Work and Work and Work...

Today I did the usual mundane crapola. Drove DD to inane *required elective* necessary to graduate summer school class, walked for an hour with my PW buddy, and wrote. I reworked chapter 14 and started on chapter 15. Got 3 scenes worked out. But will they ever be finished? Probably not.

Got to speak to my BF in Canada for an hour. We had arranged it prior to today and I was glad for the break. I wish I could be into her world: kids, decorating, painting, family, traveling. But no, I must flog myself continually for no pay because I am driven to write. 

We writers are strange creatures.

Am on the loop for chapter contest coordinator. They might not like how I do, but I am free labor and I want to help. Very good credentials.

Am worrying about DD who is presently at a *camp rehearsal* and dealing with the rain, lots of other more chaste young ladies (it is a Mormon camp... don't ask... we're not Mormon). 

Now I am finished for the day and eager to get the next chapter PUT TO BED... literally. Hehe.

Writing and Reading and Writing and Judging

The weekend zoomed by for me. First I had to get DD off to the lake with her friend. Then DH wanted to go to a movie and dinner with me (I was reluctant, but went, and glad I did). TERMINATOR/SALVATION... oh so yummy in so many ways are the males in that movie. Hugh Jackman has competition now!

I also judged my contest entries. I think in my zeal to keep one writer encouraged, I gave too high a score, but I did my best. I'd rather err on the side of too much than too little. The second entry I judged was fantastic. I was impressed with the story, the writing, and the professional synopsis. I finished the last contest entry today. Interesting story, very lyrical, and lots of potential. But I couldn't score the hero as I didn't know who he was. Too bad!!! But she is a talented writer and will do well once she gets her hero placed in the first few chapters.

I also read through my CP's children's MS after she sent out a 9/11 for input. It's due back to the editor/publisher tomorrow and might be picked up for a series. It was so well-written. Very few errors, and she is such a talented and humorous writer. I hope it works out for her! Woot to my friend. Crossing fingers, toes and knees for her.

I started to day with a long walk/talk with my two neighbors. Exercise is essential! When I returned, I sat down and knocked out the 13th chapter! Finally!! Chapter 14 is started and I hope to knock it out and push out the beginning of Chapter 15 as well. The plan, barring an unforeseen stupid major interruption, is to finish the MS by Friday afternoon. Then I park it till I have solid requests. 

I want to move on. I also want to get ready for my friends to visit, and I want to enjoy some of my summer with the family (though the way things are right now--worrying about money and buying a car for a teen and college for same teen--maybe I might be better off just staying in my hole and writing--or getting a "paying job"). I do wonder why I do this as I am NOT paid and I do have a kid to get through college (tho' DH has a fabulous job and career, it always seems like we can't have it all--and part of the deal for me to move to a small town in the south was to be able to TRAVEL AWAY from it--don't see that happening if we're buying cars and so forth). 

Oh well. In 3 years I'll be an empty nester and that will be worse as far as how much I will miss DD. And writing doesn't cost me much: just contest entries, paper, ink, time, and brain sweat. This too shall pass.

The RWA Conference is in 6 weeks. I have editor/agent appointments (I HOPE STILL ON THE BOOKS) lined up and I am nervous. Of course, this isn't a make or break deal. I plan to query and submit as soon as I get back home from the conference (well as soon as school starts, most likely).  I am excited about going. It makes me feel legitimate. Real. Well, real except for the whole no money bit... did I mention buying a car and college tuition??? 

I am in a bit of a funk. I want to support my DD and make it all perfect for her. But I don't want to lose sight of my hopes and dreams either. I hope it all works out. College didn't seem so daunting 3 years ago. Now it is looming. That and the car, well, it's hard to justify not using my time and talents (and I use the word "talents" loosely) for a career that guarantees money.

But I WANT to write. It's what I am supposed to do. It's who I am. It's all I ever wanted. I don't think I was meant to do anything different. Life just happened and delayed the inevitable. 

Darn it. Why is all so complicated? 

