RWA Conference Confessions

I'm back from the 2010 RWA National Conference held in Orlando, Florida. The four day conference was amazing and a big congratulations goes out to the organizers and volunteers who helped make our conference happen despite the loss of our venue in Nashville. To pull of a conference of this magnitude in less than 3 months is nothing short of tremendous.

Rather than go into great detail about my conference experience, I thought I'd give you all a few tidbit confessions. After all, confession is good for the soul.

Christine's 2010 RWA Conference Confessions:

*I did not attend every workshop or spotlight on a publisher. I couldn't despite trying to duplicate myself in the copier room. There were too many wonderful events to attend occurring at the same time.
*I enjoyed my solitary walks around the Boardwalk at Disney's resort. Quiet time was necessary as a rejuvenator for my soul. I also enjoyed stopping at the Yacht Club and buying a cold glass of Pinot Grigio.
*I did have a lot of inner Fan Girl moments when I saw any of my favorite authors out and about. Breathing the same air as Nora Roberts, Eloisa James, Jayne Ann Krentz, Susan Elizabeth Phillips, Linda Howard and the list goes on and on gave me continuous inner happy dances.
*Nora Roberts is a super generous person who is patient and kind, but she expects writers to write, not whine. My new motto is: Don't whine, just write.
*It's kind of cool hearing multi-published authors confess that they also have no idea what they're going to write when they reach the dreaded middle.
*No, Virginia, there is not just one way to write a book. Develop your own process and keep going.
*The synopsis is dreaded by all.
*That woman running across between the Swan and the Dolphin in her pajamas with emergency Benadryl in her hands for her CP was me.
*I finished all my wine.
*I didn't get to see everyone I wanted to see, but I saw some of the same people all the time.
*I have a crush on Donald Maass. Who doesn't? Now I want to find the Silhouette books he wrote under his pseudonym.
*Spanx are a horrible invention, but a necessary evil.
*Chicken? Who wants some chicken?
*The Golden Heart/Rita Ceremony was extra special this year because my dear friend Sharon Wray was a finalist. She glowed.

*And last, but not least.... trying to explain that a Romance Writer's National Conference is a lot different than a Scientist's conference to one's husband is impossible because I've never seen darling hubby come home from a conference with blisters upon blisters due to wearing sassy shoes, nor has he ever suffered from "conference voice."

Thanks to RWA again for my fabulous conference. I'm honored and proud to be member and a romance writer. Happily Ever Afters are attainable if we keep believing in our dreams.

Passion Party

Theme. A man against nature thing? A man against man thing? A theme... is it it the music underlying your story? Is it your voice speaking loud and clear about life? Stop. Think. Be.

Here are some Maass Illuminations from WRITING THE BREAKOUT NOVEL:

A breakout novelist needs courage, too; the courage to say something passionately... it is a truth that the world needs to hear, an insight without which we find ourselves ourselves diminished... 


... strong novelists have strong opinions. More to the point, they are not at all afraid to express them. Scratch the surface of a best-selling author and very likely you will not find a marshmallow underneath. You will find a fiery, impassioned advocate. 


... stories lacking fire cannot fire readers. Cleave to your convictions. Cherish them. Let them stoke your story with an energy that will drive it like the giant pistons of a steam locomotive. Let yourself care because  that is to live with passion--and it is passionate stories that your readers crave.


Do you have passion? Do you have conviction? Do you care about SOMETHING? Share it... don't preach. Just share it in the voices of your characters...

Move them forward. Move yourself forward. Think. Be. Live. Fight. Be. Go for it!

Muffin Top Middle

I am currently revising my dreaded middle section of the WIP. Let me repeat: dreaded middle section.

Now for the non-writers out there or for the writers who only make it to the middle of a novel, lose heart and quit, here is a truism: writing through the middle section of a WIP/FIRST DRAFT; WIP/IN REVISION FOR THE BILLIONTH TIME is painful and soul-sucking work. This is not for the faint of heart. Nope. One must forge ahead, knowing the maps and outlines created to prevent this mind-numbing process have FAILED. Or at least we believe they have and we would love to kill the characters and move on.

Confession: According to my loving CP in VA, I whine a lot as I enter into this phase.

As I grit my teeth and buckle down to wrestle the horrible plot into shape, I begin to have hope and become somewhat euphoric because I can see the solutions unfolding and bringing me to new lands. I don't kill my peeps, they find a great way to fix life's many problems, the villain or bad dude is conquered and all the loose threads are neatly tucked into a bow.

