On Monday I wrote about my tools to battle back the world pressing in and battling the demons of doubt and despair. Part of the reason I'm so tough on myself right now is I have set the bar very high this year. And another large part of the reason I am driving myself so hard is I've redirected the focus of my writing energy.
This is the first year I have taken a sabbatical from entering contests. I love contests. They give me deadlines. They validate me as a writer. They provide useful feedback. Last year I was a Triple Finalist and winner of the Linda Howard Award of Excellence. I've experience lots of high moments with other contests as well. I love contests so much I decided to help my Southern Magic Romance Writers out by coordinating the Linda Howard Award of Excellence this year.
So why have I sworn off contests? Easy answer: they focus my energy only on the first three chapters of the book and, in some cases, the synopsis. And I have a different goal this year. I want to polish and hone three full manuscripts to the best of my abilities at this point.
I want to take what I've learned during the last two years and implement that knowledge. I want to revise my full manuscripts with my new writing eyes. Eyes that see things differently. Eyes that understand what is expected of the manuscript's promise. And eyes that are HONEST about the quality of the writing.
I also want to take two monthlong online courses that will require me to expend my energy in learning more about the business side of the publication industry and more about the craft of writing a complex novel.
My critique partner says I'm harder on myself than anyone else. She's right. I wouldn't be where I am as a writer and as a person if I didn't push myself to succeed. But I also strive to have a balanced life. A life that includes hanging out with people who aren't writers, spending time with the Physicist on the Veranda, and building my relationship with the College Kid as she transitions from home to the world.
So if I want that balance and I want to achieve all of my goals, I must say no to something that isn't necessary to my life as a writer. And as much as I crave the validation of a contest final, I know in my heart that my time is better spent shaping my novels into amazing stories and generating new stories and building strong bonds with my family.
Have your personal and professional goals changed? Why?
Showing posts with label focus. Show all posts
Showing posts with label focus. Show all posts
Wednesday, April 24, 2013
Thursday, December 31, 2009
Review, Reflect & Renew
"The object of goals is getting there... the object of dreams is the journey." Delle Jacobs
New Year's Eve has arrived and once again I am sitting down to review, to reflect and to renew my personal life map. I prefer to think of setting goals as making a map.
My goals aren't immovable objects I must reach. They are check points along life's highway. Sometimes they are easy hills to climb and conquer. Other times they are not. Occasionally, life throws me a curveball, and I have to take a detour which leads to unexpected places. And then my life journey's GPS signal has to recalculate the route.
All along the way, I bring out my map and see where I've gone before I move forward. I adjust my schedule and I set other goals based on the surprises I encounter.
I have a process I use every year which I refined about five years ago when I started a year long journey with three other women who had reached a crossroads with me. We all came from different backgrounds, had different pressures facing us, and we all wanted to take control of our energy and refocus it in a positive way.
We stumbled upon a book called LIFE MAKEOVERS by Cheryl Richardson and decided to embark on going through the book together. By the time I had finished the journey with my friends, I had clarified my need to write and had written my first book. We all benefitted from the book so much, we revisited it again. Now I draw it out to start my new year and cover the chapters that helped me solidify my goals and map out my journey.
So, with all respect and thanks to Cheryl Richardson, here is part one of my goal setting, map making journey. Before I make a new map, I review my past year. I don't focus on what I didn't check off the list. I focus on what I accomplished. I write down 25 things I accomplished during the year. The accomplishments are not limited to my writing. They include my life as a mom and as a wife and as a friend. The first year I wrote down this accomplishment: I drove my daughter to school every day. Seems small, but that drive gave us valuable bonding time. And I treasure those moments with her.
Subsequent years have seen more and more writing accomplishments on the list of 25. And that shows I am growing as a writer who is actively pursuing her career.
Second, I narrow down the accomplishments to the top five achievements. Based on the book, I ask myself what qualities they showed in me. How did I grow as a human being? What strengths did they demonstrate? Third, I make a focus statement based on where I want to go on my journey. Yes, I do this every year. This year's focus statement will probably be very similar to last year's: I enjoy being bold, courageous and focused as I pursue my dream of becoming published writer. On a personal level, I also write a focus statement: I enjoy being a physically, spiritually and mentally strong person.
