Break or Bust?

I've been busy catching up on chores and friends this week. First the chores: house cleaned top to bottom--highly necessary tho' hardly a reward for hard work on my book. Hence, part deux of my break is getting to chat for a long time on the phone with my friends without worrying about it taking away writing time. And today I am going to meet one of them for lunch--that's a nice reward. Tomorrow, my friends from VA are arriving and they stay for 3 days. I'm looking forward to seeing them again. And over the weekend, I get to see my HEART OF DIXIE writing pals, learn to pitch, and that evening I am attending a surprise birthday party. Woot!

I also managed to do little odds and ends. Like hooking up with DonorsChoose

--an organization that donates money to help schools directly linked with military families. What a lovely way to support our troops! And to promote education is a positive thing as well.

And I wrote and emailed my letter asking an editor to judge our LINDA HOWARD AWARD of EXCELLENCE contest for SOUTHERN MAGIC.

I'm holding back from starting my 4th MS read through and first revision until next Monday. It's hard, but I want to give my brain a break, and I want to work on some business stuff. I want to order my business cards for the conference with my pseudonym and I want to start building my web page. Then I can stream my blog into it, and my FaceBook for my writing name. Woot!

In Between Projects...

I finished--for now. So I took a break over the weekend. Well, a writing break. Not a real break. I installed a new fan in my daughter's room. Woot! 

Then I reorganized my office. Highly necessary. There's something cool about throwing away clutter and creating space for the next project--and one awaits!

Meanwhile, I take in emails about how to send an email to a judge for a contest. NEW TERRITORY. Oh dear, please let me do this right. I want to help.

And I am preparing to pitch. Woot! Two Chapter meetings coming up. Meanwhile, I made a fake me FaceBook page. Wow. Now I need business cards and a website... can this happen now?

I am catching up on old lessons and reading about my craft. Woot! So much to learn, so much to fret about, so much to forget.

And I am mentally restructuring my writing day to match my darling daughter's summer break.  Fun! And I am organizing trips, people visiting, camps, teens, and thoughts. Mmmmm .... summer is here... can we say an :hour per day: is good?

I need to check on my editor/agent appointments. I must say, a few of the unhappy posts after BLACK TUESDAY, well, I am concerned... being anal... this is natural.

And it is great to catch up with old friends, clean the house top to bottom, prepare an amazing meal (if I do say so myself LOL), and just BE.  I am ready to move forward, but I am glad for a bit of a slow down after the frantic pace I've put in....

Gosh, I LOVE summer break. I am happy because in a few sleeps, my DD and I will be free to explore and be Mom/daughter for awhile. Of course, others will JOIN US.

So on to the next project, but slowly... steadily... and, perhaps, a bit warily.

Hurrah! Yeah! Amen!

Oh yeah, I am FINISHED!! So bloody happy. Worked my behind off, made 9/11 calls to my CPs re: a scene I new I had to rehash. And one of them called back, we brainstormed, and I believe we came to a good result. 

Now, some of the scenes are short, but they are there... and I like it so much better now. I sent off Ch. 14-17 to my CP Karen in Fairfax to ask if she liked the direction of the S/L. I will need to revise the synopsis, minor details, and then it's mmmm, better? Well, I like the emotional content better. It is MY VOICE. 

Off to celebrate with a movie!

A Very Long Long Long Day

Chapter 16--I knew it would be rough, very rough. And I was oh so very right. I spent a good portion of 8 hours working on one scene. Then I fried and had to finish the second scene. Painful!

But the good news is I had an epiphany about where the story needed to go next--the bad news is it means completely reworking the NEXT SCENE! Argh!! But I think it will be okay. Then I'll incorporate some of the second to last scene into the last scene and hopefully I won't lose too many of my words (though some of them need snipping). 

Oh lord, I like the direction this is going, but I am so tired of it as well. When I am done, I am going to read through the last 5 chapters and rework them one more time based on where these two people are telling me to go now. God, will the next book be any easier?????? Probably not. But I do hope it is faster. 

Blah.

Now it's time to decompress, relax, look at other postings--and I realized I'll have to rework my synopsis for querying based on the revised ending. Blah again. But isn't that the truth for all books out there?

Sigh--

Chapter 15 Kicked My Butt--Dreading Chapter 16

Well I worked for at least 5 hours on Chapter 15. It's an emotional, intense, sexual, culmination of much for my hero and heroine.

And oh, it was so very painful and difficult to write. Cause I had to rethink the premise of their reunion. A lot. I wanted to keep the intensity high, but not make her weak. It was HARD. And I think I succeeded, but I lost some words (hate that cause I will have to go in an add some I am sure). But the words I cut were not right for the story.

Oh I hope I get this ending better written--I hope I find the real reason they reconnect by the final pages. OH how many times have I written this story??????? Will they find home with each other? Will my readers WANT them to reconnect? I don't know. I know I need them to want to be together for ALL the right reasons. 

And I am sure a few months from now I'll be tightening it all up again. 

Now, moving on. Chapter 16 looms. Oh, it looms in a bad way. I am dreading it. Another major rewrite and revision. Hours? Probably. And I must FINISH by end of day. Or else. I must as I must be finished this mad mess by Friday evening. 