It's a glimmer of hope. One that will ebb when I have to tighten the writing, but it can be done.

Confession: I don't know of a single writer, published or unpublished, who doesn't go through the "I suck" period while stuck in the middle of their MS.

I'm muddling along with my current WIP in Revision while nursing DH through his hip replacement recovery and all that entails. While not trying to squeeze in writing time, I am reading Maass's book, WRITING THE BREAKOUT NOVEL. A few days ago, while waiting for DH to get through his surgery, I read the following:

Breakout novels sprawl... it can be a scary prospect, this business of writing large. In midmanuscript a breakout novelist can feel lost, overwhelmed by possible scenes and the challenge of tying up every thread... it is common for outlines to breakdown... many breakout novelists realize they have not looked at their outline in months... instead they are pushing forward on instinct, using some inner sense of direction to keep them driving toward the hight moments and, eventually, the final line.


This is where I am-the midsection. And it is growing into a muffin top midsection. Yet I persist because I sort of envision the final destination for my peeps. The story is taking a life on of its own. I love this part of the writing process. It's not going fast, but it is going well. I know it will need a lot of shining and polishing when it's done, but oh the plotting and playing with it is fabulous.

My midsection is a muffin top.

What is a muffin top? Well, it's that top of the muffin that spills over the ends of the cupcake holder and makes a lovely half moon shape. It's got all the ingredients inside it and when one bites into it, sheer delight.

Confession: Not only is my midsection of the MS a muffin top, my belly is currently a muffin top spilling over my jeans due to a long cold winter, too many hours in BICHOK and not enough hours trimming the middle down through diet and exercise.

That is what I am getting ready to do--put my MS on a diet and exercise program. I will whip this puppy into shape using whatever means I can to get the story told.

Meanwhile, pass the muffins.

There I said it. No amount

Voice: Not a Song, but Your Heart on the Page

I've been haphazardly plowing through my MAASS book, WRITING THE BREAKOUT NOVEL as I work on my huge revision. I tend to revise in pieces: write a little, read a little about craft, ruminate a lot, read through my pages in advance, generate ideas (occasionally brilliant, often not) and write some more.

Some of my writing/blogging friends like Martha and Gwen have a more scheduled way of blogging about their writing and craft work and prompts (read the daily squirrel or prompt). I do not. I blog the way I write and I write the way I think. Basically, I am a bipolar writer/or left to right brain to left again writer. I cross the lateral a lot.

I can be logical and organized, making my neat little Scrivener scene cards, or I can be a musical mess of a jumble of hand written index cards flying around the house. I've got charts, graphs, hard copies, soft copies and a bundle of in-between stuff as I work.

Reading through the Maass book this week, I generated a lot of cool ideas or thoughts about my current WIP in Revision and I also revisited the core of my writing: voice.

What is voice? Is it style? Is it a unique way of writing that sets you apart? Is it tone? What is the elusive quality of "voice" that people are talking about when they talk about a writer's voice? I think Maass covers it very well in his book:

... voice is a natural attribute. You can no more control it than you can control the color of your eyes--nor would you want to. Plenty of breakout authors have a distinctive voice.


To set your voice free, set your words free. Set your characters free. Most important, set your heart free. It is from the unknowing shadows of your subconscious that your stories will find their drive and from which they will draw their meaning. No one can loan you or teach you that. Your voice is your self in the story.


POWERFUL!

Eloisa James said the same thing in a very eloquent way during her Keynote Luncheon speech during the 2009 RWA National Conference. Pour your soul onto the pages. Pour your heart into your writing. Mine your feelings.

You have a story to tell. It's YOUR story. Whether you write romance, gothic literature, vampire YA novels or mysteries, YOU HAVE A STORY.

How we approach writing the story might very well reveal our writing voices. Just as no two writers approach their writing the same way, no two writers have the same writing voice. They can't. They're different people.

Yes. Read other amazing authors' books. But be sure to remember that as much as you may admire their work, only YOU can write a book with YOUR voice in it.

My Writing Quilting Bee

I am slogging away at my revision three chapters at a time per my CP in VA's suggestion. Poof. Hard work. And I'm not hitting a timer or listening for the sand to drop through the hourglass as I work. Nope. Instead, I've found the revision is working out much like one might put together a quilt (my apologies to real quilters as all I know about quilting is the fabrics and what I read about them).

