Retro Blog: The Outside World Presses In-First Aired April 22, 2013

I signed my first publishing contract with Entangled Publishing's INDULGENCE line a little over a month after I wrote this blog. The only thing that has changed since I went from being an unpublished writer to an author with a contract is that I have real deadlines. The demons are still here. The questions and doubts still surface. The job is still very solitary which, for an extrovert such as myself, can be difficult. How can we overcome these realities? Read on:

Writing is a solitary profession. Period. Yes, we can meet with our writing colleagues at meetings and gather at conferences, but for the most part we act alone. No one can write our books for us. No one can revise our first drafts for us. And no one can force us to query or submit even when we are filled with doubts about achieving our goals.

Published or unpublished, we all fight demons. For the published authors there are real deadlines. That's great. Puts a fire under one's bottom and presses that author to work.

But me? No one is waiting for me to meet any deadlines right now. So I have to set my own deadlines which, to be honest, have been shifting daily due to outside world pressure and different expectations of myself as a writer.

I'm working hard, but real life has pressed in and I've had to fight for my writing time. Occasionally, I have to surrender to the outside pressure because it's immediate and important and intrinsic to the well-being of my family. And every interruption to my schedule impacts my ability to get back in the chair and diligently pursue a publication career.

And then there are my own demons. Personal ones that every writer, published and unpublished, struggle with all the time. Am I good enough? Have I really got what it takes to write well and write much? Did I say no to an opportunity only to lose the one chance I might have had to be published? Did I start too late? Is the story I'm working on right now good enough? Am I wasting my time? Am I wasting my family's time? Will I ever get paid for sitting here at this computer for hours on end to generate stories and ideas and more?

Do I care about the answers to these questions? Of course I care. However, I live in a delusional, imaginary world so I propose my own answers to these questions all the time. I need to otherwise I might quit. And if I quit, I reject myself.

Here are my answers: I become a stronger writer every time I sit down to write. I am a self-motivated and self-disciplined person who has the drive to work hard and work smart. There's more than one way to get published, and I'm not shy about looking down every avenue. I have a wealth of experience to draw from whenever I sit down to write a story. My current story will become better as I continue to revise it and mold it into shape. If I am happy doing what I am doing, the time I put into it doesn't matter. My family is proud of my endeavors and they support me just as I am proud of their endeavors and support them. I will get paid for generating these stories because I have a plan of action which I am actively pursuing every day.

How do you beat back the world pressing in? How do you fight the demons of doubt and despair?

Today, in 2014, the questions have changed a little, but my worries are about the the first book I've sold. I don't even care about the money part of this book selling. I care about reaching an audience of readers and my story resonating with them. I hope that I will touch a person's life in a positive way. I care about the characters in THE MAVERICK'S RED HOT REUNION. I love their struggle to find each other and discover home. And if their struggle to deserve each others' love and their ultimate happily-ever-after creates a deep connection with readers, then that is a measure of the heart of the story.

On this day I still answer my questions and fears and doubts much the same way. 

I become a stronger writer every time I sit down to write. I am a self-motivated and self-disciplined person who has the drive to work hard and work smart. I have a wealth of experience to draw from whenever I sit down to write a story. My current story will become better as I continue to revise it and mold it into shape. If I am happy doing what I am doing, the time I put into it doesn't matter. My family is proud of my endeavors and they support me just as I am proud of their endeavors and support them. I will get paid for generating these stories because I have a plan of action which I am actively pursuing every day.

And because I am willing to open my heart and share an emotional journey with my readers,  my stories will resonate in their hearts, too.

How do you answer the questions you have today as a writer?