Dreaded Chapter 10

First of all, this probably used to be chapter 16 or 17 cause I had 22 chapters with only 2 scenes per chapter. *laugh later please*

But I redid it all (okay for contest purposes and editor submission purposes) and now I have 17 chapters. Which means I hit chapter ten today... at scene 24 or something like that (or was it scene 26?). Arrrghhh... not happy ... I've been hitting a chapter a day in about 3 hours or less.

Not today.

I hit it in 6 HOURS! 

And guess what? The first scene took 4 hours to revise.... argh again.

But now I am done. 

My DH is getting tired of me whining about my chapter goal. He pointed out weather cloud formations today to take my mind off of it. Then when that didn't succeed, he drove me around town and showed me tornado damage. Major damage to trees and houses. I felt bad for the victims and the trees, really I did. But I wasn't totally focused.

You see I was obsessed with figuring out how many writing days I had to reach the end of this journey... praying I would not deal with a direct tornado hit in the meantime.

One Po-Chapter--Two

OMG... I am working my way through the book... again... it is so hard.  But so far I have my chapters written as per my goal and I am adding to it... must keep moving forward... 

Yesterday I knocked out another chapter. The goal is one per writing day. I am itchy to finish this book. I don't want to get bogged down again. And I MUST finish it again before summer hits. I have company coming on the 30th for two days. Then I have a solid two weeks to write as my darling daughter is in summer school taking a computer applications *required state education elective* from 8AM to 4PM. Poor thing, but lucky me!

At the end of June, I have company coming for 1 week. I hope to write an hour a day while she is here. Then we're off and running to DC--aahh! My editor and agent appointments loom.

Must hone the pitch -- must hone the pitch --must finish revision for the zillionth time.

Will I Ever Finish Chapter Two-Scene Two?

I'm bogged down. Stuck in mud. Wanting to move forward, but catching my feet and tripping. When I think I have a solution, I go to write, and it drops away--it doesn't work. And this is the second chapter. I need it to read well. I want my first three chapters to be GOLDEN. I need them to go to Ellora's Cave. I have sworn off all contests until I finish the revision AGAIN and I keep finding more stuff to fix. Argh.

I spent 3 hours on the second chapter. Most of them on the second scene. I am desperate to make my mostly Alpha male not come off as a slime, so I've toned down a lot of what I had written. But then I lose the erotic elements that I want to showcase. Double argh.

I am devoting 1 hour to it this morning. Then I am moving forward to Chapter 3, regardless if it the second chapter is finished. I need this to work for me. Perhaps moving forward will give me some insight. At this point, I want to cut the damn scene altogether, but that leaves me hanging at the end of the first scene. The other solution is to call a trusted writing friend and ask her what to do. Another solution is to vomit anything onto the page and see if a fraction of it is fixable. 

I want to submit this piece and get it out of my hair. I have a pretty good query letter and my synopsis is shaping up nicely.  I am determined to have three chapters to send by mid-May. I think that's what bogging me down. The self-imposed deadline. But once I am finally "called"--this will be my life.

Hair pulling and gnashing of teeth come with the territory--all writers suffer from this angst: published or not!  

PRO Pin Officially Recognized Today

I know that compared to the other accomplishments and achievements of the writers in our chapter (publishing, manuscript requested, GH finalists, RITA finalists, and more) I am small potatoes today with regard to the PRO status recognition, but I don't care. I am proud that I finally had the courage to take the next step and go for the status. I could have done it years ago, but I didn't. I'm glad I didn't, because if I had known then how hard it is to get published, I don't know if I'd have kept up my end of the bargain: writing.

Any rate, there are some who achieve their goals and dreams so much faster and I am very proud for them. But I am a slow learner. I have a lot to learn as far as my craft and my understanding of the business. I can't wait to figure out how to balance it all and make it work for me. If getting a book published takes forever, then so be it. There will be other avenues to explore along the way to publication. Just being a part of two great romance chapters and blogging on one as a guest has been wonderful. And I am meeting other writers who appreciate me and my views. I like that as well.

Well, tomorrow is Easter. I hope I can step in and be profound. If not, Happy Easter to Everyone!