I have a huge bunch of fabric of work that I've carved into small scenes. I've bundled sets of scenes into chapters. I've color-coded the scenes according to hero (blue), heroine (pink), villain (yellow), chapters (pale cream) and unknown scenes/unwritten (white). What is super cool is that I have the MAC Scrivener program and it makes it very easy to see these things on the computer screen, shift them around and not lose a bit of my work in the process. 

Confession: I have an amazing CP (Gwen) who is a super guru tech whiz and she has tons of advice about Scrivener on her blog. Click the link and check out her Tech Tuesdays.

I print out my batches of scenes, edit them hard copy, make notes on them based on what I've read in Maass's books or had the muse send to me (by giving myself time to breath, I actually have found more inspiration and motivation to plow through the dreaded middle) and then I hit the computer and work till my brain fizzles out.

Confession: My brain seems to fizzle out after about 2 hours and then I jump start it with a wee dram of wine.

Today was cool because I could see the whole picture begin to emerge. Scrivener allows me to play and move whole scenes while on a cork board background. Ideas are starting to form. Strange directions are opening up. Now I didn't pound the keys endlessly. I stopped to email and ask questions about certain gun types as well as talk to my CPs in AL and VA. 

But it is coming together. My fabric bits are starting to make sense. I can see where I need to add more fabric or snip some away. I see where the stitching is too loose or too tight. I know the threads I need to pull out and I am picking out new threads to insert into the pattern.

The pattern is there, it's not all put together, but the pattern is starting to create a picture. Now I am excited about the revision.

Confession: I usually need to whine for about 6 chapters and joke around for about 2 of them before excitement kicks in.

*Warning: Whining does resume as I reach the Black Moment/Climax*

Tea Anyone? A Maass Illumination

I'm currently in revision hell and whenever I come up for air, I try to read a chapter in my WRITING THE BREAKOUT NOVEL book, by DONALD MAASS. Yesterday I plowed through his chapter about plotting the contemporary novel. I'm guilty of committing a lot of the mistakes he writes about: car drives, eating in restaurants, introspection, the too long sequel to the scene. I usually weed out the worst of my writing offenses with each pass through of my WIPS and this current POS is undergoing a similar surgery. But oh man, is it tough!!

*confession: I wrote in the last pages of my GH entry where I knew no one would read the words the following nonsense:

And then they went for a really long car drive to go and eat at a restaurant because my characters get hungry and do things like eating, driving and taking breaks from the action. 


*confession: I needed to reach my word count and I knew I'd cut this almost immediately after I sent of the drek... and it is drek... no doubt about it.

Maass gives a lot of wonderful insight into the writing industry and about how writers need to elevate their writing to the next level. Obviously, if the scene is only a "driving" scene to get the character to and from work, then by all means slash it out. If it's integral to a chase scene and the car careens over a cliff, keep it. The action is great.

Apparently eating isn't all that well received either. Nor is drinking tea... another Maass Illumination:

Certain types of scenes are so reliably low in tension that when reading a manuscript, I count them in my notes with hatch marks ... mulling things over while driving from one place to another, relaxing in the shower, fixing a cup of tea or coffee. Category Romance writers are especially prone to these time wasters. When they complain to me ... that they cannot seem to break "out of category," it is a pretty good bet that their heroines are tea addicts."


My friend, Ellen, in Ireland who keeps a nice blog about writing might laugh at the tea addiction comment. I did. But I also paused because my heroines don't really guzzle a lot of tea. They enjoy the following: chardonnay, cabernet, champagne along with a nice helping of Brie cheese, gourmet crackers and fruit.

Dear Lord! My heroines are lushes! They don't go to restaurants. Mine are hanging out in bars, swank gourmet bistros and at wineries. Oh dear. Now they don't get drunk (tipsy for humorous moments), but they do prefer wine over tea.

Confession: I enjoy drinking the aforementioned alcoholic beverages and have been known to tipple back a martini or two as well.

To combat my heroines' affection for wine and champagne, I often make them very health conscious in other ways. They go to the gym, they jog and they eat very healthy food. My girls do not eat deep fried food unless forced to and they drink the requisite 8 bottles of water per day.

So basically, my heroines are healthy lushes.

Confession: I enjoy hitting the gym, working out with weights, power walking and Wii Sports EA. And I drink at least 8, 8oz glasses of water per day.

