Tuesday, December 15, 2009

Real Life Women vs. Not

I was laying in bed this morning, beating back the clock in the hopes that I could sleep just a few more minutes, and I was musing. Well, to be honest, I was muddling over my TO DO list for the week. Hmmm, how does one cram two weeks of work into one, thought I? And that was before I got to my "chores" list. And then, as I cuddled neath the sheets, I thought, oh, how funny, my life is so different from fictional heroines in HEA books. And I came up with a list of things I rarely see heroines do in the books I read (unless they are super literary in which case I become depressed and must put them down).

Here is my list (feel free to add to it):

*pulling something out of the laundry to wear cause it wasn't put away
*grocery shopping (unless it's for din din with the hero)
*going to the bathroom to do you know... all that
*having gas
*passing gas (like do they EVER FART?)
*taking a wet wash cloth to wipe away underarm deodorant residue off of clothing
*have a hole in a pant sock and wear it anyway (most wouldn't)
*hunt for one's hairbrush and find it in a teen's bathroom
*endure endless concerts for school (no, their kids always do beautiful and wonderful NON boring shows haha)
*mop floors (unless they are heroines written as maids)
*go to the car shop just for an oil change
*shop for their own stocking stuffers
*choosing a top to wear only because it matches the one clean bra color they have
*driving like mad women to go home to erase memory cards so they can fill them again in less than thirty minutes (my life... so mundane)
*eat cold little smokies out of a tupperware container cause the last cold piece of pizza was consumed without one knowing it

Well, you get the picture... and here's the deal. That's why I read fiction... and write it. I don't want to read about this stuff, but I wonder, shouldn't we sprinkle it in? Like for real?

I try to add real elements into my MSs, but I don't recall any heroine, ever, having a "bathroom moment" unless there was sex involved... come to think of it, I don't think I've read that either.

Well, feel free to add to my list. I'm curious...
Oh, and I have another recipe to add, but I'm just too dang tired and lazy to get up and find it... tomorrow ...


Christina Wolfer said...

-Pay bills
-Need to stop at the ATM
-Get cramps

Very funny. And I'm with you - I don't want to read about the everyday mundane things we do, but it never hurts to "sprinkle" some reality into our stories. I think it could help us connect with the heroine a little more.

Christine said...

Good ones Tina! So true... I see bits and pieces of the list in books, and I agree that the "normal" being in the novels would help us connect with the heroine a bit more.

Now I am reading a Women's Fiction book, The Accidental Bestseller by Wendy Wax and it does have some pretty funny "disheveled" scenes (think Bridget Jones meets a mid-list writer fighting for her career).

Zoe said...

- pull clumps of hair out of drains
- go to the post office
- untangel bedsheets from the dryer

My list might not be accurate as it has been a while since I have read any fiction in a modern setting.

I'd actually like to see a heroine deal with tangeled bedsheets, that particular problem has taken over many a lunch time for me.

Zoe said...

Ooh, I have two more!

- picking wedgies
- having long in depth conversations about the oddities of their digestive systems with family members/significant others.

Christine said...

Zoe, those are great. I am laughing so hard over here in the USA... can you hear me in Ireland? The long drawn out conversations about digestive systems is hilarious (and true!). Picking wedgies and untangling bed sheets? Priceless. I have some more related to laundry etc.:

*rewash an entire load of already washed and dried laundry because someone left a chocolate in their pants. Oh, and do this late at night... even more fun.
*untangling bra straps (DD's are the kind that can be reconfigured so they're always tangling)
*cleaning the cat's litter box (located in our laundry room LOL)
*oh, cleaning up cat barf (meh)

It's no wonder our heroines have time for pursuing love, exciting careers and/or catching criminals. They have invisible maids and errand runners. Perhaps we should write a story about an errand runner for the heroine?

I haven't even touched upon the heroes in our books. Might make a good read for my next blog.

Ellen B said...

Christine, when my dad was young, he worked with an elderly sea captain who genuinely believed that women didn't fart.

Dad didn't tell me if he ever set the guy straight (or tried to. I imagine he was a little set in his ways). Maybe he had just read a lot of women's fiction and believed what he read :D

Christine said...

Ellen, that is so funny! I love that story. It would be great in a book! Perhaps the sea captain was a closet romance reader :D

Zoe said...

I would love to read the story about the heroine's invisible maid!
I imagine it would make a fantastic parody!

Christine said...

Zoe, you're right! It would make a great parody! Haha.

Gwen Hernandez said...

So true, Christine! I've thought about this before too.

I love the wet washcloth. I thought I was the only one. *grin*