I'm Not an Expert, but I Play One in Real Life

A very important part of accomplishing our goals and achieving our dreams is realizing that our way may work for us, but might not work for everyone else. This realization will stop us from believing that our way is the only way that will work. And this realization will keep us humble and open to new ways of doing the things we think we know how to do.

Think about this for a moment. Absorb it. Then walk into a bookstore or go online and you'll see a lot of people have made money selling their way of doing things as "the way." Sure, it worked for them. And maybe it will work for you. But don't believe that every "expert opinion" is the answer and final solution to how you need to accomplish your goals.

In my writing life I have been to many conferences, workshops and chapter meetings that cover the craft of writing. I've also read a lot of books about how to approach my writing and how to craft "the book." As a new writer, I eagerly followed the first bits of advice to the letter. I figured if I could master the other person's way of writing a book then I could be successful, too. But the truth is, I had to develop my own approach. And I've learned that every book and every idea requires a different approach.

That's my way. I have to dig into the writing in my own way while utilizing the bits and pieces of information that I've gathered throughout the years as tools to building my stories.

The same is true for any person pursuing any goal. It's true for parents, too. Oh, as a parent I could go on and on about the expert advice I have received from other parents who had it all figured out for themselves. Oh, they were all too eager to make sure I understood their methods were "the methods" for raising my darling daughter.

I'm sure their judgement... oops, did I mean to say that? To some extent, I did. Because there is a fine line between giving information if asked versus someone coming in and saying "you should do it this way because I know it works the best." There is a veiled judgment implied in that the person is actually looking at what you're doing and they disagree with your methods so they feel compelled to tell you how to do it "right."

There is no one "right way" to raise a child, process a move, clean a house, workout, diet, or write a book. Trust me. If there was just one "right way" to do anything, life would be pretty boring. We'd all be the same. And I don't think we want to be cookie cutter people. I know I don't want to be a cookie cutter person. Do you?

So the next time someone offers you unsolicited advice, even me, ask yourself what you can realistically use and toss the rest. And the next time you get ready to tell someone how well you know how to do something, ask yourself if you are actually judging that person's methods.

Question your motives. This will take you a long way. And remember to be compassionate in your views of how others approach life. This will take you even further than you can possibly imagine. Be receptive, be understanding, and act like an apprentice instead of an expert. You'll be amazed at how much you learn as a result.

Break or Bust?

I've been busy catching up on chores and friends this week. First the chores: house cleaned top to bottom--highly necessary tho' hardly a reward for hard work on my book. Hence, part deux of my break is getting to chat for a long time on the phone with my friends without worrying about it taking away writing time. And today I am going to meet one of them for lunch--that's a nice reward. Tomorrow, my friends from VA are arriving and they stay for 3 days. I'm looking forward to seeing them again. And over the weekend, I get to see my HEART OF DIXIE writing pals, learn to pitch, and that evening I am attending a surprise birthday party. Woot!

I also managed to do little odds and ends. Like hooking up with DonorsChoose

--an organization that donates money to help schools directly linked with military families. What a lovely way to support our troops! And to promote education is a positive thing as well.

And I wrote and emailed my letter asking an editor to judge our LINDA HOWARD AWARD of EXCELLENCE contest for SOUTHERN MAGIC.

I'm holding back from starting my 4th MS read through and first revision until next Monday. It's hard, but I want to give my brain a break, and I want to work on some business stuff. I want to order my business cards for the conference with my pseudonym and I want to start building my web page. Then I can stream my blog into it, and my FaceBook for my writing name. Woot!

In Between Projects...

I finished--for now. So I took a break over the weekend. Well, a writing break. Not a real break. I installed a new fan in my daughter's room. Woot! 

Then I reorganized my office. Highly necessary. There's something cool about throwing away clutter and creating space for the next project--and one awaits!

Meanwhile, I take in emails about how to send an email to a judge for a contest. NEW TERRITORY. Oh dear, please let me do this right. I want to help.

And I am preparing to pitch. Woot! Two Chapter meetings coming up. Meanwhile, I made a fake me FaceBook page. Wow. Now I need business cards and a website... can this happen now?

I am catching up on old lessons and reading about my craft. Woot! So much to learn, so much to fret about, so much to forget.

And I am mentally restructuring my writing day to match my darling daughter's summer break.  Fun! And I am organizing trips, people visiting, camps, teens, and thoughts. Mmmmm .... summer is here... can we say an :hour per day: is good?

I need to check on my editor/agent appointments. I must say, a few of the unhappy posts after BLACK TUESDAY, well, I am concerned... being anal... this is natural.

And it is great to catch up with old friends, clean the house top to bottom, prepare an amazing meal (if I do say so myself LOL), and just BE.  I am ready to move forward, but I am glad for a bit of a slow down after the frantic pace I've put in....

Gosh, I LOVE summer break. I am happy because in a few sleeps, my DD and I will be free to explore and be Mom/daughter for awhile. Of course, others will JOIN US.

So on to the next project, but slowly... steadily... and, perhaps, a bit warily.