My revision work today consisted of doing the following:

*cutting out driving to and from work (aack)
*eliminating my hero's breakfast gourmet java
*no jog for my heroine today
*mulling over things that happened

I did not cut out the scene where my heroine and her BF snuck out to the radio station's engineering room with leftover Rose wine, brie cheese and leftover Valentine's chocolates for their secret meeting.

After all, a girl's got to have her vices.

The Lovely Bones: Movie or Book?

Yesterday, after a very productive writing morning, I spent the day with my DD. DH is in Texas visiting his father, who is doing much better this week, and DD had requested to go to the movies.

After hashing out my plot and looking at all the restructuring and work remaining, I was all to eager to be her movie date. Oh, but she chose such a sad movie. THE LOVELY BONES. For those of you who may not know about this movie based on the book with the same title, it's about a 14 year old girl who is murdered and it's told from her point of view after she dies.

For any parent. this is a HARD movie to watch. For a writer, this is a story I wish I had written. Amazing first lines: My name is Salmon, like the fish; first name, Susie. I was fourteen when I was murdered on December 6, 1973. 


I can't do the story justice. Buy the book by Alice Sebold, read it and go to the movie. To be honest, I haven't read the book (too painful and sad), but my daughter did. And she said the book was so much better only because the book could explore the complexity of the story, the people's lives, the girl's perspective more intensely and vividly than a movie.

I have raised a true reader. And I love discussing the differences between the books and movies based on them with her. Why directors and screenwriters make decisions to cut or compress stories so they can fit on the big screen. They are going for the overall theme and mood of the story, but they have to cut a lot to bring the story to life. On the other hand, they have the benefit of the visual, music scores and acting to bring the characters and the story to life.

Sometimes I wish I could add visual, real visual components and musical scores to my stories. But as an author, all I have is words. And the words I use must give the reader the sensation of being in the story and living in each scene.

How? I keep going back to the words of Maass: create sympathy and empathy for your characters. Bring them to life with strong conflict and let them face the conflict and win (if you're a commercial writer) by the end. Do it well. Hone your craft. After you get it plotted and polished to the best of your ability, read it with the mind of a movie director. Share the story with trusted CPs and beta readers. Make sure you have created a story that creates depth of feeling and emotion within the reader because the reader cares about the characters and what happens to them.

Some people might come away from the movie, THE LOVELY BONES, saying the movie didn't meet their expectations because they read the book. But I think Peter Jackson succeeded in meeting mine. Even better, his vision on the screen convinced me to face the pages in the book because he proved the beauty of the story outweighs the horror.

Fictional People

Developing people who pop off the pages and live in a reader's mind isn't an easy task. There are dozens of ways to build characters and give them depth. I've employed many methods, but I am by no means an expert. If I were, maybe I'd already be published.

But I am learning and growing as a writer and this is becoming easier with each new book I write. Hmmm, maybe not "easier," but I'm recognizing my mistakes more quickly and rectifying them either as I write my current WIP, or as I plan for the next MS.

My Character Illumination from Donald Maass's book WRITING THE BREAKOUT NOVEL:

Developing fictional people is mainly a matter of opening oneself to real people, mostly ourselves.


Writers are often portrayed as reclusive personalities. In years past, the writer was also portrayed as cynical, bitter and anti-social.

Do I fit the mold? Nope. And I think most of the writers I know aren't anti-social and reclusive. Oh, we have to work many solitary hours and God forbid anyone bang on my office door when I am in the middle of a hammering out a solution to a difficult scene, but most of us enjoy our peeps in the real world, too.

We're certainly not all quiet and shy beings, either. I am a talker, social and flitting around the social scene. I do thrive on people and interactions with them. I chat a lot, but I also ask questions. I listen. I hear the nuances. I bet most writers do listen. Where else do we get "voice?"

For instance, I spent a good deal of time chatting with my DH's Aunt B when we went to TX to see his father. Aunt B was a true character. Funny, opinionated, loving, caring and addicted to QVC. She heralded me with her stories about her shopping online for her Christmas gifts. And how she explained to her husband about them. And she showed me all her jewelry acquired through her shopping efforts.

But underlying her cute stories was a deeper story. One of loss. First her grown son to cancer, suddenly and inexplicably. Then her other son's escapades with marriage. And her own darling husband's sudden battle with cancer (hey, that's when the QVC shopping began). Now her brothers, my DH's dad and uncle are ill, and they are dying. And she is eager for connection with us, with anyone.

