Friday, August 3, 2012

Oh Where Oh Where Have I Been and What am I Going to Do?

I've been slightly out of pocket during the month of July, but I'm back for a brief interlude after a lot of writing, revising, critiquing, gearing up for college move in mania, and temporary single parentdom.

The news: I have sent my full manuscript with revisions as suggested to the editor. She has emailed me and promises to read it as soon as possible. This is the period of time during which I obsess over getting yet another revision email so my heart jumps every time I see that I've got "mail" in my in-box. I also fantasize about getting a call that says you're in. But that's a fool's fantasy at this point. I have no illusions about that call. This brings me to the other part of the "wait" which is driving me bonkers: the self doubt and anxiety and apprehension. Have I fulfilled the promise of the story? Have I created a reaction in the mind of the editor that screams "She's done it!" and will she be pleased with how I've handled the revision suggestions? Or have I missed the boat completely. I wait. I wait. I wait.

And y'all know how patient I am NOT. But herein lies the rub. I'm learning patience in this writing world.

The future: I'm catching up on my blogs. I have a great interview lined up with Pamela Hearon on August 7th which celebrates her debut novel OUT OF THE DEPTHS. I've got another debut author waiting in the wings for her release day on August 27th. That will be fun to celebrate as she's a dear friend as well as a fellow writer.

The writing: I am using my time to brainstorm a new story. One set in Argentina with a gorgeous latin man who'll sweep my reserved heroine off her feet and give her the happily ever after she truly deserves. She's smart and strong and surrenders her life for her family as a good girl trying to be the perfect daughter for a father who hurts her immeasurably. When she goes to Argentina to save her family business and, hopefully, prove to her father that she's worthy of love, she discovers someone who teaches her that she doesn't need a parent's approval to find herself and get her happily ever after. Along the way, this man will be brought to his knees by the woman he falls in love with despite his inability to trust. I can't wait to write the story. But right now I'm in the "getting to know you" phase of my writing. I enjoy interviewing them and getting to learn their quirks and the secrets they're hiding from each other and from themselves. What's making this more fun and exciting is that I finally feel comfortable with my writing voice because it really does suit the line I'm targeting. So if all else fails, at least I know where I belong. A big win for this writer.

The family: The Physicist is overseas and his entire business trip is over 21 days. I miss him a lot. I especially miss him now that I am getting ready to take the Teen to her university in one week. Yes. In one week I'll be driving down to Auburn, Alabama with my smart, talented, funny, and beautiful daughter and then the next day I'll move her into her dorm. Then I'll drive home alone. I'm praying for no tears and no rain. Well, no tears in front of the Teen. Tears will most likely flow once I drive away. I know they flowed when I took her to Kindergarten. As soon as I dropped her off at the school, I cried. I cried all the way home. That was only a 15 minute drive. I figure my eyeballs will be soaked through after 4 hours of crying. But it's a good cry. It's a cry of change and a cry of hope and a cry of all good things done and left to do.

She is ready. I am, too. But still I will miss her. I will miss all the parts of her that fill this house and bring so much life to this home. And what will I do while I wait for the Physicist to return from his overseas trip and while I rattle around this house with only Tonks and Mischief?

I will take all my tears and I will turn them into words.

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