Next, again this is based on the LIFE MAKEOVER BOOK, I come up with a top five priority YES list. I usually tweak it every quarter to reflect changes in the family needs and my professional life. This list is vital (and I must admit I needed to review it more often this past year) because it solidifies for me where I absolutely will say NO to outside requests. No explanation. No reasons as to why not. And no guilt. If the request doesn't fit into my Top 5 Yes Priority List, I simply say, "No." Try it. Saying no is a heady experience. Sometimes, based on my list, I say, "Yes, but here is what is coming up and I need to know if you are okay with me bowing out should it become necessary."
Once I have clarified where I've been, what I've learned and how I want to shine internally, I sit down and make my goal list for the following year. First I write down the top things I want to accomplish based on my focus statement. I do this for my writing and for my personal family life. Then I make a spread sheet and break down my goals into bite size pieces. The spread sheet has each month along the left hand side, a section for writing goals and family needs/goals along the top. This way I can visually see what events are coming. If I have a due date, I add that to the list. I usually tweak this spread sheet every couple of months or quarter of the year.
Now that I've told you how I go about setting goals, I want to add a codicil. These are my methods. They work for me. I formulated them over time. And they are bound to ideas learned and culled from other, much smarter people than I. Ultimately, how a YOU assess your life and create your goals for your journey toward your dreams is up to you.
The most important thing to learn from me is Have A Plan. Know where you are going. How we get there will vary. Another important lesson I've learned is I need to incorporate WIGGLE ROOM in my personal journey. I need to have a space that's empty that leaves room for surprises, positive and negative, that might change the direction of my journey.
In 2009, I surprised myself by learning how to Pitch and I went to the RWA National Conference where I practiced my skill. Wow, I got requests. New life path. New little detour. I also surprised myself with adding blogging as a guest blogger as part of the Southern Magic Romance Magicians blog. I started my own, almost daily blog, and I became a writing contest judge. Those items weren't on my "goal list." But by allowing myself time to wiggle, I could add them. I also added some items and tasks that I regretted later. But one cannot learn one's strengths until one learns her weaknesses as well. Now I know what NOT to try next year. Not a bad lesson.
I know 2010 will not be easy to navigate already based on my Father in Law's illness. There will be unexpected travels, difficult situations to maneuver, and the heartbreak emotionally of seeing a good man felled by cancer. I must allow for wiggle room to bend and flow with those waves. I also know I have a husband who is going to undergo hip replacement surgery in February 2010. I must clear the docks for that event. At the same time I must also continue pursuing my professional goals whenever I can. I must prepare.
And those are only the expected life events. I know much more will happen. Some will be negative, but many other life events will be positive. I want to be ready for them. And the best way I can prepare for the way my journey might detour is to focus on my goals, be prepared for change, and carry a flexible attitude.
So, in a nutshell here's my process for setting up my journey through each year:
*reflect upon past accomplishments
*make a focus statement that brings you into the new year
*establish a top 5 priority list
*write your goals down and have a plan
*break down your goals into bite size pieces
*review your goals on a quarterly basis
*leave wiggle room for life's interesting surprises
Life is journey. Enjoy it. Live it. Flow with it. Mark Twain said it best: Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. EXPLORE. DREAM. DISCOVER.
All the best to you as you set your map's check points for 2010!
New Year's Eve has arrived and once again I am sitting down to review, to reflect and to renew my personal life map. I prefer to think of setting goals as making a map.
My goals aren't immovable objects I must reach. They are check points along life's highway. Sometimes they are easy hills to climb and conquer. Other times they are not. Occasionally, life throws me a curveball, and I have to take a detour which leads to unexpected places. And then my life journey's GPS signal has to recalculate the route.
All along the way, I bring out my map and see where I've gone before I move forward. I adjust my schedule and I set other goals based on the surprises I encounter.
I have a process I use every year which I refined about five years ago when I started a year long journey with three other women who had reached a crossroads with me. We all came from different backgrounds, had different pressures facing us, and we all wanted to take control of our energy and refocus it in a positive way.