And that's the depth. Her humor, her character and her love all shine.

If I only talked, never listened, really really listened, I'd not know the depth of her stories.

That's what being in the real world is for me. Real people, their voices, their stories, their hurts, their outrages, their pain, their betrayals, their judgments and their histories. And I listen. And I bring to the table of my writing my own set of pain and betrayal and joy and history.

During the 2009 RWA National Conference, keynote speaker Eloisa James said, MINE YOURSELF,YOUR EMOTIONS. Pour yourself into the characters you are creating. They are born of you. (Paraphrased)

Learn craft, practice writing everyday, but most of all be in the world. Be in the world. Pour yourself into people, learn their worlds and share of yourself.

Be real in the world and your people will be real in your fictional world.

Setting and Details

Today I made my word count again. I struggled as I had to cut a few words, but I added a scene and I am pleased with it as it is from the Villain's POV. I also spent some time filling in my GMC chart for the villain before I started writing this morning. I think that extra time clarified my Villain's direction and did build a little sympathy for him as well. We'll see.

My issue right now is getting the story down, cutting out goop and making sure I am not too repetitive. That's hard not to do when I am desperate to add words. So I know some of the words will be revised/chopped/tightened later and then I'll have more room to explore Donald Maass's  illumination regarding setting.

The breakout novelist does not merely set a scene; she unveils a unique place, one resonant with a sense of time, woven through social threads and full of the destinies the universe has in store for us all. She does not merely describe a setting, she builds a world. She then sets her characters free in that world to experience all it has to offer.


Confession time: I want to do this, but I am weak in this area because of one reason. I am lazy. I hate researching and try to make it as easy on myself as possible. If I loved researching, I'd write historical novels. If I was not lazy, I'd build fantasy worlds and write Fantasy Paranormals teaming with wonderful vampires and interesting sexual alpha beasts.

I love reading the historical novels, paranormal novels, great women's fiction, crazy literary fiction written by classic authors like Wilkie Collins and Graham Greene, thrillers and spy stories, mysteries and Young Adult books of the same ilk. I'm swept away by the attention many of these authors pay to the details of the worlds they are writing about. I admire their patience and tenacity. I wish I could be like them, but I am not.

I'm plot and character driven as a writer. I love people. I can mimic just about everyone I know: how they sound, move and act. I can read a story or meet a person who talks about his/her life and create an entire story for them that's fictional or plan to weave them, their interesting quirks, into my writing. That ability comes easy to me. It's my strength as a writer. And I believe my writing voice is strong because I have an ear for people.

I write a lot of dialogue in first draft. Then I layer in the details. And I do admit, I slack in this area of my writing. I used to think I didn't have to build worlds if I wrote contemporary novels, but after reading Maass's book, especially his chapter about setting, I realize that I must build my novel's contemporary world, too. I don't think it has to happen first for me. I have to pay homage to my strengths first and then build around them, but I have to do it.

I have to, but I cringe at the work involved. The time away from my lovely writing. And I know part of the reason I cringe is because I've never been totally steeped in a place with history and connection to people over a long period of time. My background is like a gypsy who moves constantly. Born in the Netherlands, immigrated to Canada when I was four, grew up in a horrible northern mining town, lived in three provinces, many homes, moved to the states when I got married, lived in Tennessee, Texas, Virginia and now Alabama. And I'm already planning my next move.

How can I really reflect an area's time and place when I treat each area I personally live in or visit much like a hummingbird treats flowers? I sip, I fly away, I sip again. I never stay long enough to steep myself in the traditions. I glean surface details quickly, pick up accents (my DH knows exactly who I've talked to long distance by the change in my accent--I even have a DUTCH accent overlaying my slight southern accent on occasion), live fully where I am, but I don't know all the idiosyncratic unique details of any one area I live.

I try to set my stories where I am currently residing. That's helped a bit. And I know of authors who write contemporary romances set all over the world, yet they have never been to those places and they do it well. I hope I can weave a stronger setting as I refocus my direction in my writing to incorporate more details, lacing them through what is a largely a commercial novel, and create a depth to my CR that makes people miss my places when they set down the book.