Company's coming and I need gotta clean house! Not that I won't tweak the mess! I will. I will print out the last 5 chapters, read through them, add and subtract descriptive elements, look for cliches and more. The joy of writing... fixing ... doing it all ... but it will be worth it if, when it finally happens, I can make a difference in  a small way in some reader's life. 

My goal is to sell that belief that romance is where lost souls find home when they find each other. Oh, the glory of it. The wonder of it. That is the goal.

Meanwhile, after the HEA, there's my life to consider. Like do I enter the Dorchester competition just posted on the PRO loop? I might. Why not? I have nothing to lose other than my dignity. And I lose that on a regular basis. So why not indeed? I'll review it this weekend.

And, after the HEA, I need to get my house ready for company, and spend time with friends I've not seen in person for weeks (they might give up on me if I don't), and I need to plan for my trip to DC. Which leads to preparing to pitch for the big event.

Yikes. But I have old material from my April Kihlstrom class to review, and a BOOTCAMP through the PRO Class loop to take starting the 15th (perfect timing), and my query/synopsis will help with formulating the plan. Oh, and I have the Southern Magic Pitching Workshop on the 27th with Kelly St. John, the amazing Kelly St. John!! I am tres excited about it.

Now, another break... back to my deck and that reality with DH... he is yearning for his former lost soul to fly home and roost with him on the veranda.

Work and Work and Work...

Today I did the usual mundane crapola. Drove DD to inane *required elective* necessary to graduate summer school class, walked for an hour with my PW buddy, and wrote. I reworked chapter 14 and started on chapter 15. Got 3 scenes worked out. But will they ever be finished? Probably not.

Got to speak to my BF in Canada for an hour. We had arranged it prior to today and I was glad for the break. I wish I could be into her world: kids, decorating, painting, family, traveling. But no, I must flog myself continually for no pay because I am driven to write. 

We writers are strange creatures.

Am on the loop for chapter contest coordinator. They might not like how I do, but I am free labor and I want to help. Very good credentials.

Am worrying about DD who is presently at a *camp rehearsal* and dealing with the rain, lots of other more chaste young ladies (it is a Mormon camp... don't ask... we're not Mormon). 

Now I am finished for the day and eager to get the next chapter PUT TO BED... literally. Hehe.

Writing and Reading and Writing and Judging

The weekend zoomed by for me. First I had to get DD off to the lake with her friend. Then DH wanted to go to a movie and dinner with me (I was reluctant, but went, and glad I did). TERMINATOR/SALVATION... oh so yummy in so many ways are the males in that movie. Hugh Jackman has competition now!

I also judged my contest entries. I think in my zeal to keep one writer encouraged, I gave too high a score, but I did my best. I'd rather err on the side of too much than too little. The second entry I judged was fantastic. I was impressed with the story, the writing, and the professional synopsis. I finished the last contest entry today. Interesting story, very lyrical, and lots of potential. But I couldn't score the hero as I didn't know who he was. Too bad!!! But she is a talented writer and will do well once she gets her hero placed in the first few chapters.

I also read through my CP's children's MS after she sent out a 9/11 for input. It's due back to the editor/publisher tomorrow and might be picked up for a series. It was so well-written. Very few errors, and she is such a talented and humorous writer. I hope it works out for her! Woot to my friend. Crossing fingers, toes and knees for her.

I started to day with a long walk/talk with my two neighbors. Exercise is essential! When I returned, I sat down and knocked out the 13th chapter! Finally!! Chapter 14 is started and I hope to knock it out and push out the beginning of Chapter 15 as well. The plan, barring an unforeseen stupid major interruption, is to finish the MS by Friday afternoon. Then I park it till I have solid requests. 

I want to move on. I also want to get ready for my friends to visit, and I want to enjoy some of my summer with the family (though the way things are right now--worrying about money and buying a car for a teen and college for same teen--maybe I might be better off just staying in my hole and writing--or getting a "paying job"). I do wonder why I do this as I am NOT paid and I do have a kid to get through college (tho' DH has a fabulous job and career, it always seems like we can't have it all--and part of the deal for me to move to a small town in the south was to be able to TRAVEL AWAY from it--don't see that happening if we're buying cars and so forth). 

Oh well. In 3 years I'll be an empty nester and that will be worse as far as how much I will miss DD. And writing doesn't cost me much: just contest entries, paper, ink, time, and brain sweat. This too shall pass.

The RWA Conference is in 6 weeks. I have editor/agent appointments (I HOPE STILL ON THE BOOKS) lined up and I am nervous. Of course, this isn't a make or break deal. I plan to query and submit as soon as I get back home from the conference (well as soon as school starts, most likely).  I am excited about going. It makes me feel legitimate. Real. Well, real except for the whole no money bit... did I mention buying a car and college tuition??? 

I am in a bit of a funk. I want to support my DD and make it all perfect for her. But I don't want to lose sight of my hopes and dreams either. I hope it all works out. College didn't seem so daunting 3 years ago. Now it is looming. That and the car, well, it's hard to justify not using my time and talents (and I use the word "talents" loosely) for a career that guarantees money.

But I WANT to write. It's what I am supposed to do. It's who I am. It's all I ever wanted. I don't think I was meant to do anything different. Life just happened and delayed the inevitable. 

Darn it. Why is all so complicated?