We stumbled upon a book called LIFE MAKEOVERS by Cheryl Richardson and decided to embark on going through the book together. By the time I had finished the journey with my friends, I had clarified my need to write and had written my first book. We all benefitted from the book so much, we revisited it again. Now I draw it out to start my new year and cover the chapters that helped me solidify my goals and map out my journey.
So, with all respect and thanks to Cheryl Richardson, here is part one of my goal setting, map making journey. Before I make a new map, I review my past year. I don't focus on what I didn't check off the list. I focus on what I accomplished. I write down 25 things I accomplished during the year. The accomplishments are not limited to my writing. They include my life as a mom and as a wife and as a friend. The first year I wrote down this accomplishment: I drove my daughter to school every day. Seems small, but that drive gave us valuable bonding time. And I treasure those moments with her.
Subsequent years have seen more and more writing accomplishments on the list of 25. And that shows I am growing as a writer who is actively pursuing her career.
Second, I narrow down the accomplishments to the top five achievements. Based on the book, I ask myself what qualities they showed in me. How did I grow as a human being? What strengths did they demonstrate? Third, I make a focus statement based on where I want to go on my journey. Yes, I do this every year. This year's focus statement will probably be very similar to last year's: I enjoy being bold, courageous and focused as I pursue my dream of becoming published writer. On a personal level, I also write a focus statement: I enjoy being a physically, spiritually and mentally strong person.
Next, again this is based on the LIFE MAKEOVER BOOK, I come up with a top five priority YES list. I usually tweak it every quarter to reflect changes in the family needs and my professional life. This list is vital (and I must admit I needed to review it more often this past year) because it solidifies for me where I absolutely will say NO to outside requests. No explanation. No reasons as to why not. And no guilt. If the request doesn't fit into my Top 5 Yes Priority List, I simply say, "No." Try it. Saying no is a heady experience. Sometimes, based on my list, I say, "Yes, but here is what is coming up and I need to know if you are okay with me bowing out should it become necessary."
Once I have clarified where I've been, what I've learned and how I want to shine internally, I sit down and make my goal list for the following year. First I write down the top things I want to accomplish based on my focus statement. I do this for my writing and for my personal family life. Then I make a spread sheet and break down my goals into bite size pieces. The spread sheet has each month along the left hand side, a section for writing goals and family needs/goals along the top. This way I can visually see what events are coming. If I have a due date, I add that to the list. I usually tweak this spread sheet every couple of months or quarter of the year.
Now that I've told you how I go about setting goals, I want to add a codicil. These are my methods. They work for me. I formulated them over time. And they are bound to ideas learned and culled from other, much smarter people than I. Ultimately, how a YOU assess your life and create your goals for your journey toward your dreams is up to you.
The most important thing to learn from me is Have A Plan. Know where you are going. How we get there will vary. Another important lesson I've learned is I need to incorporate WIGGLE ROOM in my personal journey. I need to have a space that's empty that leaves room for surprises, positive and negative, that might change the direction of my journey.
In 2009, I surprised myself by learning how to Pitch and I went to the RWA National Conference where I practiced my skill. Wow, I got requests. New life path. New little detour. I also surprised myself with adding blogging as a guest blogger as part of the Southern Magic Romance Magicians blog. I started my own, almost daily blog, and I became a writing contest judge. Those items weren't on my "goal list." But by allowing myself time to wiggle, I could add them. I also added some items and tasks that I regretted later. But one cannot learn one's strengths until one learns her weaknesses as well. Now I know what NOT to try next year. Not a bad lesson.
I know 2010 will not be easy to navigate already based on my Father in Law's illness. There will be unexpected travels, difficult situations to maneuver, and the heartbreak emotionally of seeing a good man felled by cancer. I must allow for wiggle room to bend and flow with those waves. I also know I have a husband who is going to undergo hip replacement surgery in February 2010. I must clear the docks for that event. At the same time I must also continue pursuing my professional goals whenever I can. I must prepare.
And those are only the expected life events. I know much more will happen. Some will be negative, but many other life events will be positive. I want to be ready for them. And the best way I can prepare for the way my journey might detour is to focus on my goals, be prepared for change, and carry a flexible attitude.
