I have a confession. I like Spider Solitaire. I love the hardest version on my Nook. I play endless games of 4 deck Spider Solitaire. Sometimes I can tell pretty quickly whether I will win or not. I end the game early and start again. Other times it looks like I might have a chance, but alas, no. So I deal again. Every once in a while I win.
I win one game out of every gazillion tries. So why play? Well, it's addictive. It empties my brain and for some reason that helps me with my writing. And finally, I LOVE it when I win. It's a wonderful, heady feeling to beat the game. To win and to have the little screen tell me I've won is awesome.
I play to win.
This Spider Solitaire is a lot like my writing world. It's been 7 plus years. I've written 8 books (some should never see the light of day). I've come CLOSE. Oh so close it hurts. But I haven't won yet. I can either give up altogether, or I can deal again.
I choose to deal again.
I had a great opportunity. I almost made it to the other side of the publishing world. Instead, I got a very nice letter about my book and my writing and why it wouldn't fly with this line. Sadly, I agree with all the reasons the book won't fly. Won't lie. I was a bit down afterward.
But I got over it.
Why? Because I am addicted to writing. I am addicted to solving the puzzle. I am addicted to the elusive idea of WINNING. I am so close to winning it hurts to come in second. And I don't like hurting. I like winning. So guess what I'm doing?
I'm taking that letter's advice and suggestions to heart. They are the blueprint for the kind of books I want to write. They gave me encouraging words like "promisingly high standards as a writer" and "lots of things to love about your writing like..." And "I'd be happy to read your next book's first three chapters."
That's like getting a stacked deck, folks. That's a "you're so close that if you're willing to sit down and do all the work to understand and incorporate what we've suggested, then I will give you another chance because I LOVE MUCH ABOUT YOUR WRITING" kind of deck.
I like those odds. I like those words. I like this opportunity to break through.
Some people would give up. Some people would cave in under the weight of the pressure. Some people would go elsewhere. Why don't I go somewhere else? Try some other publisher? Take a chance on me on my own? Why? Because I want my first published book to break out of the gate as a thoroughbred. I want my first published book to rush out of the gate and get to the front of the pack and be amazing and awesome and a "wow" book. I want my first book that gets published to land me readers who will say "where has this author been my whole life because I want to read more of her books."
So that is why I am taking a break, reading a lot of books, making notes, taking time to think think think and analyze the elements of these books. I am figuring out the final braiding of the pieces of the puzzle. I have everything I need in my toolbox to write a good book. Now I have the final puzzle piece. The elusive blueprint that will lead to my books becoming great.
Yah, I'm that cocky. I'm that "on fire." I'm that determined. I have to be this way or I will turn around and crawl back into my hole and hide. I will quit if I don't play to win.
I don't want to quit on myself. I want to take this opportunity and turn it into a winning hand of 4 Deck Spider Solitaire. I want to see that little screen pop up and say "You Win!!"
Do you play to win?
8 comments:
Christine, your can-do spirit rubs off on all of us. Keep writing! Keep growing! Never lose your passion for the writing and your genre. I KNOW you're going to succeed!!!!
And thank you for inspiring all of us!
I play to win, too, Christine. And it took me over 13 years before I did it, but now that I have, I'm having more fun than I dreamed it would be.
I've read your writing. There's no reason you won't eventually sell except one: If you quit, you'll never sell.
Meanwhile, even though getting that "so close but no cigar" letter hurt, it's still an amazing stepping stone in your career. Do you know how long it can take some people to get that personal rejection? Nobody's blowing smoke up your skirt when they say that a personal rejection means the editor sees real promise in your writing and would like to see something else from you that does fit her line.
Editors don't have time to schmooze, and they don't have time to throw false encouragement to writers who don't have a chance of selling to them some day. So wear that as a badge of honor.
You are absolutely doing the right thing by dissecting that letter and taking the advice to heart. If that's the line you want to write for, you need to know what it takes to get it done. My first revision letter from my editor after I sold taught me more about writing for Intrigue than all the research and study I'd done to that point.
Keep in mind, though—editors don't want copies of what they're already buying. They want YOUR voice, YOUR ideas, YOUR take on the familiar. So by all means, learn the conventions, but also have the confidence and daring to take those conventions and make them unique to YOU. If you give them something they like that nobody else is giving them, you will sell.
Best of luck and you know I'm over here in your corner, cheering my heart out.
YES to everything you said! And everything Paula said too. ;-)
I'm playing to win too, and I know that if we stick it out we'll get there eventually. Maybe not on the timeline we hoped for, but on the one that works for us in the end anyway.
I know you can do it.
Hi Paula: Thank you so much for your encouragement and kind words. I have really been mulling this final piece of the puzzle and looking deep within myself to see what I need to do to make this uniquely mine. Analyzing my own work as well to see what did work and would suit and what obviously didn't. I really want this to work out and I'm willing to put the effort into it. That's also going to take a little time and digestion. I was very motivated by your comments to me about another piece of work I had written. One day I hope that I can do the same for another writer when I am published. I refuse to quit. I just can't quit. I have to make this happen. I'm very proud of that letter. It's given me the motivation and the tools to write that next book.
Hi Gwen: I think persistence and patience and a whole lot of writing will get us to the starting gate with a great book. That's what you want and what I want, too. I have faith that you will also get to the finish line and run that published race with great success!!
:-)
Paula said it all! She's absolutely right. The only way you lose is to quit. I so love your attitude, Christine! And I know you'll get there. I have complete faith in you!
Hugs on the rejection. This is exactly the place I was in when it finally all worked for me. I got so mad I refused to quit. No matter what. And the pieces finally clicked.
You can and will do it!
Paula said it all! She's absolutely right. The only way you lose is to quit. I so love your attitude, Christine! And I know you'll get there. I have complete faith in you!
Hugs on the rejection. This is exactly the place I was in when it finally all worked for me. I got so mad I refused to quit. No matter what. And the pieces finally clicked.
You can and will do it!
Hi Lynn: Your support means a great deal to me. One day we will celebrate my first book salein style :-)
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