The New Golden Heart Rules--for Writing

I am in GH revisions and I have less than a week to get this puppy out the door. There is an official submission guideline for the contest, but I have my rules for submitting that have very little to do with formatting. Here they are:

*Stouffer's products are healthy ... they are your friend
*yes, dear, you may have a colleague over for dinner provided he/she understands that Stouffer's is the chef de jour
*yes, dear, you may have a colleague over provided he/she understands that dust bunnies only reside here during GH prep month (haha)
*baths? what are those?
*hair? makeup? Oh. My. God! I really am... pushing... won't even utter the age number
*paper and ink... keep a steady supply and don't share with anyone
*lint... learn to love it
*dust... take allergy meds
*toilet bowl cleaner can stay in the toilet for days
*synonyms? we don't need no stinkin' synonyms...
*it really is okay to have clutter for now
*living on leftovers ... from Stouffer's.... it's okay
*wine... chocolate... tea.... Dr. Pepper... all allowed in great quantities
*I have a family? Oh yeah...
*clean clothes? oh yeah... did the timer beep on the dryer? Why get up and check?
*suddenly plucking chin hairs becomes an obsession and beautiful diversion from the keyboard
*who knew there were so many ways to say "buried?"
*love me now, scold me later.... (title for a new book I am sure!)

And that is it in a nutshell.... go forth, be bold, bathe occasionally, and stock up on frozen dinners.