So, in a nutshell here's my process for setting up my journey through each year:
*reflect upon past accomplishments
*make a focus statement that brings you into the new year
*establish a top 5 priority list
*write your goals down and have a plan
*break down your goals into bite size pieces
*review your goals on a quarterly basis
*leave wiggle room for life's interesting surprises
Life is journey. Enjoy it. Live it. Flow with it. Mark Twain said it best: Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. EXPLORE. DREAM. DISCOVER.
All the best to you as you set your map's check points for 2010!
Sunday, March 1, 2009
A Lot to Juggle and A Lot to Write
As I head into the next week, I know I will be unable to focus all my energy on my writing. A part of me is very frustrated by that knowledge, but the truth is, I have to run my household. I have fallen behind on filling out paperwork for my daughter's and my eligibility to regain my Dutch citizenship. I have got items to return to BB&B. I have to hunt for missing receipts for taxes. I have to do tons of laundry, clean house, cook meals, and finish planning my vacation for spring break.
It's frustrating. I want to just jump back in, but it'll be tippy toes first. And to top it all off, I am very tired. I think I am getting a sinus infection and I know that will bugger up my good intentions. Because I still have to do the house stuff. And if I am sick, all my leftover bits of energy will go into those chores.
And my brain is sort of full of stuff I don't need in it and I want to pull it out and park it somewhere else so it all doesn't distract me from focusing on my writing.
How do professional writers without maids and personal assistants manage to do it all? I guess they are like me. How do other writers manage, ones like me who aren't paid? I could see my husband's eyes glaze over when I moaned about wanting to get back into writing. He's seen the entire household turned upside down for two weeks now and he is missing my being able to juggle house and writing and child for him. But I don't blame him. He's been great and has picked up the most important balls for me and kept them in the air.
Now they are tossed back to me.
Hope I manage to keep them up in the air long enough to get through this week without getting sick.
It's frustrating. I want to just jump back in, but it'll be tippy toes first. And to top it all off, I am very tired. I think I am getting a sinus infection and I know that will bugger up my good intentions. Because I still have to do the house stuff. And if I am sick, all my leftover bits of energy will go into those chores.
And my brain is sort of full of stuff I don't need in it and I want to pull it out and park it somewhere else so it all doesn't distract me from focusing on my writing.
How do professional writers without maids and personal assistants manage to do it all? I guess they are like me. How do other writers manage, ones like me who aren't paid? I could see my husband's eyes glaze over when I moaned about wanting to get back into writing. He's seen the entire household turned upside down for two weeks now and he is missing my being able to juggle house and writing and child for him. But I don't blame him. He's been great and has picked up the most important balls for me and kept them in the air.
Now they are tossed back to me.
Hope I manage to keep them up in the air long enough to get through this week without getting sick.
Monday, January 5, 2009
Monday and a Fresh Week
Well it's almost here: The beginning of a new school year and the beginning of new writing challenges for me. Already I am feeling anxious to get rolling on the revision. I know there will be interuptions, but I plan to get it done by the middle of January. Then I can play on the new book!!
Today my only focus is writing because I still have a teen at home. Tomorrow I will try to get my head wrapped around a couple of courses, and I will clear out the office. It's not a perfect start, but the move has taught me to be more flexible with myself and my days. I manage to get a lot done just the same without being uber strict.
I had a critique buddie who got so bogged down in the process of writing that she forgot to have fun! And writing is about both aspects. Without flexibility there is no time to grow and learn from oneself. I find the time off of writing, for whatever reason, leads to better writing. It's as if the forced time away brings one back to the computer more refreshed and ready to tackle the work.
Today my goal is 1-3 hours. That's it.
Today my only focus is writing because I still have a teen at home. Tomorrow I will try to get my head wrapped around a couple of courses, and I will clear out the office. It's not a perfect start, but the move has taught me to be more flexible with myself and my days. I manage to get a lot done just the same without being uber strict.
I had a critique buddie who got so bogged down in the process of writing that she forgot to have fun! And writing is about both aspects. Without flexibility there is no time to grow and learn from oneself. I find the time off of writing, for whatever reason, leads to better writing. It's as if the forced time away brings one back to the computer more refreshed and ready to tackle the work.
Today my goal is 1-3 hours. That's it.
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