I know my characters are most important to the development of my story lines, but it's time to up the ante. As I move forward, I will try to glean more than a few sips, but I am hoping that my sips can be sifted throughout the novel in bits and pieces and flashes through dialogue, internalizations and reactions to events. I don't think I'm literary enough to weave a long, descriptive passage as well as many of the wonderful authors Maass quoted in his book, WRITING THE BREAKOUT NOVEL.

Goals and Affirmations

First, I managed to whack out some words on the computer today. Whew. Writing goal met. Personal life goal of going to the gym? Nope. Too busy catching up on errands after I finished writing.

As I write, I am reading Maass's book, WRITING THE BREAKOUT NOVEL. Much of what I read challenged me, forced me to think in many directions regarding this book, my life (hey, I can apply the principles to real life battles), and my future writing.

First illumination from Maass:

How can you catch the mood of our times? ... be sure that your breakout novel will speak to contemporary readers? By being awake to life as it is around us. By living in our times... How can you engage your readers in your fictional world if you, the author, are not engaged in your own world?


Oh, how true these words are to me. I cannot draw from a wellspring of NOTHING. I am committed to the world at large, I fight my battles, I read the newspaper, I have opinions (many I keep secret here, but they crop up in my writing on a regular basis). I LIVE.

This knowledge gives me hope. Writing in a vacuum is not for me. I must engage in the world around me as I am one who needs the interaction. I love to hear people's stories, their histories, their reasons for their choices. I love to talk, but only to disarm others. I want to hear their stories. I care about humanity. I believe in justice. I fight for it in my community as a parent and a citizen.

Every once in a while, I wish I could just turn off this need to make a difference, however small or large, in people's lives. I can't do it. This drives me. Gives me purpose. I believe this drives my writing and gives me purpose in my writing, too.

Yes, I am new. I only have four books... the first one is badly written, the second one is not so bad, the third one is affirming my efforts as a writer, and current WIP is a constant surprise to me. But this current WIP, while difficult and painful to write, is exciting me because I'm attempting to push past the boundaries and build my writing muscles.

... the moral underpinning ... comes from within (me).


I remember struggling for this story to emerge again after a bad critique. And I went back to the basics. At the bottom, underpinning it all, I knew why I had to write the story. And it boiled down to my characters and the depth of their emotions wells up from mine. I'm in love with my characters. The rest of the book, the plot and the setting, is building around them.

In 2009 I learned a lot, and I experienced a lot of firsts. I loved getting so close to the idea of being published and finding an agent. Oh, the heady joy of it all. But the greatest lesson I learned was to push the envelope as a writer. To find that well within me. To patiently mine my heart and emotions and history for a greater story.

And this learning will continue.

Brain Freeze

It's cold outside. And for this part of the country that's unusual. Man, I didn't even venture out to the curb to get a newspaper. I must confess, my creative juices were thick, ice cold blocks that failed to melt today. No way. In addition to the cold, frigid, nasty, wind and future predictions of snow freezing my brain cells, I also had DD home all day.

Rather than fight the ennui and the lack of motivation, I focused on calling a dear friend before the hustle and bustle truly kicks in. Then I organized my writing space, and then I picked up Donald Maass's book WRITING THE BREAKOUT NOVEL and read through the foreword by Anne Perry, the introduction by Maass and the first chapter. 

I'm determined to read the book and just absorb the info as I work on the 3rd revision. One thing that was nice to read was Anne Perry runs through her books at least 4-5 times. And it's as painful for her to do it as it is for me. But she said she knew her story's heart and that remained the same. That also inspired me. Does this mean that I believe I have a breakout novel in my house right now? Heck no. I have what's seriously a break my brain novel in my house right now. But what I love is that true writing, real to the guts writing, the kind that sells boils down to TELLING A STORY and telling it well.

I have a story. I want to tell it well. I want to make it sing. And I'm encouraged that to get the heart of my story out there into the world, I'll have to break my own heart to write it. Cutting scenes and pasting them and dumping them and rewriting scenes and creating deeper plot points and weaving all the elements into the story will take time. 

I will commit the time. I will write my peeps' story. I will write it to the best of my ability as I grow and learn the craft. 

Is this THE BOOK? *shoulder shrug* I don't know. But I know it is MY STORY, and I will write it for my peeps. 

The rest is up to the Gods... and truthfully, Maass reiterated the one thing I already knew: I have control over ONE THING. And that is writing the story.

In a way that gives me hope that I have control over my destiny.

You know, I did say one has to be a bit delusional to write. I guess I will hang onto my delusions.