darkest hours. He will pull me out of the depths of despair. He will give me comfort.

My prayers aren't necessary for God. They are necessary for me. Prayer is His gift to me. Prayer is His way of drawing me near, covering my shoulders with his love, sheltering me from the storms, and bringing me peace if only for that moment.

And for that I give thanks. And for that I go back to my knees and pray again.

All faiths have their rituals and prayers. What are your rituals? Did you give something up for Lent? Do you believe in the power of prayer? If so where do your prayers lead you?

The Universe Speaks

Last weekend I had an icky kind of a Saturday/Sunday. Afterward I gave myself permission to "rebel" against my writing and just decorate the house, read other people's books and manuscripts, judge a contest, and hang out with friends. 

The household and my non-writing friends benefitted from my mini-rebellion. I managed to get all kinds of fun things done for my media room and the living room. I got inspired by looking at baubles and trinkets and artwork. I read cool quotes which I ordered as vinyl applications for my media room. By Saturday my well was full again. 

I could feel myself easing back to the office, to my writing, to my daily grinding out of words and thoughts and emotions and actions. I was in a strange kind of a re-organization mood. First up? I had to get a new weight/measurement diary going. My old one was full and the last several weigh-ins/measurements had been done on sticky index post-its. 

Never one to waste paper, I scrounged my writing office for a small journal to keep track of these measurements. I came across one which I had started as a 1000 things to be grateful for (stopped at 125, but I will add more) which also had quotes in it, randomly written jottings from the ART OF WAR FOR WRITERS by James Scott Bell.

"Every moment spent whining about your writing career is a moment of creative energy lost... turn grousing into energy by writing!" 

A clear reminder that whining about my writing and how slow the business side churns won't accomplish anything but valuable time wasted which could be used to be creative. Last week I couldn't face the computer. I channeled my energy into decorating the house because I could see a a tangible result. I got one. Now I know what the universe expects of me. Quit worrying about the end game, just play it. 

After that epiphany, I went into my office with a dust rag and furniture polish. I dusted all my pretty bookshelves from top-to-bottom till they gleamed. I threw away old papers and contemplated my writing. I looked at one shelf and opened my prayer jar--a small gift with scripture on it--in it was one slip of paper with "That my books will one day be published" written in 2005. Yup, 2005. That slip of paper has been there for 7 years. 

I refolded the paper, put it back inside the jar. Then in a frenzy of faith, I wrote out other prayers about my writing and my friends' writing and their dreams. Now the jar is full. Full of hope, faith, belief. Belief that one day my little slip of paper will be drawn out of that jar and a little hallelujah dance will occur because the prayer is answered.

When I looked at the order of books on the shelves, I discovered that I'd not put the writing books FRONT AND CENTER. They were on lower shelves, parenting books were on the top shelf, fiction books in the middle. The few writing craft and inspiration books I had were hidden behind pictures and doodads. Was I really taking my writing seriously? Really? Down deep at the gut level, at the subconscious emotional level where the mind works in wild and mysterious ways, I had not put the writing first. 

I was clinging to old jobs or ways of thinking. I had how to parent and raise an optimistic child books front and center, but that job--while not finished--is clearly transitioning. I had my fun reading books in the center--yes they are pivotal to becoming a better writer, but they aren't about the business or craft per say. 

I rearranged the shelves to reflect the changes and transitions in my life. The writing and craft books are front and center. I can see them and reach them easily. 

The gorgeous picture of my daughter when she was 5 years old and precocious has moved to the top shelf because she is inspiration. That I--someone who had no strong foundation in life for parenthood--could raise a smart and beautiful and talented child to become a dreamer, an optimist, and an adventuring young woman is a rare gift. 

She's proof that if I try hard enough, keep working on the weak and gray areas of this muddy mothering job, and persist in becoming as good an example of how to live and treat others that I can succeed. (Not that I did this alone--the Physicist has had a hand in all this but I like to think I was smart in choosing the best man for the future fathering job I had planned for him LOL). 

As I rearranged books, I came across a tiny blue gem that my dear CP and friend Sharon Wray sent to me last year as a gift. I think it was for my birthday so it's fitting that I come across it during my "birthday week." As always, I had put it into my shelf with the good intention of reading it when I had time and promptly forgot. But the Universe leads me to find things when I need them most. I picked up this tiny book GIFT FROM THE SEA by Anne Morrow Lindbergh (50th addition) and turned the pages to read.

Here's a quote that stirred my soul:

"The sea does not reward those who are too anxious, too greedy, or too impatient. To dig for treasures shows not only impatience and greed, but lack of faith. Patience, patience, patience, is what the sea teaches. One should lie empty, open, choiceless as a beach--waiting for a gift from the sea."

Now that needed to be read yesterday. Not sooner, not later. But yesterday. Because today I am moving forward with a new direction. A new plan. A new spirit. I will probably never be the most patient person in the world (ask my CPs, the Physicist, the Teen--they'll readily concur), but I can always remind myself that I can't make it happen any faster by being anxious. 

And this leads me to my final quotes. Quotes which will go into the media room after they arrive. 

“Around here, we don’t look backwards for very long… we keep moving forward, opening up new doors and doing new things because we’re curious… and curiosity keeps leading us down new paths.”  

“All our dreams can come true if we have the courage to pursue them.”

Walt Disney

I'm back. I'm ready to surge ahead. I'm moving forward with gusto and curiosity and faith. The universe has spoken to me and the message is loud and clear. Has the universe been speaking to you? Do you listen? What has it said?